Post-wedding ill feelings

Hi ... Perhaps you can help me with this one. I posted a review of my day on Review board ... it was a truly spectacular day.

That said, the days leading up to it were the most stressful days of my life, with family tension running high, and one of my siblings who was being difficult throughout balled out my now husband in a fit of rage. He said some terrible things, including calling him all sorts of obscenities and names. I haven't yet forgiven let alone forgotten.

My husband and I both got sick on our honeymoon, my husband was actually HOSPITALIZED. I'm convinced the sickness was due to stress. I also spent the entire two days before my wedding crying.

My parents want me to put all of it behind me but I can't ... anyone experience this? Did you wedding forever change some of your relationships? I'll probably delete this soon after posting but figured I'd see if anyone had any helpful suggestions. I feel like I'll never look at him or his family the same way again.

Re: Post-wedding ill feelings

MIL was downright evil to me...right up until the end of my wedding. She actually called my mother the day after the wedding & cried abou thim being 'gone'.

She got over it & now we are pretty close. I never thought I would have any sort of relationship with her, but once the 'shock' of her baby being gone wore off & she sees that I can take care of us, she had com around.

Hope this helps & I hope you & DH feel better

Re: Post-wedding ill feelings

MY MIL will not speak to me now since DH and I moved to GA....she thinks it's my fault. Whatever...DH wanted to get away from her and her controlling, manipulative, depressing behavior.

Re: Post-wedding ill feelings

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Posted by btrflygrl

MY MIL will not speak to me now since DH and I moved to GA....she thinks it's my fault. Whatever...DH wanted to get away from her and her controlling, manipulative, depressing behavior.

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That is my next fear.. that she will flip out again if I move to CT (like that is Oh so far away) if I get into Grad school there.

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DH and i will NEVER visit his grandparents again... i refuse to ever see them or talk to them again. they didn't make the wedding due to money (we then offered to pay for some of their stuff). then it was health... which was a load of BS. then it was back to money. They couldn't keep their stories straight. (they had almost 2 years to save up for plane fare and hotel). then they were back and forth, telling us they were coming, then they weren't,t hen they were.... well they didn't. And there was so much other BS going on.... they are LIARS and there really was NO excuse they couldn't come (from Florida). So i will never speak to them again, and DH will never forgive them.

Also, we never received a card or gift from them!!!!

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I lost two cousins because of my wedding. I will never ever ever ever speak to them again. My cousin and her daughter were supposed to be in my wedding. They were having finacial difficulties, so my mom offered to buy their dresses for the wedding. They gladly accepted that offer. Well, two days before my wedding, ten minutes before we left for our rehearsal dinner, my cousin called with some excuse that her baby had pneumonia and they weren't going to be able to come. Well, it turned out that her baby was actually fine, she just didn't want to leave her husband to come to NY for two days!! Needless to say, I haven't spoken to her since and never plan to again. Not only did she not bother to call after the wedding to congratulate us, she didn't send a card or anything either. Oh and the dresses, well she never offered to pay for it, and we told my aunt we wanted them back and still haven't gotten them. I lost a LOT of money because of her. That was two dinners paid for at $80 a head, bridesmaid gifts, that were personalized $140 for both, Flowers, $150 for two bouquets, dresses and gloves for the two of them, $400. Plus there was other stuff paid for already that I am forgetting. Oh and my programs, had their names in them already!! I will never forgive my cousin for this. She didn't even have a valid reason. She is just so dumb. I don't think I could ever forgive her even if I wanted to. Because when I think back, I went to my rehearsal dinner in tears. I had to be stressed because of her. I had to redo a million things at last minute. She really hurt me, she really messed alot up for me and that I'll never forget!!

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I just have to add that weddings truly bring out the worst in people. There are things that some friends and family members did at my wedding that are inexcusable but you put it behind you and try to move on. Its really hard to do but you have to look at what you and your husband have now and how far you've come... And how you didn't stoop to their level! We promised each other that after the wedding it would be all about us.. And so far it has been. Now is the time to focus on the two of you and your bond and the rest of your life together. Put your energy into that rather then the other stuff..

