Newlywed $$ question

Hi Ladies! I usually don't ask financial advice, but I have a question and I need input.

I recently found out that I was supposed to receive a raise from my night job last year and I am due retroactive pay. DH and I both have the same night job and so he was there with me when I opened my letter from payroll explaining how much more money I would be receiving.

When DH saw it, he told me that the money could go towards our mortgage.

I know that it would be wise to put the money towards our condo, but part of me resents the fact that DH assumed that the money instantly became ours and not mine. This is money that I shoud have received last year and I didn't.

Doesn't this mean part of it should be mine to spend as I wish?

Am I overreacting and should I just put the check in our shared acct?

Re: Newlywed $$ question

I recently received an unexpected bonus for past performance and I decided to put the majority of it towards 'our' bills and kept a little over a grand for myself

I figured the house, wedding, etc. is for me too and I know he would do the same. As long as I got to buy myself a little congrats present or 2 I was happy

Re: Newlywed $$ question

If the tables were turned, I would be hurt if my DH said it's my money since I was due it last year and we weren't married yet. Not because he wanted to spend it himself, but more of them Mine and Yours things. I think if there is something that you wanted to spend it on, then you should tell your DH that you were hoping you'd be able to use if for x & y. I don't know how much it is, but if it's not that much then it's not going to break the bank if you don't use it on the condo. But if it's a couple of thousand then I think you should split it how you think it's fair. I guess, my advice is think about how you'd feel if it was the other way around.

Good luck!

Re: Newlywed $$ question

I would consider it our money but since it's 'found' money I would probably want to do something a little frivalous with it like get something for the house that was outside the budget a bit or go away over night or something like that.

Re: Newlywed $$ question

How about you take 1/2 and the rest goes to the mortgage?

I totally understand your point - I rec'd some extra $$ from work also and that's what we did.

I'm still getting used to sharing my money

Re: Newlywed $$ question

We share all of our money. My DH recently won some money in a football pool and always referred to it as 'ours.'

Re: Newlywed $$ question

I think any money that either of us makes is 'ours'. Not every couple works that way so it depends on how you two do things. But as far as Im concerned, what is mine is his and vice versa.

That said, I dont think there is anything wrong with taking a small portion and buying yourself something.

Re: Newlywed $$ question

I consider all of our money ours, but that's probably b/c I'm a student and have no income, so all we have is his income. I can definitely see things like birthday money being specifically yours or his. As far as your paycheck, I think you should discuss how to spend it. Tell him if you want to buy something specific with some of it. Then maybe you can put the rest toward the mortgage.

Re: Newlywed $$ question

I do think of our money as ours and probably will spend some of this money on our home, but it is only $500 (the job is part time 6 hours a week so they didn't owe me that much)

I guess I was bugged by the fact that I wasn't even given a chance to express what I would like to do with MY paycheck, he has already spent it.

It is not THAT much money.


In my defense, neither my day job or night job give year end bonuses and DH usually gets 2K or so for the holidays. He also just got a promotion and 12K raise. I feel like he makes more money to begin with, why can't I just enjoy my measily $500??

Re: Newlywed $$ question

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Posted by xjulietx

I do think of our money as ours and probably will spend some of this money on our home, but it is only $500 (the job is part time 6 hours a week so they didn't owe me that much)

I guess I was bugged by the fact that I wasn't even given a chance to express what I would like to do with MY paycheck, he has already spent it.

It is not THAT much money.


In my defense, neither my day job or night job give year end bonuses and DH usually gets 2K or so for the holidays. He also just got a promotion and 12K raise. I feel like he makes more money to begin with, why can't I just enjoy my measily $500??

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juliet i think you should keep the money and buy something nice for either the house or yourself or both. i agree that money should be shared in a marriage but i think you should also have your own money as well. i think since its only 500.00 and not 5 million i dont see anything wrong with you wanting to spend it on something fun . life cant all be about paying the bills and being serious all the time sometimes you just need to do something crazy. :

Re: Newlywed $$ question

$500 in the end probably won't make a dent in the mortgage, I say carpe diem baby!!

Re: Newlywed $$ question

my dh and i always share our money....i won money in the past when we were just dating and i gave him half. not to mention i was going to school and didnt work for years bcuz i had to intern during the day and night classes at night. he took well care of me. he paid for the entire wedding himself!! i am forever grateful to him!!