Moving in with parents could you do it?

I was so against it. I said I could never do that no way! But now that I think about it. It would save us so much money! My parents live in a great neighborhood and a great School District!

My parents have offered to put a dormer on the house. Make a full apt. Upstairs with a private entrance and everything would be brand new. We would pay them 'rent' to cover the extra mortgage (350.00 less a month then we pay now!) Plus we pay our own gas and electic which here we would only pay electic. The only thing is that we have to comit to stay here for a long long time.

I am ready Mike is iffy. Could you do it? Paying our rent now is NOT easy for us. We manage but have nothing left over.

if it means that you will then be able to buy a house in a few years, then why not?

IMO, it is nothing to be ashamed of and seems like it is becoming more and more common these days as a result of the over-inflated LI housing market.

did you say that you'd have to stay there for a long time? (you wrote 'here', but I'm not sure if that's what you meant)

Remember, if you make a commitment to your parents, you can't change your mind later on...without major drama

to answer your question, we would avoid living with our parents at almost any cost.

We did stay with his mom. We even thought about renting an apartment from her, but she drives me absolutely insane.

And, we don't even talk to my Dad anymore- we could NEVER live with him. He's too controlling.

My mom- well, I guess it would be possible, but we prefer our privacy.

well My parents want us to make a comitment and in 2 years not say We are going to buy a house and they are stuck with the mortgage. They don't want to rent the apt to any outsiders. Honestly Staying in our apt. (which is a nice apt.) is so expensive and we are slowly dwindeling away our savings. I drive a 12 year old car and we have nothing to show. My dad keeps saying the apt. Will help you guys out too (when the die ) cause I will get the house (well me and my brother who is not happy living in Florida but Cannot afford to live here) So It would mean staying her FOR a long time to pay the mortgage.

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Posted by june262004

well My parents want us to make a comitment and in 2 years not say We are going to buy a house and they are stuck with the mortgage.

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For this reason, I don't think it's a good idea. That's just too long of a commitment. They think 2 years is too SHORT? Not good! That's a long time. I can understand where they're coming from, financially, but you'd be killing your chances of getting your own home for a VERY long time if you make this commitment to your parents.

Sorry

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Posted by suven

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Posted by june262004

well My parents want us to make a comitment and in 2 years not say We are going to buy a house and they are stuck with the mortgage.

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For this reason, I don't think it's a good idea. That's just too long of a commitment. They think 2 years is too SHORT? Not good! That's a long time. I can understand where they're coming from, financially, but you'd be killing your chances of getting your own home for a VERY long time if you make this commitment to your parents.

Sorry

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I agree. It seems like a long commitment to make. Especially when you are just starting your lives together. I don't think I could do it.

I personally think its a good idea financially. I have neighbors who do it and its great for them because they pay a minimal amount and since he is a cop she has people in the house when he works nights....so she likes it...and her husband does all the things in the house for his parents....and when they die they get the house so they are very happy. Oh and also she can be a stay at home mom too.

However, how are your parents to live with? Are they nosey? Will they be in your business constantly?? That can cause issues?

As for the time issue i understand why your parents are requesting for you to stay for awhile. You have to think about kids you plan on having and if there is room in that apartment for them. You don't want to have two bedrooms and agree to this and then when you have two kids be in a cramped apartment....(if that is the case maybe move downstairs and have your parents move upstairs)

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Posted by suven

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Posted by june262004

well My parents want us to make a comitment and in 2 years not say We are going to buy a house and they are stuck with the mortgage.

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For this reason, I don't think it's a good idea. That's just too long of a commitment. They think 2 years is too SHORT? Not good! That's a long time. I can understand where they're coming from, financially, but you'd be killing your chances of getting your own home for a VERY long time if you make this commitment to your parents.

Sorry

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I agree. Personally, I wouldn't do it for any length of time, just because I feel like I am old enough to be married, and therefore old enough not to rely on the parents (for a short period of time between apt and house, or when house undergoing fumigations is one thing...). I just think it is difficult to truly 'grow up' when you live with your parents. There is always the mentality (from them and I think internal) that they are still providing for you.

That's a tough one. On the one hand, having a private set-up like the one your parents are offering would be great. On the other hand, for them to arrange that for you will mean you're committed to them for a long time, and that may be hard.

Good luck with whatever you decide. You have to do whatever will work for you in the long run.

It makes a lot of sense financially, but you really have to consider your relationship with your parents and how that may affect your happiness living there, and how your relationship may change.

Personally, I wouldn't do it b/c I don't want any of our family in our business that much.

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Posted by nov04LIbride

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Posted by suven

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Posted by june262004

well My parents want us to make a comitment and in 2 years not say We are going to buy a house and they are stuck with the mortgage.

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For this reason, I don't think it's a good idea. That's just too long of a commitment. They think 2 years is too SHORT? Not good! That's a long time. I can understand where they're coming from, financially, but you'd be killing your chances of getting your own home for a VERY long time if you make this commitment to your parents.

Sorry

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I agree. Personally, I wouldn't do it for any length of time, just because I feel like I am old enough to be married, and therefore old enough not to rely on the parents (for a short period of time between apt and house, or when house undergoing fumigations is one thing...). I just think it is difficult to truly 'grow up' when you live with your parents. There is always the mentality (from them and I think internal) that they are still providing for you.

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How do you figure I would be living off of them. Id be paying off the Dormer?

And my parents don't come here or call me. Im not sure how much that would change. Growing up they NEVER went in my room. They never were in my business its hard to judge if it would be different.

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Posted by june262004

How do you figure I would be living off of them. Id be paying off the Dormer?

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I just meant they are putting forth the money to expand the place...Even if you think of it as a 'loan' that you are paying off as you commit to live in the dormer, I wouldn't take a loan from my parents either. That's just a thing with me--I would rather live in a smaller place to save money and feel self sufficient than rely on them. I'm sure some people could do it, but I couldn't. Either way, you are definitely going to run into them A LOT, and I think more distance is more healthy for newlyweds. Only you know what is right for you, but it's not a situation I would want to be in, even having a great relationship with my mom. Plus I just can't imagine committing years to something like that--would you eventually want your own place? What if they said 5 years? What's the limit to say that would be too long? Since you mentioned school district I guess you are thinking at least til you have school age children...Maybe 6-10 years? IMO that is much longer than I would want to commit.

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Posted by am470

I would say no because I think it is unrealistic to stay for so long. In reality, you would only be saving $350 a month anyway. So I don't think that would put you that far ahead anyway.

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Its not a matter of us 'getting ahead' I don't see myself ever getting a house. Its just to expensive. Its a matter of being able to pay my bills! And my DH has a good job and gets a nice paycheck.