Background: Ok so DH & I went out for open mic night last night @ a local bar - for him to play with this new band he's been practicing with. He was totally awesome, we had a lot of fun & I took a ton of pics.
FFW to today: He asks me to upload the pics & send them to him so he can post them on FB. Well apparently he didnt quite like what he saw (physically) of himself & this caused him to go weigh himself (DH has had a lifelong weight battle). He's been on a very restricted diet (and having a cheat weekend on his weekends off & he's still pretty good even when he cheats) He exercises just about every day, has been doing cardio interval training & weights & yet in the past 2 weeks his body fat has stayed the same & he has even gained a pound. This has sent him into a total depression & it's affecting us. I told him maybe it's time to try a nutritionist - he tells me we dont have $$ to do that. I tell him let's go back to the dr & get your thyroid checked again - (I just read an article of a woman whose thyroid test was technically 'normal' but had the slightest imbalance which affected her enegy levels, & metabolism. He refuses to acknowledge that this is the case. (he's had 1 thyroid test already - about 2 or 3 years ago & it was 'normal' - but maybe there is something there that IS slightly off...I feel like it would be worth it to go check it out. But he refuses to acknowledge a 'possibility.'
I also told him that I think the scale might be off b/c he had a few beers last night & ate some food late at night & very early morning, & also didnt weigh himself on an empty stomach 1st thing in the morning. He told me his stomach was empty b/c he just went to the bathroom & he was hungry - to me I dont know if that truly constitutes an empty stomach or not.
So he initally decided he was just going to eat whatever & be happy b/c he was tired of counting calories & doing everything right & still gaining weight. (He does keep a food journal & writes EVERYTHING down that he eats - even if it's a handful of nuts.) He checks his calories burned vs what he eats & he eats about 1200 & burns about 800 - so he doesnt understand why he isnt losing any weight & quite frankly neither do I) A tyipcal guy of my DH's height is supposed to have 3200 calories a day, 2400 if you're trying to lose weight - & my DH is eating 1200. When it's a cheat day he has about 1700-1800.
But I am trying to ask what can I do to help I try to talk to him to help him - but he is pushing me out & away & I am so upset & feel so helpless to see my sweet & wonderful husband struggle through this. I dont know what to do & I am really afraid for him, b/c now he talking about only eating/consuming 800 calories a day & still working out. I know this is NOT healthy whatsoever, but I dont know what else to tell him. He wont even let me hug him or kiss him right now - he says that just makes him feel worse (like Im pitying him ...I just am trying to support him & give him love while he's struggling & I dont know what to do....I really dont.
If you have any advice for him or him or both of us - I would sure appreciate it. I also ask for prayers b/c I have a feeling this is something that is here today & not gone tomorrow. Thanks if you made it this far. & TIA for any advice & prayers.
VickiR510
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Re: Need Prayers & Advice ASAP! (LONG- sorry)
Posted by MrsDrinkh20
Posted by alli3131
Posted by VickiR510
Posted by PoppedInASnap
Laurie, One IMPORTANT thing about alcahol-
When you are working out and dieting, One glass of alcahol will defeat what you did for the day. Something with the muscles... dont remember exactly
Thats why Vin doesnt drink...
hope that makes sense. Vin used to have 3% body fat when I first met him and this was withhim eating hourly and working out.
Because when it dehydrates you, youcould damage muscle mass while working out. But Jenn 3% body fat?? Ar eyou sure thats like almost impossible. Normal body fat for 20/25 year old male is 18%. lol
Yeah I was going to say that it is definitely possible especially for a male if he is strictly dieting and working out.
3% is actually very realistic if he was on a strict diet and working out. My DH has 7%-8% body fat and that is just his genetics.....when he was playing hockey it was much lower.