I wish you the best of luck!

Re: Post-wedding ill feelings

On our honeymoon, we both got sick and MY husband was hospitalized as well. That is so scary that we both had the same situation.
It was horrific. We spent most of our time in doctors offices and Walmart getting prescriptions filled. I could barely stand and actually remember not seeing clearly. I was seeing triple half of our hm with a high fever, unable to talk to my husband. Then I get better and he gets so sick. They gave him a choice- hospital in Hawaii or hospital in NYC. We flew back to NYC and I spent my weekend in Cornell Medical Center. Talk aboiut depressing!!!!
Makes for a stronger marriage though.

about all else. All will work out!

Re: Post-wedding ill feelings

Omg the stress before my wedding was so extreme too!!! I had a lot of resent about the way that people acted and treated my wedding day, I will tell you honestly, you will in time move past most of it. The family members that caused stress, I have gotten over it! The friends of my husbands that I hated to start with and no showed at our wedding, good riddence, it made my husband see what idiots they were. My work friends that I was shocked at how they acted, oh well, their weddings will be coming up shortly and I will not be attending their weddings, we are collegial (sp?) and I will leave it at that.

In time I am sure that you will be able to get passed it. Are there things that I would love to change if I could repeat that day, absolutely, but in the grand scheme of life, it becomes one day in time and what happened and the hurt that you feel does fade somewhat, that I can promise!!

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DH has not spoken to his grandparents in 3 months. They gave him so lame excuse about not flying in for the wedding (right after they bought plane tickets to New Orleans) Truth is, they were scared to come to NY for the wedding. They gave im the run around for so long. In fact most of his mother's family did. Not a single person from her side of the family came and they never even asked about it or wanted to see pictures. They were mad he didn't get married in St. Louis.

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my sister couldnt afford to be in my wedding. i was never really close to her but my mother insisted she had to be a part of it. so my mother and i paid for her dress,cape,shoes,gloves, then when she came from west virginia i paid for her hair to be colored and cut and paid to have it done the day of the wedding. her son my god son was also in the wedding and i paid for his tux and shoes and hair cut. gifts for both of them. i didnt even get a card from her the day of the wedding i wasnt expecting a gift oviously but a card costs 99 cents and she did have money with her.

she got so falling down drunk she cursed at my boss showed her boobs to my groomsman and verbally attacked my mother. she then proceeded to get kicked out of my moms home she was terrible to my mother and stepfather so she packed a bag with the rental tux and stole that. i had to pay 200.00 dollars for it. no i wont ever talk to her again and time wont heal these wounds especially seeing my video and her falling down and making a total a** of herself.

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Jan why dont you have that part edited out. I can imagine seeing it only adds to the pain

I know how you all feel. Sometimes I feel like we wasted so much money..especially now that I am off for the summer and geting ready for school. I feel sometimes like others made my day awful even if others tell me the opposite.

I had 2 girls at my wedding who berated the event and analyzed only the negative...form the Dj incident, to my dress and how I looked in it. I dared one of them to say anything about hte food cause I know for a fact they were seen many times stuffing their faces.

Even though my husband well to do friends keep giving us compliments..sometimes those negative things ring in my ears. I have good days and ba days..read my posts lol and u can tell when I am having a good day and vice versa.

I hope that time heals wounds..I really do..till then just vent it all out.

Re: Post-wedding ill feelings

Well, you can clearly see that you're not alone! Just do your best to remember the wonderful parts of your wedding. Celebrations really do bring out the worst in people sometimes. I've cut a few people out of my life because of their wedding behavior (not showing up with no explanation is the biggie -- two of my so-called friends did this, and they will never hear from me again.) It makes me sad to think about it, so I try not to do so.

Time will soften the edges of your hurt. Really.

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