Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

Tis the season to be jolly, right? WRONG!!

OK here's my dillema,

We got married in October and Brians cousin and his new wife didnt show to our wedding. We went to theirs (in july) and gave a gift, a small one, but a gift. I was upset. Their thank you notes come out and the envelope is addressed to Mr & Mrs Brian H. The thank you is written out to Brett and Lauren (brett is Brians TWIN brother that looks NOTHING alike anymore.) Even more Pi$$ed. THEN--- His side of the family does secret Santa.. GUESS WHO WE HAVE.. His cousin...

What do we do??? I really dont want to give him anything.. I honestly feel that since he didnt have the B@!!s to call and tell us that he fogot about a competitiopn he was supposed to participate in (that you must register for MONTHS in advance) I should have the B@!!s to not give him a gift!! We didnt make a lot on our wedding.. And throuhg the planning we still managed to give him at least $100.. (55 dollar crystal frame and $50 bill in frame with poem I wrote!)

HHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

Ok.. so right now I only had four people give their votes... Brian thinks we should be the 'Better' couple and give him an X-Mas gift.. I say we lready gave them their gift. What do I say to my DH that will show him how I feel?

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

I am sorry- I don't see how you can participate in a secret santa and not show up with a gift.

Maybe get him something cheap from odd job or something that he won't know the price of?

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

You absolutely have to give him a gift. You gave him a wedding gift, not a secret santa gift.

Yes, he made some mistakes with the thank you and it would have been nice if he had given you a gift/attended your wedding. But thats in the past. You drew his name, he gets a gift.

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Posted by 2003OCT10

We didnt make a lot on our wedding..

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that's irrelevant. Its not a fundraiser, its a wedding.

Obviously you have issues with this guy, and its unfortunate that you drew his name, but not getting him a gift just makes you look bad and gets him sympathy. Be the bigger person - doesn't need to be a great gift. But you do need to get him something.

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

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Posted by Sunny

I am sorry- I don't see how you can participate in a secret santa and not show up with a gift.

Maybe get him something cheap from odd job or something that he won't know the price of?

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Ditto

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

If it were me, I would want to get out of the Secret Santa then. It isnt about the Thank you note, but to not show up for your wedding? Maybe it is just me, be I want nothing to do with people that didnt show up at my wedding.

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

I think you should 're-gift'!!! Come on you've got to have something in the closet!!! (j/k)

I agree, I guess you can't show up without anything...I would get a little something...(from K-Mart! )

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

I know we should... but I feel that he didnt even have the courtesy to call us and tell us that him and his new wife had a body building competition in MAINE?!?!?! Its not something that just 'happens'... to participate in a competition you need to register... HE IS BRIANS COUSIN.. not a friend or a parents friend... I know its in the past but... Seriously.. what do I give him???

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

Definelty don't spend alot of $$ on the gift. What about a cd or dvd?

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

a blockbuster gift card

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

the weddings and the secret santa are two totally separate things - I don't think you should get him something over the top but it would be totally wrong to ruin the spirit of secret santa and the holidays by dragging his lack of ettiquite into this. Be the bigger person.

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

Ok.. You'll all be proud of me... I wen up to the Christmas tree shop in Spring Valley NY today and found a 12.99 car vacuum. Thats what I decided to get him.. Oh, and some aromatherapy (RELAX) airfreshnrss, because he's a teacher! I decided the same thing you all and Meghan said it perfectly...

I am still really hurt by all of this. I just fear not being able to be fake and like nothings wrong with the fact he didn't have the decency to call. I know I have to let it go... but its like... Its FAMILY... Thats so messed up.... Thank you all for your help!

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

A secret santa is supposed to be like getting a gift for everyone (b/c someone else has you, etc..) So if you get one person a crappy gift (no matter the reason) its like telling everyone else that you didnt care enough to do your best.

Presumeably there were lots of other people at your wedding who were very generous to you, etc...so not putting 110% into the Secret Santa seems like a slap in the face to everyone in my opinion.

Re: Ok newlyweds.. I need your help!

How about another picture frame? Can you re-gift something from your wedding?