My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

introuble Posted: Jan 16, 2005 10:39 AM

My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I logged in as someone different because I am afraid someoneI know might read this. Being married has been a hell and we haven't even made a year. I am miserable and my husband doesn't seem to care. I know that he is under alot of stress. He suffered a loss of a loved one and has started a new job but there is no time for us. His mother takes up the majority of his time. She is very needy. Now that we are married it seems like we are suppossed to be at her house everyday. I like her but not that much! Planning the wedding was very stressful and we fought alot. I feel like I might have ignored warning signs and went ahead with the wedding. Does anyone know of any marriage counselors in Nassau? I am desperate and so unhappy! Thanks for listening. And if anyone has any advice please give!

RedHead Posted: Jan 16, 2005 10:50 AM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

Communication.....counseling

I am sooo sorry you are going through this

MrsERod Posted: Jan 16, 2005 10:57 AM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I am sooo sorry to hear you are not happy! Like Jenn said, communication and counseling is what you guys need. It is so important in any relationship, especially marriage. I hope you can work things out with your DH and let him know how you feel. Get everything out in the open, thats the only way it can ever have a chance of working. Best of luck!!

sophie78 Posted: Jan 16, 2005 10:57 AM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I know a lot of counselors because I am going to be a psychologist. Let me know where in nassau you are and I will give you the names of some.

princess99 Posted: Jan 16, 2005 11:36 AM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I do not know any counslers but wanted to tell u what was said before, lots of communication and listening and I wanted to give you some hugs.

marc_rai Posted: Jan 16, 2005 11:46 AM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

chris605 Posted: Jan 16, 2005 12:18 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I have to agree communitcation is so important....

Crismicka Posted: Jan 16, 2005 12:22 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

Summerbride Posted: Jan 16, 2005 12:47 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

nov.bride Posted: Jan 16, 2005 12:48 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I married into a tight knit family too- it does take adjuustment and compromise. Counseling is definetly a good idea. Just give it a try, I know this is tough.
I hope that you are able to work out your differences. It may take some time to sort out . I hear that the 1st 2 years are the roughest. Maybe your mil is also having a hard time letting go of her baby.

I wish you the best-
We are all here for you

JimmysBride Posted: Jan 16, 2005 12:55 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I'm sorry to hear you are not happy in your new marriage! I think counseling is great idea (though I don't know any, sorry) but maybe even before that you might want to try something else... like Jenn said, it has to do with communication.

Sounds like maybe you and your DH could use a weekend getaway, not so much as a vacation, but as a time to reconnect, communicate, and discuss everything that's going on and how you are both feeling. And... this keeps you away from his mother while you're doing it.

Good luck and keep trying -- you can make this work!

Jola Posted: Jan 16, 2005 01:02 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

Sorry to hear.

laudipop Posted: Jan 16, 2005 01:32 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Try to be patient with your husband--I lost my father a year and a half ago, and I'm still reeling from it. It's possible he feels overwhelmed by all the emotions in his life right now (marriage, death, work stress, his mom's needs). I bet counseling would really help him, not to mention your marriage. What everyone else said is true--it's all about communication. Good luck!

xjulietx Posted: Jan 16, 2005 01:53 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I don't have any recommendations, but I am sure that a few of our board members do. Also, you may want to suggest counseling for your MIL. Was it a relative of hers who died? Was it your FIL or someone close to her like a brother or sister? It sounds like she is very needy now and although your DH may feel obligated to help her, she probably needs some professional help and he needs some freedom to concentrate on your marriage.

I wish you luck in getting your marriage back on track and may you, DH and his mother all find peace in 2005

TracyInQueens Posted: Jan 16, 2005 04:29 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

btrflygrl Posted: Jan 16, 2005 06:18 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

If you call Reflections Associates, they have an office in Smithtown AND Amityville. Great counselors

franksbride Posted: Jan 16, 2005 07:57 PM

Re: My marriage is in trouble please give advice!

I'm so sorry that you are going through this hard time.

Is the loss of a family member the reason why your MIL is so needy right now? If so, then I guess I could understand why the need for the family to spend so much time together. But, also, being a newly married couple you do need to spend some time alone together.

Like the others have said...communication is the key. You need to talk to your DH and tell him how you feel. Let him know that the time not being spent together is taking a toll on your relationship.