Newlywed stress!

It is no secret that we are trying to move. We currently live in my basement apartment in my grandfather's house. However there is no real privacy, I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry etc..for my grandfather. We always eat the three of us. We have only been married for 5 weeks and we are very tense at home. We need our own place, but it wasnt possible. We paid for our whole wedding (flowerfield is amazing, but not cheap). SO now we are searching for a condo. I am tempted to just buy anything so we can be on our own. I am not feeling the newlywed bliss because it is so stressful around here. I dont want to buy the first thing I see, but I am so tempted to just buy something so hubby and I can really start our life together. Did anyone else go through this? Thanks for letting me vent!

My husband works in the city a lot. He is always traveling to different courts. So, we are limited to probably nassau or western suffolk county. There is not much to choose from, that is not horribly expensive.

I found a lovely place in coram, the amenities are fabulous too. I am a teacher with a lot more time off. So the amenties are great for me. But the commute is horrible for him. It will make his day a lot longer. He thinks we wont see each other enough.

So, I have been looking around a lot. I never realized how hard it would be to find a place. Anyway I know we will find something eventually, I just hope the stress of living in my grandfathers house doesnt kill me first.

I can relate to your stress. We will be married a year in June and have a 2 1/2 year old son and we live in an aprtment in my parents house. The only bonus is a live-in babysitter and use of the washing machine.

The best advice I can give you is not to buy the first thing you see just to get out. You will be more frustrated b/c it is not perfect for you. Keep searching - there is something out there for you and you will find it eventually.

christy...have you thought about the forest hills area...I know that you don't list queens as where you are looking...but it is a fantastic neghborhood...very convenient to everything...and I know they have studios at or around $50K...and one BRs for around the $100K mark...


if you look in Rego Park...1 mile down the road...still great area...they are a little cheaper (local subway as opposed to the express)

Christy- I give you SO MUCH credit for doing what you do for your grandfather. Thats SOOO great that you are there for him But Im sure that living with anyone outside of DH can be stressul to anyone that is newly married.

Dont move just to get out. If you DO, then rent until you find something that you can invest in.
Maybe you can start by writing things down that you are looking for in a home: Location, price, school districts, distance to jobs, family, etc.

Try to stick it out so that you find a home you really love and everything else will work out.

BIG HUGS !

Thanks ladies! You are the best!

Christy
What did your Grandfather do before you moved in? Have you spoken to him about your need for a little privacy? Maybe you can get him involved in senior activities. It sounds like he needs some company. Maybe it will relieve some of the stress if he gets out on his own a bit.

Real Estate is too high to be rushing into buying something right now. You really need to take some time and look around. Have you thought about Great Neck / Little Neck or Douglaston. There are lots of Co-ops and the commute to NYC is very good.

Good Luck

Sorry you are not feeling the newlywed bliss, but in time. We moved before b/c I know how I would have felt after if we didn't. I hope you and hubby find something really soon.

Can you talk to your parents about coming over 2 nights a week and taking your grandpa out for dinner or to their home? Do you pay rent to live with grandpa? I guess I see this a bit differently. If you were always doing all the cleaning, cooking, shopping for grandpa why did you think that would change when you got married or is this part of the deal to live there? Who will care for grandpa after you move?
I think your parents need to help you get some privacy. I am sure your grandpa is lonely and so grateful to have you there. Perhaps you and DH can go out, even to a diner, for dinner once a week too. That will help get you some additional privacy.
being a newlywed isn't just about privacy. It is really about starting your own traditions. maybe a date night can help you.

Christy, have you thought about just renting another place for the time being...maybe a 6 month lease? That way you can move out of your grandfather's house and not feel the pressure to buy something right away when you might wind up settling for something you really aren't 100% happy with. Then you will have your privacy and it will make condo shopping a fun and exciting experience compared to one out of desperation to have your own place.