Opinions needed: When should I tell my boss that I'm quitting??

I'm posting this here instead of hte parenting board because I want as many honest opinions as possible. I'm due in mid-June, my boss recently asked what my maternity leave plans are so I just told him I'll be gone for 3 months, most of the summer. I feel really bad, b/c I already know that's not true and I'll be quitting by the beginning of June. I've only been here for 11 months and I'm waiting for my probation to be over at the end of February before I take the chance to tell him that I'll be leaving.

My original plan was to give about 3-4 weeks, instead of the usual 2, just so that we're on good terms and so that they can train someone else. Now, I'm thinking that when I tell them, they're going to know that I knew all along that I wasn't planning on staying. I don't want my boss to think 'why did I hire her, I knew she was getting married, I should of known, etc, etc'. So, should I tell him earlier, like by April? I have heard that giving a lot of notice can be bad too.

I'm planning on being pretty honest with him and saying, 'it's a really hard decision, I just finished my Master's and I really like working here, I can picture myself staying here for years' (which is all true, it is an internal personal conflict about dropping my career to be a SAHM, but for me it's what I want to do for at least a year).

Is it really unprofessional to just give 3 weeks notice when I will know all along? Do you think I should tell him sooner? I don't like lying, I've been treated very nicely here.

Thanks!

First let me ask you....do you get any maternity leave pay from them when you are on your leave? If so, I would not tell them until you are scheduled to go back to work.

If you are not entitled to any pay or benefits, then I would, if I was you, give them 3-4 weeks notice. You are not required to give more than 2 weeks....3-4 is a gift to some employers!

Good Luck!

Im in HR and have been for about 1,000,000 years. From the employer side I Always advise our manager to take a wait and see approach to staff on ML because you never know what will happen.

We have had staff who say they are leaving want to come back and staff who say they will be back, need the money, just starting their career etc. never return.

So in short, I would wait and not worry about it. I am sure your employer will understand.

I think 3 weeks even 4 is very nice of you to give.
I dont think Nina that your boss will get upset thinking that 'you knew all along'
Maybe you can say something like ' I have been doing alot of thinking and I JUST decided that I wont be returing to work'
Will it affect your job for the next few months if you told them now?
If it doesn't then I would just tell them, the sooner the better..might take alot of the pressure off you to come out with it..

Either way, 3 weeks is definitly a considerable amount of time to give notice

Good luck

Although, I do not have any personal experience with this.....but if you say you are quitting before maternity leave, do you still get paid for those 3 months?

If it were me, I would give notice when I got back & give 3-4 weeks notice. Good luck to you and congrats!

Nina, I understand this dilemma firsthand, so I will give you my experience.

I was *very* careful about anything that I told my boss about my maternity leave plans, or my return-to-work date b/c I didn't trust him to not screw up my disability benefits. He would constantly bring up the subject with other employees present, and then make comments like, 'oh, Claud will be coordinating new coverage distribution from the maternity ward at Stanford, blah, blah, blah, etc.'

I initially had told him that I planned to work right up until my due date. However, I ended up telling him that my doctor advised me to stop working about 1 month prior to my due date b/c I was extremely tired, had horrible swelling and just wasn't taking proper care of myself b/c of work.

Before I left, my boss tried to get me to admit that I wasn't coming back, saying that I could 'trust' him and that he 'would never do anything to jeopardize my ability to collect STD...' I did not fall for his game. I maintained that I was taking my FULL maternity benefits, 6 weeks paid (from the date of the baby's birth), and 12 weeks of FMLA (family medical leave act), which were unpaid, and that I would be returning to work in September

My baby was born in May, and I stopped working in April. However, I was paid in full for the whole month prior to baby's birth under STD benefits, which are different from maternity benefits - check your company's policy, and if you don't fully understand it, have someone explain it to you!.

I did not tell them I wasn't returning for a number of reasons - 1) for the fully paid STD AND maternity benefits; 2) for the health insurance coverage for my son - it was mandatory (per the insurance company) that Paul be put on MY insurance for the first month of his life - again, check your policy!! and 3) I was owed a management bonus for my work during the previous fiscal quarter, and did not want to miss out on collecting it.

I gave my company two weeks notice at the two weeks prior to when I was supposed to report back to the office. I am glad I chose to do it this way b/c there were times during my maternity leave that I was wavering about my decision to return to work. I had even begun looking into daycare options for Paul. But, then everything changed when we decided to move back to NY. Personally, I don't feel that you owe anyone an explanation too far in advance....give yourself some time to think this over and take it one step at a time. You may (or may not) re-consider your decision to be a SAHM at this point in time. Why rush if you don't have to?? JMO.

Nina you got a lot of good responses here and I totally agree with Claud and Lisa Rose, giving them 3 weeks notice is more than enough. Stop being so nice and stop thinking about what your employer is thinking, too bad...they know this game and you will not be the first to lie in their face and tell them you are coming back and you don't.

Take this from someone who's been laid off 3 times! there is no loyalty out there in the business world so don't feel you need to be so loyal either. Take what's coming to you and enjoy that baby when he/she gets here.

When it's my time to give birth I will certainly do what some of the ladies suggested on this board.
Good Luck and it's JANUARY you have time, either your driving yourself crazy or it's those pregnancy hormones acting up!

Think of this: would your employeer give you lots of notice prior to a lay-off? probably not.
Say that you plan on taking the full maternity leave but then plan on returning to work. You will not collect even your 6-weeks disability if you say you are not returning to work. You can even offer to return after maternity for 2-3 weeks to help train someone (just get daycare for a short time) if you feel that you 'owe' them at least that. Also, you have no idea how things may change if you say something now. Raises will not come your way, you may be asked to leave earlier than you want to. So just work for now as if you are coming back after the baby.

Okay, you all have me convinced, thanks!

I will not tell them earlier than 3-4 weeks, and as soon as I reach 1 year, I will find out the details my leave policy, whether or not it has to be paid off, etc. Also, it's true that for some reason I may decide to come back to work. We're moving soon, and who knows what will happen in a few months.

I agree with all of you, people quitting is part of being a manager, so he has to deal with it when the time comes. I do my work well, he always tells me he appreciates my work, so I shouldn't be worried about a bad reference later on.

Nina, I do not have anything to add, I will only say, sweetie, whatever decision you make I hope you are happy. Take care of yourself an baby You are very thoughtful

Michele31, good point! why didn't I think of that since I'm the 'lay off queen!'

Nina, the truth is...you and your boss have to plan for your job responsibilities to be transitioned to someone else while you are on maternity leave anyway.
As long as you do everything possible to make the initial transition easy for whomever is covering your role, than whatever happens AFTER you decide to quit will actually have LESS of an impact [on your day-to-day role] than when you first go out on leave. Does that make sense?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Nina,

You have a good spirit. I imagine I would be the same way when my times comes...

From my own personal experience (from co-workers I've actually worked with) you go on maternity leave and leave the door open. One co-worker who said they were coming back ended up staying home after September 11th. Another co-worker who said she was not coming back ended up coming back to work because they bought a house and couldn't make the mortgage payments on one income.

Anyway that being said. You are not the first person to go on maternity leave and leave things undecided. It happens very frequently that most companies know that there is a very real possibility the person will not come back. My friend, that I mentioned above (who didn't return to work) actually ended up giving notice about a week before her return date to the office. She was a manager,and truly could not make up her mind between income and her newborn baby. She offered to interview a new manager, or come in one or 2 days to train a new person or a temp. She still has a great relationship with her former supervisors. If it comes down to it and you really want to give notice before you leave because YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SURE you are not coming back...then 3-4 weeks notice is considered very generous.