Oh yeah i guess it is realistic. Its just extremely hard. But i guess duh me it does also depend on your height & frame of course. I certainly didnt mean to come off condescending. Jenny please dont take i tthat way at all. All i can say is DA MN ladies post pics! hahahahahaha.
kmiller
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Re: Need Prayers & Advice ASAP! (LONG- sorry)
MrsJuneB2B
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Re: Need Prayers & Advice ASAP! (LONG- sorry)
you have FM
Tomlaur0808
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Re: Need Prayers & Advice ASAP! (LONG- sorry)
First of all let me start out by saying THANK YOU to all my sweet & wonderful LIW ladies...you guys have been amazing to me & I am SOOOOO grateful to you guys....I have really been so upset about this & like I have said in other posts - I dont really have any close friends up by us since I stopped speaking w/ my MOH & I felt so lost & hopeless yesterday, and was so thankful to have this site & the wonderful friends Ive made through it, as a place to turn for advice & comfort.
That being said, I do want to say thank to Lauren - b/c I did some intensive online searching & found a local nutritionist who is also a chiropractor & takes our ins (which I think is the same as yours- empire/united health I think are 1 & the same) anyway - I am going to call & see when I can get an appt for DH's next day off which is tomorrow- but that might already be booked - so then we will have to shoot for next Wed or Thurs - so we at least have a plan for that. & Ali - thank you for sharing your story w/ the thyroid problem - it helped having you tell me that tests from 2-3 years ago can already be null & void. Plus the tests we've both had in the past were just through a GP not an endo guy - so this way we can get the proper & extensive testing done with the right type of doctor. So when I told DH that he spoke with someone at work whose wife goes to an endo person & she was able to give us a name for a local endo guy who takes our ins - so we are setting up an appt for that as well - & I told DH that when we go to the endo guy that I think we BOTH should get tested since we're both struggling with weight issues right now & at least this way we can either know this is or isnt an issue related to our weight struggle. So I am calling the 2 doctors today to make appt's. Wish us luck & please keep us in prayers.
Marissa - thank you for your suggestion as well - although I dont really know if I can get DH to a support group - maybe if he knows I would go with him that 'might' help. I know he doesnt want to think that he has a 'problem' but I also dont want him to ever be like he was yesterday...SO depressed & down & out. So I am also researching any local free support groups today to see if there are any close enough to join (it sometimes $ucks being in the boonies - on LI I wouldnt have a problem finding something local...oh well - 7 more years till DH retires & then I can bust his butt about moving back to LI )
Thank you so much to everyone. Love you all so much! God Bless each & every one of you!!!
MrsDrinkh20
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Member since
Re: Need Prayers & Advice ASAP! (LONG- sorry)
Posted by Tomlaur0808
First of all let me start out by saying THANK YOU to all my sweet & wonderful LIW ladies...you guys have been amazing to me & I am SOOOOO grateful to you guys....I have really been so upset about this & like I have said in other posts - I dont really have any close friends up by us since I stopped speaking w/ my MOH & I felt so lost & hopeless yesterday, and was so thankful to have this site & the wonderful friends Ive made through it, as a place to turn for advice & comfort.
That being said, I do want to say thank to Lauren - b/c I did some intensive online searching & found a local nutritionist who is also a chiropractor & takes our ins (which I think is the same as yours- empire/united health I think are 1 & the same) anyway - I am going to call & see when I can get an appt for DH's next day off which is tomorrow- but that might already be booked - so then we will have to shoot for next Wed or Thurs - so we at least have a plan for that. & Ali - thank you for sharing your story w/ the thyroid problem - it helped having you tell me that tests from 2-3 years ago can already be null & void. Plus the tests we've both had in the past were just through a GP not an endo guy - so this way we can get the proper & extensive testing done with the right type of doctor. So when I told DH that he spoke with someone at work whose wife goes to an endo person & she was able to give us a name for a local endo guy who takes our ins - so we are setting up an appt for that as well - & I told DH that when we go to the endo guy that I think we BOTH should get tested since we're both struggling with weight issues right now & at least this way we can either know this is or isnt an issue related to our weight struggle. So I am calling the 2 doctors today to make appt's. Wish us luck & please keep us in prayers.
