MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11

Peesh. No runaway groom would get all dressed up like that. I like the acting effort being put in by the groomsmen, but I need a pair of running shoes or something to show he’s committed (heh) to bailing.

Well, this is something I’ve never seen before. It’s like the photographer said, “OK, now act like you’re about to get wasted at a big party!” and the dude on the end was like, “Oh well in that case I’ll swing my child by her feet.”


Judging by the looks on these bridesmaids’ faces, they’re not exactly thrilled about what they’re wearing. That or it’s just really hot outside. But I’m assuming it’s the former, because…wow. It’s like a fugtastic Easter ensemble gone very, very wrong. Especially the blue dress with the ruching, which is meant to be flattering. Flattering it is not.





















omg.. i miss sailor moon sooo much!













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When serving beets to your significant other for the first time you may want to explain to him that they dye EVERYTHING red. If you don't, he will freak out and think he is dying after a trip to the bathroom the next day. #LFMF
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When you ask 'How is the pregnant woman today?' make sure everyone at the table already knows she is pregnant. #LFMF
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'Yeah, she licked up all the white stuff,' Might be totally innocent in your conversation. The guy behind you, however, does not know you are talking about your cat's medication. You will get asked out for all the wrong reasons. #LFMF
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If you are feeling gaseous while feeling droggy on the train- it's a good idea not to go to sleep. The chairs are plastic and will echo even the quietest sound. You will fart yourself awake. #LFMF
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The “Wedding March” and “Oh Christmas Tree” start with the same notes. Look twice where you are before you start singing loudly. #LFMF
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tfln and fml to come

Re: MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11

fuk me gently with a chainsaw... lmao!

and ok baby jesus...

Re: MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11

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Posted by AngnShaun

fuk me gently with a chainsaw... lmao!

and ok baby jesus...

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i really wanna make that my FB status... BUT... my dance director is on there.. and he wont be so happy if i put that.

Re: MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11

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Posted by AngnShaun

fuk me gently with a chainsaw... lmao!

and ok baby jesus...

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ITA... I'm crying from laughing

Re: MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11

love these!

Re: MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11

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Posted by dctead

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Posted by AngnShaun

fuk me gently with a chainsaw... lmao!

and ok baby jesus...

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ITA... I'm crying from laughing

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thats a quote from heathers, the greatest high school girl murder movie with winona ryder ever lol

Re: MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML
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Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? 'Someone needs to shave.' FML
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Today, I had to point out the 'no shirt, no shoes, no service' sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML
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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
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(252):

I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
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(917):

On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
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(705):

i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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(740):

Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn'. **** everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
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(330):

Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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(605):

He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
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(479):

When I came in she was screaming 'boundaries!' at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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(303):

We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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(619):

My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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the end...
happy monday!

Re: MONDAY PICK ME UP'S! 1*10*11