need advice/feedback about how to handle 'non-gifter'
I am very hurt by someone who did not give us a gift at the wedding. No it’s not about the gift, it’s the principle of the matter. This is supposed to be my best friend. We have known each other for 12 years. Six years ago she moved to NJ with her family. We speak about once a month & I always have to initiate the contact. She is a real pain in the a$$. When it came to the wedding, she called me up and asked me straight out if she was a BM, I told her no, I am only having my sister & cousins which was the truth. She started talking all big about how she was going to be in touch with my sister to help her with the shower & b-party. The two things my sister asked her to do, she didn’t do. She never RSVP’d for the shower (my sister had to call her repeatedly) & she no-showed to the b-party. For my shower, she asked my sister if there was a wishing well & my sister said no, since they live together already they don’t need those little things so please purchase something off the registry or a gift card. Well she showed up to the shower with a “bag-o-crap.” Her gift was 2 kitchen gift towels & a 2 pack photo albums. I let it slide. I sent her a beautiful thank you card anyway.
A month before the wedding I asked her to do a reading at Church. She was so taken back by it that she started hysterical crying on the phone because she was so happy. I told her to be at the Church at 1:30 (Ceremony started at 2) because the priest was going to let her practice she (surprise, surprise) she couldn’t make the RD. I received a call from her at 12pm as I was taking pictures, she was telling me how beautiful of a bride I was going to be, etc. Well at the ceremony the priest announces her name for the first ready & she wasn’t there. I was so embarrassed, how could she not show up to my wedding?? I didn’t let it bother me & my sister did the reading. I finally find my cell phone after pictures at the Botanical Gardens (4 hours later) & I have a big a$$ text from her explaining how there was soo much traffic. Whatever. I had other family & friends that came from NJ & they made it on time. In the middle of the reception while dancing she wanted to talk to me about it. I politely said this is not the time or place & you are not ruining my wedding. (I really wanted to blow up in her face).
At the wedding we did not have a card box, so everyone had to hand their envelope to DH or I. While on the flight home from Hawaii I asked DH, if he remembered her handing him an envelope & he said he didn’t recall. We get home later that day & we open all the envelopes & there was no card. If you can’t afford a gift she could have at least gave a card.
I do not want to send her a thank you, what’s your opinion??
TIA
A month before the wedding I asked her to do a reading at Church. She was so taken back by it that she started hysterical crying on the phone because she was so happy. I told her to be at the Church at 1:30 (Ceremony started at 2) because the priest was going to let her practice she (surprise, surprise) she couldn’t make the RD. I received a call from her at 12pm as I was taking pictures, she was telling me how beautiful of a bride I was going to be, etc. Well at the ceremony the priest announces her name for the first ready & she wasn’t there. I was so embarrassed, how could she not show up to my wedding?? I didn’t let it bother me & my sister did the reading. I finally find my cell phone after pictures at the Botanical Gardens (4 hours later) & I have a big a$$ text from her explaining how there was soo much traffic. Whatever. I had other family & friends that came from NJ & they made it on time. In the middle of the reception while dancing she wanted to talk to me about it. I politely said this is not the time or place & you are not ruining my wedding. (I really wanted to blow up in her face).
At the wedding we did not have a card box, so everyone had to hand their envelope to DH or I. While on the flight home from Hawaii I asked DH, if he remembered her handing him an envelope & he said he didn’t recall. We get home later that day & we open all the envelopes & there was no card. If you can’t afford a gift she could have at least gave a card.
I do not want to send her a thank you, what’s your opinion??
TIA
