OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

I am soooooooooo angry right now!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! This early and im so ****ed....I need to vent big time!

I have vented about this friend before and right now I am livid! She is single and lives the single life. She has no responsibilites, no one to answer to, goes out all the time and drives me nuts! When she used to go out, she would never ask me to go anywhere..she had her own group of friends and I was left out which was fine cause I was more into planning my wedding and focusing on my future. Now all of a sudden, when I have more responsibilities than ever before, she asks me all the time to go out and get drunk. Now she is the type of person who goes out and drinks and goes home with a guy. I am not into that. If thats her life than fine, I dont judge, but it is not mine.

So anyway, she asks me to go out tonight. I cant go, I have other things to do. My husband has been working over time like mad and I havent even spent time with him. So i tell her that although I would like to get together, I cant. She tells me that she cant deal with me anymore, that im ridiculous, and that she doesnt have time for me. I tell her that my life has changed a little bit and I have other responsibilities now and she says WHATEVER, tell me she doesnt have time for my bs and signs off aim!!!!!!!!!!

OMG...I am so mad!!!!!!!!! She never asks me to go out for dinner or go shopping (unless she has no one else to go with and needs me) she just wants to go hang in bars. I understand shes not married, I understand shes in a different stage of life and I never say anything to her about anything. I just understand. She even had the balls to tell me that my mom should be over her grief of her fiance cause its been 3 months...ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

This is the same friend that laughed at some of my proofs and many of you told me that she is jealous. I think im cutting this friendship today. IM hesitating to call her cause I know that I will go off on her so bad! And like I posted to Dubliner yesterday, with my irish temper, sometimes I cant control it....

What should I say to her? Am i wrong? Isnt a friend just supposed to understand?? I dont technically agree with her lifestyle but I try never to hurt her. She thinks life is so easy for me, that the adjustment of marriage is just easy as anything..she says im too close with my family and that I need to leave my mom alone..I am sorry, I disagree...

Any feedback? Any opinions? I am so upset right now!

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

You can't have a resonable discussion with a person like that. She thinks she's right, and won't even try to see your point of view.
What I would do (which isn't necessarily the best or smartest thing) is just close the door on the friendship for a while, possibly longer. No explanations, no confrontations, just cut it off.

Good luck!

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

Say nothing. There is no need to have a big blowout. She has made it clear that she is not your friend, just eliminate from your life starting today.

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

Unfortunately I agree with Stef and Jenn.
She needs some silent treatment to think about what she's done. Kinda like a time-out for a child.




Noreen

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

I agree with Stef.
Sounds like she pretty much wrote you off anyway. No sense chasing her down. Sounds like the friendship's been long dead anyway.
Sorry. I know it still s**ks.

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

I agree with the other girls. If you are thinking that you would like to end this friendship, I say just walk away. It may be a release to yell at her, but nobody wins in the long run when that is done.

I have a similar friend living a similar life. She has always gone out to bars and chased guys and I never went, it was never my think and I don't drink. We still talk but it is less than before. We also come from two different worlds. When my father died (a few weeks before your mother's fiance did, and it was two weeks before my wedding) she offered condolences but did not really try to console or comfort. She was very removed and it's not because she didn't know how or what to do. Right now, I am just keeping contact with her and chatting now and then. As of right now she hasn't called me back in a week and a half and hasn't returned my email. This has happened a few times before through the years though. I think we could be closer if our lives were more similar though I don't think she would ever feel I was on par with her (financially from her family).

I wish you the best with this and hope it works out in the best in the end. Please let us LI Weddings ladies know if you want to chat.

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

Sometimes friendships just need to end - you are on two different wavelengths and your lives seem to be headed in different directions. Eliminate this toxic friend from your life. And just like Stef said - ignore her.

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

I'm with the other girls...

just to let you know...one of my bf and I were in a similar situation as you were...she was uber single and I was in love...we found other ways to hang out...happy hour...and dinners...and movies...

but she would still go out (with or with out me )


now that she has met the man she will probably marry (they've moved in)...she told me she understands why I constantly wanted to be with DH....b/c now she feels that way about someone...


I think thee are ways to remain friends even if you are changing...but I don't think your friend wanted to change...

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

You don't need a 'friend' like that, and I don't think you should stress yourself out any more by confronting her .. however, this is coming from a person who totally hates confrontations.

Don't make any concrete decisions of whether you are going to end the friendship or try to keep it going .. just leave it alone and let it figure itself out.

I can totally sympathize with you .. because I've had friendships strained simply because of my working situations .. basically my work leaves me no time for hanging out .. it's amazing that I ever found a man willing to put up with this!

Anyway .. I've stressed over friendships .. and the thing is .. you can't stress about that stuff .. friendships just find a way of working out.

A true friendship will endure the bumps and potholes along the road of life.

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

Just based on what she said about your mom I would not want her in my life. Of course that is easier said then done, but you need to do what is best for you. She is probably very jealous that you are married and at a different stage in your life. I would not call her for a while and let her think about her actions. Friendships need to grown, just like all relationships and if she is not willing to do that she is not a true friend.

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

This person doesn't sound at all like a friend! I agree with Stef just cut her off

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

Some people stink. I learned a lot when I was planning my wedding, who was my friend and not. I had a similar situation and Rob asked me to just forget about her. She was making me crazy and being so petty. It's a longer story ... but I do feel bad and will ask a mutual friend how she is doing. But I have to say, my life is so much less stressful without her around.

Re: OMG..I am so upset right now..repost from nwr..

I'm sorry your friend turned out to be such a disappointment. My BF did the same to me. I've told the story on the boards a few times, but basically she sounds like your friend.

I think people like that are users. They only call or come around when they need you. When they get a boyfriend, they drop you like a hot potato. When YOU get a boyfriend, they get jealous. Forget it if you get engaged or married! They completely flip their wigs because it isn't THEM getting married. They show their jealousy by putting you down, avoiding you, or twisting things around to make you look like the bad friend. That extends to your wedding too. That's probably why she laughed at your proofs. Jealousy.

Good friends are loyal and understanding of each other. When one has a relationship and the other doesn't, they still find ways to spend time together, even if it's just renting a movie and talking. Too bad most girls can't seem to find a way to do this...

This girl sounds like a jealous, selfish, taker and troublemaker you are better off without her.

It's always hard to admit that someone we're close to and care about is not who we thought they were, or hoped they would be. The longer the friendship, the harder it is to admit. And it hurts when you've given so much only to have them slap you in the face, but it's better that she's out of your life.

People like that have issues that go deeper than a simple heart-to-heart will straighten out.