Pressure

rrdm782004 Posted: Jan 29, 2005 04:51 PM

Pressure

I love my DH I have been with him since HS after 10 years of dating we finally got married last year. My DH want to start our family now and I disagree we are not financially ready.
I am 26 years old and he is 27 years old. I am currently in graduate school FT and working FT. I am trying to get my career started before having children. Right now we can only afford a studio and I hate it. I want a house and I know living here on LI is impossible.
I don't want to raise our children in a apartment. He doesn't care he just want a child he is being very selfish. Before I got married to him I told him once I am finish with my education we can start planning for our family.
I think he is jealous because all three of brothers have children expect him, however his three brothers are not married and they are struggling financially. I try to explain to him about how expensive day care can be and baby supplies and because we are a middle class family now will not be able to get any help because we make too much money.

Please help

Stefanie Posted: Jan 29, 2005 05:59 PM

Re: Pressure

I agree with you 100%! You have the right idea and you need to convince your DH that it's not the right time yet! Living in a studio apartment is tight. Imagine when a baby comes and the kind of room you'll have then. Believe me, we live in a one bedroom co-op and it's tight for us, plus our baby will be on the way in June....I feel cramped just thinking about it.

I also think that your education should come first and you are following your dreams right now. Your Dh should respect that.

If all his brothers have children, let him go over there and play with the kids all day and see if he wants to have his own. It seems that he's excited about the 'idea' of having children but doesn't really know of the responsibility, as you do.

Good luck!

rrdm782004 Posted: Jan 29, 2005 07:34 PM

Re: Pressure

Thanks

shamrock12472 Posted: Jan 29, 2005 08:11 PM

Re: Pressure

I agree with you and what you would like to do. It is a lot of pressure to be going to school, newly married and saving for a home. The only way to work it out is going to be some good old fashioned talking. His desire for a baby is coming from somewhere and he obviously can't see the forest for the tree right now or he might be more inclined to wait. I think you two need a heart to heart in a neutral place so he can really hear your feelings. Good luck

rrdm782004 Posted: Jan 29, 2005 08:18 PM

Re: Pressure

Posted by shamrock12472

I agree with you and what you would like to do. It is a lot of pressure to be going to school, newly married and saving for a home. The only way to work it out is going to be some good old fashioned talking. His desire for a baby is coming from somewhere and he obviously can't see the forest for the tree right now or he might be more inclined to wait. I think you two need a heart to heart in a neutral place so he can really hear your feelings. Good luck

Yeah I will talk to him again, I will explain to him just because your brothers have children doesn't mean you have to children. His brothers girlfriends are also not in graduate school.