Newlywed question 3/21

OK we all know sharing your bank account is hard, and changing your name and getting used to being called by a new name is hard.

With the exception of those two what was the hardest new thing for you being a married lately.


For me it was the not being able to leave when I want. When I am upset I need to drive and get near water. I guess it was the growing up by the water for me it's calming. When I get upset like that I just want to go. For DH it was hard to understand I just couldn't talk to him right away I need to do that first.

Anyone else want to share?

Right now my biggest annoyance is that he is MESSY. AND does not pick up his clothes....

I feel guilty about the time I spend surfing the 'net. And I am a slob- it's been hard for me to change. I feel so bad whenever DH goes in to wash the dishes because usually I am the one who leaves the mess. But I am trying to rectify that.

We'll be moving into our house soon and money will be tighter. I am anticipating some clashes over buying stuff for the house. I think we both know saving is important, but I am a 'half full' and he is a 'half empty' in that regard.

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Posted by RedHead

Right now my biggest annoyance is that he is MESSY. AND does not pick up his clothes....

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Same here. I knew this before we were married because we lived together but it's just so hard to keep up with everything so the house is messy too often for my liking.

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Posted by swags1016

For me it was the not being able to leave when I want. When I am upset I need to drive and get near water. I guess it was the growing up by the water for me it's calming. When I get upset like that I just want to go. For DH it was hard to understand I just couldn't talk to him right away I need to do that first.

Anyone else want to share?

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Oh, this is so me!! When we first got married, and thus starting living together, I really felt a a lack of 'where to go' when I was mad. There was no more I'm just going to go home like there was when we were dating. We had a fight yesterday and I staqrted packing my stuff up to go to the gym because it was the only place I could think of (we don't have a car) and I figured I might as well turn some of that anger into burnt calories

I don't like having to get his approval on stuff when it comes to spending money. I want to get a deck built on the townhouse, because it's pretty dark inside and we don't have a big backyard (it's like 12'x12').
I really need fresh air. I can't stand being cooped up inside the house. It's very depressing for me. DH doesn't feel that way though. He's more than happy to sit inside all day watching sports or playing video games. He'll let a totally beautiful day go by, never stepping foot out of the house

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Posted by Anniegrl

I don't like having to get his approval on stuff when it comes to spending money. I want to get a deck built on the townhouse, because it's pretty dark inside and we don't have a big backyard (it's like 12'x12').
I really need fresh air. I can't stand being cooped up inside the house. It's very depressing for me. DH doesn't feel that way though. He's more than happy to sit inside all day watching sports or playing video games. He'll let a totally beautiful day go by, never stepping foot out of the house

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That would be mine too. If I want to buy something new for the house or yard I feel like I have to ask him first, but he NEVER thinks we need anything new. So we wind up fighting about it until I get my way.

For me it's living in HIS apartment. I know it isn't forever so I try and not change too much, but having a sports theme bedroom, living and dining room is killing me.

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Posted by usuk2004

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Posted by swags1016

For me it was the not being able to leave when I want. When I am upset I need to drive and get near water. I guess it was the growing up by the water for me it's calming. When I get upset like that I just want to go. For DH it was hard to understand I just couldn't talk to him right away I need to do that first.

Anyone else want to share?

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Oh, this is so me!! When we first got married, and thus starting living together, I really felt a a lack of 'where to go' when I was mad. There was no more I'm just going to go home like there was when we were dating. We had a fight yesterday and I staqrted packing my stuff up to go to the gym because it was the only place I could think of (we don't have a car) and I figured I might as well turn some of that anger into burnt calories

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Farah maybe I need to start thinking the same way you do and then maybe I can get back to being a size 6 (well after baby and major dieting )

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Posted by wood2be

For me it's living in HIS apartment. I know it isn't forever so I try and not change too much, but having a sports theme bedroom, living and dining room is killing me.

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Yuck JoAnne I wouldn't like that either

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Posted by wood2be

For me it's living in HIS apartment. I know it isn't forever so I try and not change too much, but having a sports theme bedroom, living and dining room is killing me.

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When DH and I first moved in together, I moved into his place and we had a huge Knicks blanket hanging behind our bed, plus various movie posters and sports memorabilia in the bedroom along with a full-size Mortal Combat arcade game which I used as my night stand!

We lived there together for only 7 months (thankfully) but to his credit, when I was at work one day he hung four of my pooh lithographs in the living room.

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Posted by swags1016

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Posted by wood2be

For me it's living in HIS apartment. I know it isn't forever so I try and not change too much, but having a sports theme bedroom, living and dining room is killing me.

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Yuck JoAnne I wouldn't like that either

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Thanks for the sympathy
Did I mention it's all Red Sox's and Bruins memorabelia

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Posted by halloweenbride04

Right now, it's the fact that I don't think he pitches in enough with the household chores.

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This I have to agree with.

the hardest thing for me has been learning to sleep with him tossing and turning next to me. he's one of those people that takes forever to fall asleep, but he can't lie still. it drives me bezerk!!!

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by swags1016

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Posted by wood2be

For me it's living in HIS apartment. I know it isn't forever so I try and not change too much, but having a sports theme bedroom, living and dining room is killing me.

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Yuck JoAnne I wouldn't like that either

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Thanks for the sympathy
Did I mention it's all Red Sox's and Bruins memorabelia

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Red sox burn baby burn!

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by swags1016

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Posted by wood2be

For me it's living in HIS apartment. I know it isn't forever so I try and not change too much, but having a sports theme bedroom, living and dining room is killing me.

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Yuck JoAnne I wouldn't like that either

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Thanks for the sympathy
Did I mention it's all Red Sox's and Bruins memorabelia

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You poor girl!!!! We are fans of opposite teams, so there was no way I was wiling to budge when it came to sports memorabilia .. we both aren't allowed to hang anything from our respective teams

ETA: really the biggest change was just general compromising on nearly everything - I lived on my own and alone for a long time, so it was really hard to somehow feel like I was 'losing' my freedom to a point.. simple things like how to spend our weekends, giving each other our space, etc..

This week it is money and how we spend it. We're trying to budget ourselves and he's contantly asking me what I spent this week, why I bought that and it's driving me insane. I know he doesn't neccessarily care that I spend $$$ but I hate having the discussion all the time.
The last few weeks though it's been helping around the house, picking up after himself, cleaning things he sees are dirty - that kind of stuff.
But mostly it's been a major adjustment just not living with my parents and having to be responsible for bills, meal planning, shopping, dry cleaners, cleaning, ironing and such. That's been my MAJOR adjustment that I have to get used too ... him too. So that's where the disagreements have come from - who does what and when and how. We're both learning to 'keep house' so to speak.