Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
MarcellaBella
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Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
FH and I have been living together for 3 years this December.. (we just had our 3 yr. anniversary on 5/7, and we moved in with each other after having dated only 2 1/2 months)
When I speak to people they tell me, 'things will change when you get married' and when I ask them, well it's already as though we're married, they say it's different and things will change..
Now, I don't mind change, if it's for the better, but I'm kind of getting anxious and a bit afraid of what this 'change' or the 'difference' will be..
have any of your relationships changed after having gotten married? could you shed some light perhaps what this 'change' or 'difference' is? any tips?
Thanks!
Valenia
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
I also lived with my husband for four years before the wedding. I think things did change for the better. I would describe the difference as a quiet confidence that comes with being married.
There are also significant external benefits -- saying 'my husband' commands a great deal more respect. Your boss will be much more sympathetic on the days you come into work tired because 'your husband' was sick the night before as opposed to that guy you live with.
Sassyz75
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
I think for people that lived together for some time things aren't so different after the wedding.. However, for me there was a big change because we didn't live together, share bills, plan together, etc.
Niecey
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
So many people kept telling me that. It is annoying. I don't think people realize that many of us have been dating so long, living on our own for so long and even living together that marriage doesn't change much for everyone. Things haven't changed much for me at all. I think if one of us lived at home or something things may be different.
I do feel that I do have added responsibilities and no free time lately but also think it is part of growing up and buying a house more than marriage.
Our personal relationship hasn't changed at all - if it has it is just that we have gotten even closer.
Samanthas Mom
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
I dont think it changes if you lived together
Samanthas Mom
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
oh and marcella, where are the pics of those puppies
Teri
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
I really do think it's different for everyone, but we lived together beforehand for 3 yrs and to my surprise things did change after the wedding. I really didn't think they would, but there's a unique closeness and unity that's there now - don't get me wrong, we always felt very close together and have been best friends since '97, but it's still different now. We feel like an official family now, which is an amazing feeling!!
JoRo
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
i don't really think things have changed. but i have noticed that there was a real let down for me after the wedding. it has been 4 weeks, and i would say i am just starting to get back (although i am still on LIW instead of working! )
the only relationship 'difference' if you will is that quiet confidence that i feel now. but i think this is mostly how society treats me different now that i am a married woman as opposed to someone who is shacking up! (sad but true).
our relationship has not changed at all!! so don't worry about it!!!!!!!!!! just focus on the wedding and enjoy the process from here on in. It will be awesome!
MarcellaBella
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
Whew!!! thanks girls.. I was starting to get nervous lol So the difference is good...
Tammy, I have them at home.. I will DEF email them to myself tonight!! promise!!! they are soo adorable!
NovemberSue
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
We lived together before we were married. I don't really notice any changes except for the better. There is such a nice feeling knowing that he is your husband and you are his wife. I feel a stronger bond between us.
teresa518
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
I also lived with DH before we were married. I don't think much was different but agree about the quiet confidence you gain.
You don't change as people. The same silly things we always argued about continue, however, there seemed to be a newfound respect and confidence between us. It was like a renewal of our love for each other.
christine1221
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
People said that to me too. I don't think things really changed for us. We say that we were married in our hearts long before Dec. 21st.
michele31
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
For people NOT living together there is a huge change and adjustment period. I think if you already live together than you are already doing many of the 'married' life stuff such as house chores, bills, not living with parents. I lived with Scott for 1.5 years before we got married and honestly there is not much change at all. We were happy then, we are happy now. We still fight over the fact that I have tooo many of the household responsiblities on my shoulders- we did then too. And he still helps when I ask him- as he did before. We love each other and are very committed to each other. I think the difference is now we have beautiful photos to 'prove' our committment and a video.
susans
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
Most of it stayed the same and any changes were for the better.
I got all those warnings about how 'the first year is the hardest' and all that nonsense. We're having a ball, it hasn't even been remotely difficult. We lived together for a little over a year.
As you can see from the responses on here, it all depends on who you ask. Don't worry about it and stop listening to those people. They're just trying to freak you out.
shamma
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
Let's see what has changed, I do way more housework, the same arguments, but now I tend to say, guess what forget it, I have him now for the rest of my life, I will get him for it tomorrow
The confidence in knowing that we are committed in this thing called marriage. People call the house now have a different respect for me, 'his friends' I guess that's it.
Stef28
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
Another vote for 'things didn't change much and only for the better'.
My DH and I lived together for 2 years before our wedding. We even bought a house together before we were engaged (he was planning the proposal and I sort of new it was coming). For us living together just clicked really well and then being married just made it all even better.
We became closer and it was such an intimate feeling know we were husband and wife. We were already a team but the wedding sealed the deal and knew we were in it together.
So don't fret -- things might change -- and there might be some adjustment -- but I don't think it's like so many out there try to scare you into believing it is.
Have a wonderful wedding and the start to a beautiful life with your husband.
LisaT
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
we still can't believe we're actually married, so I would say thing haven't changed much.
I do agree you do feel a deeper sense of togethness and its wonderful to feel like a family, rather than separate entities. The biggest change I noticed was how people react to us. People treat you and your relationship differently once your married.
Don't worry - its all good!
janatlantica
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
Nothing changed for us and we lived together for a while prior to the wedding. The only thing that changed is that I really like saying, 'My husband......'
jennbaby
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
I cant see how. I am not married yet (4 more days) but we live together for over 2 yrs. I don't think things will be any different
JennRenee
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Re: Not sure if this has been asked but.. Do things really *change* after your married?
I disagree that there is a big change for those who didn't live together. We didn't officially live together until 3 months before the wedding, and even then, it was in my parent's house. BUT after being together for 6.5 years prior to the big day and having him spent 4 or 5 nights a week at my house, not much changed after the wedding. The only change I noticed was, as someone else said, a closer bond and a stronger feeling of unity.
