I'm finishing grad school this semester and I'm applying for jobs like crazy but no bites, so I'm thinking about looking outside metro new york. DH already has a stable job, but I told DH that if I got a job outside NY we might have to live apart for about 2 years so I can gain experience and hopefully come back.
What do you ladies think about living apart for 2 years because of work?
DH said he would quit his job and work at walmart so we dont have to live apart. Hes such a great hubby
wo0shply
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Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by Mimacat
What do you want to do at a college? Do you want to teach?
I mostly do academic advising but those jobs are pretty slim right now. I've applied to everything and everything that is entry level.
Moving out of state for me is the last resort, my back up plan is to go back to a hospital and work there. Hopefully we wont have to think about living apart.
wo0shply
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Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by Jenn04
I personally would not do it either. If it was something temporary, like a few months than maybe.
But why cant you just get a part time job or something on the side until you find work? That is what I would do!
I'm working part time right now but I might not have this job after I graduate, so DH is paying for almost everything right now and I know its a huge stress for him but hes a trooper. I really want to help contribute as much as I can because he works so hard.
Toucan311
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Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by wo0shply
Posted by Mimacat
What do you want to do at a college? Do you want to teach?
I mostly do academic advising but those jobs are pretty slim right now. I've applied to everything and everything that is entry level.
Moving out of state for me is the last resort, my back up plan is to go back to a hospital and work there. Hopefully we wont have to think about living apart.
I'm on faculty at Suffolk, so we get all of the employment postings before they go public. If I see anything, I'll pass it along!
cbcf
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Re: Living apart because of work
I know we could do it since we were apart for 4 years....however we would NOT want to do it again ever!!!!! It is definitely hard and if not used to it can definitely put a strain on a marriage in certain situations/and at certain times.
I think you need to do what is best for you both though. If mkaing more money for you 2 to save would mean you leaving NY then maybe that's the best option. But it's definitely something no one can influence you to do or not to do...take your time thinking about it and considering every option and remember talk with DH and what he honestly thinks!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
bonch20
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Re: Living apart because of work
that's stinks you're in such a stressful situation. dh started working this year in NJ and commutes about 1 1/2 hours....i feel terrible sometimes when he gets home late. what a crappy economy, but at least we both have jobs. we've been together so long that i'm not sure i could live apart from him.....even if it were for a better life later on.
good luck!!!
wo0shply
Posted:
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Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by Mimacat
Posted by wo0shply
Posted by Mimacat
What do you want to do at a college? Do you want to teach?
I mostly do academic advising but those jobs are pretty slim right now. I've applied to everything and everything that is entry level.
Moving out of state for me is the last resort, my back up plan is to go back to a hospital and work there. Hopefully we wont have to think about living apart.
I'm on faculty at Suffolk, so we get all of the employment postings before they go public. If I see anything, I'll pass it along!
oh thanks that will be a HUGE help!
bensgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by wo0shply
Posted by Mimacat
What do you want to do at a college? Do you want to teach?
I mostly do academic advising but those jobs are pretty slim right now. I've applied to everything and everything that is entry level.
Moving out of state for me is the last resort, my back up plan is to go back to a hospital and work there. Hopefully we wont have to think about living apart.
we are in the same EXACT profession. i'm the director of a graduate advising office at a university in the city. i will also keep my eyes open for you. do you want to stay in advising or would you take a job in another area (like admissions or res. life?)
Espo22
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Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by wo0shply
where do they live if they commute to PA? my friend says theres an express train to philly but I think it would be too expensive to do a commute everyday.
my hairdresser was doing this. She moved to philly but still working in manhattan so she would commute on their express train. I think it took her about 2 hours the commute.
Or if you work in jersey or CT, you can commute there from NY you dont have to move there. I was working in jersey but living in queens. There are trains that go there, or if its further out you can drive there.
And i understand that those trains arent always the cheapest BUT i think in the end it would still be cheaper. If you are going to live apart then you will have a bunch of added expenses by both of you living in 2 separate places. WOuld you pay rent or anything to a family member. Plus you would always have to buy food for just yourself, your dh just for himself instead of putting in for a meal together. And just being somewhere else you are going to pay for things on your own or that you wouldnt even haveto pay for if you two lived together
bensgirl
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Re: Living apart because of work
you have FM!!! :)
joshisgirl
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Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by Mimacat
It seems like a huge strain to put on a marriage that is brand new. I would never.
i agree, especially since the first few years are supposedly the best w/o as many responsibilities. maybe you can start looking for jobs out of state together instead? and move back to NY when you're both ready?
i'm really sorry that you're dealing with this, though. it must be really tough to know that you're even considering this as an option.
jtgarsik
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by cbcf
I know we could do it since we were apart for 4 years....however we would NOT want to do it again ever!!!!! It is definitely hard and if not used to it can definitely put a strain on a marriage in certain situations/and at certain times.
I think you need to do what is best for you both though. If mkaing more money for you 2 to save would mean you leaving NY then maybe that's the best option. But it's definitely something no one can influence you to do or not to do...take your time thinking about it and considering every option and remember talk with DH and what he honestly thinks!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
