What would we ever do without girlfriends?! We can tell them everything -- right? Well…maybe not. If you’re having issues with your mate, say, between the sheets or when it comes to money matters, is it okay to seek counsel from your friends, or are some things better kept between just the two of you?
Do you share your marital issues with friends? When, if ever, is it appropriate to do so?
Well, so far our only marital issue has been me not being able to find a job & how that puts a crunch on things financially. But I have spoken w/friends in the past when DH was FH & we would have a fight about something. Sometimes I needed a sounding board - just to vent or to get an outsider's perspective. Ive never ever though discussed matters inclusive of our intimate relations.
springsandra
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
I wouldn't just discuss with my regular girlfriends over drinks or something... I *might* talk with my best friend about a specific thing to bounce it off her, but for the most part, our personal issues are private.
MLAngelo
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Depends on what they are. If its more about me then maybe, like the fact I am not bringing a job to the table. Yes I will ***** to my friends about that. If its about him, I try not to. But in general, I try not to discuss marital issues with friends or even my parents. My mom learned a lesson when she was in college that she always told me and it sunk in. Her roommate always bitched about her boyfriend and their relationship. It got to the point my mom hated him. But LIsa loved him and she would forgive him for the things he did, while my mom, who did not love him would get more and more angry at him.
You love each other and can forgive one another. Your friends will not be the same way.
LadyDuda81509
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
when i have issues with anything i always need to complain to someone...thats how i feel better. I usually only tell my best friend tho...she understands me the best and we know everything about each other! she is the same way with me, we both know that when we vent or complain about something its just to get out the anger or frustrations with whatever the situation is...usually we get over it shortly after we vent...lol we both over react over the situation! lol
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
I dont discuss issues with my friends at all. Silly things yes, but big things no...
There is only one person, who is like a sister, who I would trust at all to tellanything to. But even then I try to just keep things private...
Dr Meg
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
It depends on what it is. I have learned from past experiences (with an Ex) that if you go to your friends with only the bad, that is all they know and that is how they will judge your guy. But certain things you just need an outside perspective on. One of my good friends called me in hysterics last week over something that was going on between her and her DH. I know they have a great relationship and I would never judge her or him on what she told me. But I could tell she really just needed a shoulder to cry on.
AugustBridein09
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Nope....I keep mum on all things FAMILY...and now DH is family so nope...no sharing. I'll share funny stories and little things like 'John and I argued last night over watching the yankee game or food network' but never anything serious.
NikkiR515
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
When it comes to this I am a 'you get what you give' type of girl. I have a VERY select few girls who will freely vent to me when they have problems and so I feel I can do the same. We all know that it is out of frustration and we don't hold anything against the other persons' significant other. I have gotten a bit wiser to some people though and if my friends do not talk to me then I don't really talk to them. I just rather not have a one-sided venting relationship becuase I feel that person would be more inclined to judge my dh than one who calls me and complains about hers.. I could be WAY off base there but so far things have been good.
BarbieGrl10
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
It depends what it is... I cant hide when I'm upset so its easy for people to tell but I dont really go into detail.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Oh, I've told quite a few friends some big things in the past... do I regret some things? yes... but I personally need to get many diff perspectives on an issue... it helps me sort through things a bit easier
KittyGags
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Posted by BarbieGrl10
It depends what it is... I cant hide when I'm upset so its easy for people to tell but I dont really go into detail.
Me too, I wear my heart on my sleeve but I try to keep most of the very personal details to myself...
flairforfashion
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Nope. Stays between us. No ones business except ours.
MirabellaNYC
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
I keep most things pretty private...I don't like to get people involved in our personal affairs.
I will, however, talk about hilarious 'on the bowl' antics from time to time, but thats about it
meara
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Oh I totally talk about things with a few close friends but always about processing not really about complaining about things. . and I agree NOT to do it in the way that people will think negative things but I often find that people outside of the equation help you put perspective on things. .
MrsInglima
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Last year we had a lot of money issues because DH lost his job three times so it caused a lot of relationship issues. He's a bad money manager and I was trying to play catch up to get him out of the red, and then all of this stuff happened. It caused so much stress, we would fight almost every day. There was a lot of slamming doors, crying, and at one point DH left out apartment for half an hour and when he got back if I was gone he said he would have called it all off. I don't know how you can go through something like that and NOT share it with your friends. Your friends are there for you when you're upset and need to talk to someone, and that means no matter what the circumstances they are there for you. Sometimes you need that outsider to put things in perspective.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Marital Issues: Okay to Share With Friends?
Posted by MrsInglima
Last year we had a lot of money issues because DH lost his job three times so it caused a lot of relationship issues. He's a bad money manager and I was trying to play catch up to get him out of the red, and then all of this stuff happened. It caused so much stress, we would fight almost every day. There was a lot of slamming doors, crying, and at one point DH left out apartment for half an hour and when he got back if I was gone he said he would have called it all off. I don't know how you can go through something like that and NOT share it with your friends. Your friends are there for you when you're upset and need to talk to someone, and that means no matter what the circumstances they are there for you. Sometimes you need that outsider to put things in perspective.
Thats how I feel... Believe me... we've been rocky as hell for the past couple weeks... and i dont know what i would have done without the girls taking me out, getting my mind off of things, having people to listen and just tell you if you are over-reacting and tips on what to do next... Its really prevented me from going off the deep end... Diff strokes for diff folks!
