My FIL passed away!

so sorry for your loss...

I'm so sorry for your loss... I went through this with DH a few months before we were married...it was a very difficult time and it was hard b/c I felt like I couldn't do anything for him...just be there and listen if/when he needs to talk and I also found it help to keep DH current with everyday things that were going on but to keep away any problems b/c they really just need time to process the whole thing. DH's father was sick for awhile as well but I dont think anyone is ever prepared to lose someone they love...hugs to you and your DH

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Posted by lanabean

I'm so sorry...just be there to listen and love him. I wish I could help more...but just being there for him will help a lot, I think.

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I agree - having lost both of my parents, that's the best you can do. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Please extend my deepest condolences to Dan and his family! I can only imagine what this must feel like. I have no 'real life' advice, but I think some of the ladies above have said some great things...just be there for him...listen to him...comfort him as only you know how. May God rest his soul!

I'm sorry you have to go through this!

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Posted by Backinneyork

Hi Guys -

My FIL passed away this morning. He had been sick for awhile.

I think I am doing everything I can for DH, but if any of you have gone through this and have any tips on how I can be extra supportive, please share them!

Thanks,
Christine

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DH's father died in March. It's a horrible thing to go through and worse when you see your DH in so much pain. If he wants to talk about it he will. Give him time, let him know you're there for him if he needs to talk, cry, shout, laugh...whatever. I wish I could have done more for my DH but there really is nothing you can do but be there for him.

Is his mother alive? How is she handling it? My MIL doesn't drive so it's been hard for DH in that aspect as well.

I'm so sorry for your loss I didn't go through this with DH, but a good friend is going through this with her DH. I attended the funeral about 2 months ago My best friend has lost both parents (dad in elementary school and then mom in middle school when we were learning how to say 'mom' and other family assocations in Spanish class ).

I agree with Jennie, it definitely helps for my friend's DH to get out of the house and do something unrelated to his dad's passing. His dad was ill for a while (alzheimers) but it's always very difficult when a parent dies. With my best friend, although we were much younger it was similar.....doing things without the family that were unrelated to the death of her parents.

I am so sorry for your loss

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I went through this myself last year with the loss of my own father after a long, painful illness full of suffering for not only him but our family. The best thing a spouse (or in my case at the time my fiance) can do is to allow every emotion from sadness to anger to guilt to manifest itself anyway possible. Listen to every word he has to say. Allow every tear and know that with time, the sadness will dissipate into happy memories.

My DH still, just barely over one year later knows just when to hold me when those moments arise. We lost my father just 6 months before the wedding and have had 8 weddings since ours in February. Each and every time I would see the bride walk down the aisle with her father, or dance with her father or see the joy in a father's eyes as he looked at his daughter, it tore me apart. I was angry and envious - but NEVER jealous. DH was there each and every time in anticipation and wiped the tears from my face (as did a few LIW brides and to this day I thank you). You will have to be his strength and if he wants alone time - give it to him.

Again, I am sorry for your loss, but I thought that hearing suggestions from 'the other side' would be just as effective for you.

I know I'm not crashing, but I saw this and wanted to share some and for you and your DH's family.

My FH's grandmother died yesterday too, so I can relate to all the emotions that are swirling around.

Just be there for your husband, and if he's anything like mine, who bottles a lot of it in, get him to talk to you. Share warm, funny memories with one another - get him to smile at these thoughts b/c this is what will keep your FIL's spirit alive.

FM me if you want to talk!

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Is his mother alive? How is she handling it? My MIL doesn't drive so it's been hard for DH in that aspect as well.

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Unfortunately not. She passed away almost 10 years ago. I never met her, but from what I hear she was a great lady.

Be supportive and listen!

I know this will sound weird, but in a week or so, think about making him a homemade dessert. He'll appreciate the effort and know you care.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Christine-- I am so sorry. Please send my regards to your husband.

So sorry to hear this.