Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
Original post by MaggieLuvsJoe
Some of you may remember me complaining about not wanting to be in my MOHs bridal party bc she was the absolute worst person to me for my wedding, ditched me for my bachelorette 3 hours before it after not even planning it, didn't help for the shower, was basically non-existent.
She's 'marrying' a muslim guy who treats her like garbage. BC of him our relationship has pretty much dwindled, so has her relationship with her family. It's really sad but she's not who she used to be. She asked me to be her MOH before she screwed me over for my wedding and I agreed, since I'm not the type to go back on my word I figured I would follow through. Her wedding is Mem. day wknd. Since she has 2 MOHs I wasn't going to plan her Bachelorette, her niece was taking care of it, but I expected at least an invite....I was invited 3 DAYS BEFORE IT!!! Obviously I didn't go, who the heck does that? My friend knew about her Bach party, I spoke to her 2 days before and she never mentioned it to me. Now I got a txt from her about her rehearsal dinner....a few days before that. I blew up on her saying she obviously doesnt want me included since she keeps letting me know about things at the last minute.
To make a really long story short, this girl always wanted to get married in a church and I was told in confidence by her sister that bc he's muslim, he refuses to have a ceremony in a church so she cancelled the church after the invites went out. Hasnt told the family and will make it seem like the church screwed her over and they can't get married there. Low and behold I get another txt that the church gave her problems her life is in shambles and there isnt going to be a ceremony, just a reception???????????
A reception without a wedding??? Who does that? I told her it's ridiculous, she claimed she got married at city hall.....total bull$hit!!!!
I just found out from her sister that the reason the church won't marry her and the reason city hall won't marry them is bc HE IS ALREADY MARRIED bc he's illegal here!!!!!!!!
She's still going through with the wedding, still hasn't told me the truth, her family is too embarrassed to cancel with everyone so theyre letting the fiasco go on........
Do I even attend??? I can't bring myself to give her a wedding gift when she isn't even having a wedding, just a party!!! Her sis says she's having the reception for the $$$ bc her parents have paid for the whole wedding! I'm in complete shock. WWYD???????
ETA: she even had a bridal shower and I spent $300 on a freaking kitchen-aid....I AM LIVID!! Not to mention $250 on BM dress!!! UGH
meg922
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
This is a really sticky situation and I have no idea what I'd do in your shoes.
I totally understand why you'd be uncomfortable participating in the sham 'wedding' and you'd be totally justified in not attending. But it also sounds like your friend is going to need a lot of support when the &*&%^ hits the fan. She's going to be hurt and humiliated.
KerriJohnS
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe
Posted by MikesBride2B
Posted by KerriJohnS
Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe
Posted by LadyDuda81509
OMG!!!! this is craziness!! he is already married?!?!?!?! did she know this going into the whole thing??!
that is nuts!! i would still go, but i dont know if i would give her a wedding gift...actually i prob would only cuz i feel bad for her parents who are really the ones getting screwed!!! def wouldnt be as much as i would give if she was umm yeah really getting married.
if i were here i would be soo embarrassed!!! if i were here i would not want to go thru with the party!! knowing the reason they cant really get married was cuz he already was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
um does he have any plans on getting a divorce from the previous mysterious marraige??
he can't get divorced bc he's married so he can stay in the country, he's trying to become a citizen and if he divorces it will cause issues. I don't think he's planning on ever marrying my friend. Her family thinks he's taking her for a ride so he can take the wedding $$$ and dump her afterwards. After all, all they are is boyfriend and girlfriend, there is nothing stopping this guy from walking away the next day.
I'm sooo evil... do you ever think about reporting him? I mean to go so far as to have a RECEPTION and a FAKE WEDDING with ANOTHER woman when you are supposed to be married ALREADY and trying to gain citizenship is BEYOND wrong. AND it's ILLEGAL!!!! Couldn't he be deported for that shiz??? Do you really want to put an end to it???....... (devil icon here that we were denied to have)
Sorry to crash...but I TOTALLY agree with this!!!! If you don't want to do it, give me the information and I'LL call INS on this a$$hole!!! We don't need jerks like this as American citizens!!!!!
believe me the thought has crossed my mind but my husband and parents told me to stay out of it bc it's her problem. I wish they would deport his a$$!
well.... if it's not YOU reporting it.....
BriansWifey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
omggggg every about her marriage seems fked up. how do u 'marry' somebody who's already married!? personally, if i found that out i would cancel everything.fck being embarrassed, thats just crazy. and it does seem like ure being invited last minute to everything... i honestly dont think i would go. if u do go, ure a much bigger person than me and don't get her a gift. id be spiteful....
MrsC2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
Posted by luvabul
I dont reallly understand why you have to say...She's 'marrying' a muslim guy who treats her like garbage. Would you have written the same statement that shes 'marrying' a jewish guy who treats her like garbage, or shes 'marrying' a christian guy.....
Any guy can treat a girl like cr@p but the fact that you mention he's muslim kind of says that your implying something. Im only saying this because I actually have 2 friends that are married to muslim guys that have amazing relationships. We go out with the couple all the time. One of the girls converted and shes happy, and the other girl is raising her kids with both faiths, So please dont sterotype!
In addition, she obvioulsy cant get married in a Church, because he's Muslim and the muslim faith dictates that you basically need to have a wedding at the Mosque and theres a certain procedure (similiarly in the jewish faith). So there is no surprise to me there. Your friend is stupid for not discussing this issue with him and sending invites out assuming getting married at the Church was ok. Kind of odd for her to do something like that.
It sounds like your friend is having issues in her relationship which in turn is affecting your friendship. SInce you already spent a lot of money on the kitchen aid and your dress you shouldnt give her a big amount of $ especially with the kind of information her own sister is telling you.... Perhaps a card would suffice.
i dont think she meant it in an offensive way....i think she wrote 'marrying' because shes now just having the reception not actually getting married. and she mentioned he is muslim to explain why they cant get married in that church.
edited to add: yeah i agree that whole situation is crazy and i can totally understand why you wouldnt want to give money and support it when its all a big sham. I would get her like a picture frame or something cheap so you dont go empty handed but i wouldnt give anything big.
gina409
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
this is beyond crazy and after all the crap she has given u i wouldnt go
dolphinlover83
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
That is a crazy situation! If I were you, I would not want to be a part of or witness that. I would get out of it because I can't imagine things going well that day with all of this coming out now!!!
luvabul
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
i think its decided.....::drumroll:: get her a cheap picture frame!!!
caper24
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
Posted by KittyGags
This is ridiculous. I'd sit down and explain to her why you're no longer going to be part of this ridiculousness.
It would be one thing if you just didn't like him and it would be hard to stand next to her on her big day because of it. And it would be another if she was a wonderful friend to you...
But I think shes shown her true colors and I'd be DONE with this, immediately. Talk to her, if she doesn't get it, run and I mean RUN in the other direction.
I agree 100%
luvabul
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
how is your friend doing? any idea? are you on speaking terms with her??
HappyBride22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
Posted by meg922
This is a really sticky situation and I have no idea what I'd do in your shoes.
I totally understand why you'd be uncomfortable participating in the sham 'wedding' and you'd be totally justified in not attending. But it also sounds like your friend is going to need a lot of support when the &*&%^ hits the fan. She's going to be hurt and humiliated.
ITA Whoa!!
NYYankeeGirl72
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need more advice with my a-hole MOH who's getting 'married' - WHAT A FIASCO!
Don't go...don't even bother giving an explanation.
If she is doing this, she doesn't deserve an explanation.
Obviously your friend is just trying to find a way to pay back her family for putting up the $$$. I feel bad for her family.
