Question

frogie Posted: Apr 16, 2003 09:29 PM

Question

Hi I am new to this but I have a question and I would like your advice. I was snooping in my fh email and I found an email confirming a one month subscription to a pornography website. I brought up the topic to him on the phone and he lied and said he would never pay for it. He admitted to looking at it but not to paying for it. I told him he would probably never tell me if he did and at first he said he would tell me and then he said probably not. He said what would the big deal be anyway. I know i was dishonest by snooping but he also lied to me very convincingly. what do you ladies think and how would you feel in my position?

shamma Posted: Apr 16, 2003 10:34 PM

Re: Question

well I for one do not like lying, if he can lie to you for something this small what is to make you feel as if he will not lie to you on something bigger. If you have anything against pornorgraphy you should let him know this. If you are ok with him looking at it then tell him that too. Why do you think he lied?? When you start lying it turns in to a snowball effect. I always say honesty is the best policy. What were you doing snooping in his email? do you have reasons to believe that he is not being on the up an up with you or has he lied to you before??? Lying causes mistrust, I cannot be with someone that lies to me, that's me tho' I think lying leads to snooping and making you live in a state of questioning the person's actions all the time. Why didn't you tell him you saw it??? I think you should come clean and get it out in the open.

jennbaby Posted: Apr 16, 2003 11:39 PM

Re: Question

well said Shamma I agree, I hate lying more than anything and if he lies about this (if he is) then he'll lie about more.

natasha Posted: Apr 17, 2003 07:22 AM

Re: Question

I think he feels ashamed about looking and/or buying pornography. I would sit down and have a talk with him about this issue. Let him know how you feel about this, and the lying. Good luck to you.

Sonicstef Posted: Apr 17, 2003 09:59 AM

Re: Question

Weird..i wrote a long response to this last night and now its gone. Oh well... the gist of it was:

Your husband obviously (probably justifiable so) feels that you do not approve of pornography so he lied out of embarassment. Not that it excuses it but I wouldnt worry that its indicative of a world of lies. However, you snooping thru his email is completely inexcusable. You violated his trust and THAT is so much more of a problem if you ask me. How can you expect honesty when you are going thru his personal info?