Marissa - thank you for your suggestion as well - although I dont really know if I can get DH to a support group - maybe if he knows I would go with him that 'might' help. I know he doesnt want to think that he has a 'problem' but I also dont want him to ever be like he was yesterday...SO depressed & down & out. So I am also researching any local free support groups today to see if there are any close enough to join (it sometimes $ucks being in the boonies - on LI I wouldnt have a problem finding something local...oh well - 7 more years till DH retires & then I can bust his butt about moving back to LI )
Thank you so much to everyone. Love you all so much! God Bless each & every one of you!!!
IM SO GLAD YOU FOUND ONE!! Please let me know how it goes...i know nutritionists can eithe be great or EH so if you arent happy let me know and ill help you look or recommend some that I know..even out of state! (this has been an issue for me forever so i have a ton of contacts!!)
gina409
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Re: Need Prayers & Advice ASAP! (LONG- sorry)
laurie im no expert on dieting or anything..hence my thighs lol
all i can say is to tell dh that u love him and he needs to be healthy for therest f ur ives and for the children u will have
u can laso tell him that i think he looks quite heathy from the pics i seen
u know me and legs have said hes a hottie
emeraldlover
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Member since
Re: Need Prayers & Advice ASAP! (LONG- sorry)
Hey there, I don't post often but I think I might be able to offer some advice.
First, I am hypothyroid. I probably have been for almost 10 years now. Research shows that it can take 20 years for a thyroid problem to show up in the standard TSH test. So, before you see an endo and waste your time and money check out the doctors first and see if any of them do a TRH test or are willing to treat boderline disorders.
I would consider myself to be one of those with a almost 20 year weight problem. I've always been small but my weight will fluxuate about 20lbs every couple of years. Also, For about 10 years now (since college), I've had high cholesterol. It's very strange becuase I am a very healthy eater and I exercize about 5 days a week most weeks. The only reason my endo took me seriously was because of the choleserol, not what I percieved to be a weight problem.
For two years now I have been on Armour. I've had my ups and downs with weight that usually are related to the dose that I am on. Right now I'm a little slow and about 7lbs heavier than I like to be. It's depressing because once on the medication I still have to keep up my 5day workouts and eat healthy or the weight won't come off. It's not a magic diagnosis but it is helpful to know what is going on.
I know what it is like to be on the constant weight rollercoaster and it is no fun. The thing is that you have to stay positive and keep up the work.
Another thing...some research has shown that people that eat a limited calorie diet for long periods of time can depress their thyroid function. Therefore, I do not suggest taking any diet information from anyone other than a registered dietician after you have seen an endo.
Research has also shown that certian thyroid patients eat 800 calories a day and don't go into 'starvation mode'. I'm not sure what I believe myself but I will tell you this. Losing weight is about creating an energy deficit where the body is comfortable losing weight. People that have a lower BMR can can restrict more calories than others that have a faster metabolism. Your body needs a certian number of calories to survive and while 1200 is what most people recommend I've never seen any research to support that the minute that you dip below it you autimatically begin to store. This could be a really drawn out paragraph. The bottom line is that I can not tell you what that number is for myself or your DH. What I can tell you is that everything is about consistency. So...if you eat under that number your body needs to survive for an extended period it can effect you. The tricky part is figuring out that number. Even with a thyroid dissorder I eat between 1300-1500 most days.
What I have learned about myself is that no matter how hard I try I naturally burn less calories in the winter. I would imagine that my metabolic rate slows as well. So, I accept it and step up my workouts and make sure that I limit the treats I allow myself in the winter. It stinks but eventhough you something works for you at one point in your life you may needs to make adjustments down the line.
Lastly...when I am struggling with my weight the biggest thing I need to do is work on what is between my ears. Sadly its the thoughts in my head that need the work. This is the problem with being a sucessfull type A. I can't stand failing.
