Question from a desparate newlywed!

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

However, I will have to echo some of the statements above -- communication is the key. When reading some of the posts on this and other boards, you get the fairytail images of marriage. But we all know that marrige is hard work. You will have ups and downs. As you go through this try to remember the vows you have taken, and try to work through these problems.

I wish you all best and lots of hugs.

So sorry you have to deal with this. DH and I realize just how important communication is everyday. If you two are not really getting through to each other, and I mean, really getting through, then problems will inevitably appear.
Hopefully you two can find some time soon and sit and have a long heart to heart.

People are able to change, they just need to #1 admit there's a problem and #2 be willing to work on changing. No one else can force them, they have to do it on their own.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way, but I truly believe the 'writing is always on the wall, IF we choose to read it' What you are feeling now , I suppose is no different then what you were feeling before you walked down the isle.

Just remember the most important person is you, make your decisions wisely and good luck.

Ladies no one's marriage is ever 100% perfect every day, if anyone on here says that their marriage is, I would say I find it hard to believe. If anything ever gets too overwhelming for me, I know I can always come here for support. SO do not ever feel as if you are downing us, we are here for each other. We can learn from each other maybe someone has gone thru what you are going thru and can help you thru it.

Hubby and I were just discussing that in life as in marriage every day cannot be SUnday, we all know, marriage is work and as soon as something harsh comes your way, the first choice should not be to run, but to work it out. Stop and think about why you marry this person. There should be more Sundays tho' than non-Sundays. When you are going thru your low time is when you fall back on your SUndays.

I pray for all the marriages on here and I wish everyone on here more hi times than low times. When the low time comes stand fast and think on your vows and the happier times and work thru it. Better days are ahead.

Shamma. I agree with the above 100%, especially this line 'no one's marriage is ever 100% perfect every day.'

Every relationship and marriage has it's rough patches. However it seems to me that it may be a little more than that in your case. I think that perhaps counseling might be a wise idea. Every good thing is worth fighting for and your marriage is no exception. You medical insurance may even cover some of the cost. I would suggest it and see how your DH feels. If he is not willing to go don't let it stop you from going. It can only help. I wish you all the best.

I dont know the situations you girls are in but I can say this:

When my hubby and I are in a really bad argument and I just feel like strangling him, I try to remember all the reasons why I married him and how I felt as we exchanged vows.

IMO, Marriage is a 'deal'. You stick thru the bad stuff so you can enjoy the good stuff. Sometimes life is going to ****...and sometimes it will be rosy. You have your whole lives ahead of you, dont make any decisions that negate your vows after just a few months.

Everyone before me said it perfectly! Don't forget - this board is all about wedding planning and newlywed bliss so you won't hear as much about the 'daily grind' of marriage.
Every couple has its good moments and its hard ones day in and day out. Just talk to your hubby when you are both calm and open to conversation. Try to compromise and don't allow divorce to be an option, especially so soon after your wedding. Neither one of you has changed in so little time so there must still be a love there that you have to try and rekindle.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Don't look on my situation as the 'norm' on the board, but every marriage, especially those under a year are going to go through certain growing pains. They say things don't change after marriage, but they do. At least the expectations of the wife do. I think we're just wired to expect that the other partner is going to be as giving and as attentive we are (even moreso) because we're now 'married'. Prior to getting married, we are all riding the euphoric magic carpet ride - where nothing can cause us much stress because we're in our zone of wedding planning and such. Our focus in on making that day special. The letdown after the wedding is something I don't think we're always prepared for. I don't think much changes with the guys after marriage. They are who they were before we got married, we just didn't want to (by choice or by distraction) notice this. I'm totally not excusing his behavior because he needs to be accountable for hurting your feelings, but don't throw in the towel just yet. As each year passes, things will get better. I wish I had a more positive message to bring your way but it will get better. You guys need to seriously sit down and discuss your feelings. Don't worry about upsetting him - heck, let those feelings go! You'll never get your point across by holding back emotionally. I would also suggest finding some outside activities, like getting together with friends, finding a hobby or league to join for the summer to keep you occupied. Maybe with some time away from him, he may just miss you and the attention you gave to him! Also make some time to do couple things, like dates out and dinners in with a group. Find things that will keep him away from the idiot box.

My sincerest best wishes you to sweetie and never feel bad about coming here to vent, etc. That's what we are here for!

Communication is the key to marriage, and although I am only married for 12 days now, John & I lived together for 3 years before so to me, it's almost the same as being married.

Talk about everything, listen to one another, always keep the lines of communication open. I believe most anything can be resolved by talking.

Good Luck.

I sent you FM

I'll admit that I wondered if I made the right choice by getting married...but I was never seriously considering a divorce. Please consider seeing a marital therapist. Also the book 'What Nobody tells the Bride' was a wonderful book that discussed how miserable the first year of marriage can sometimes be. 'The Conscious bride' is another great one.

Marriage is a huge adjustment. A lot of women wind up 'mourning' their former lives as single women. It was hard (and still is) for me to get out of 'selfish' mode and start thinking of us as a couple. That was my hardest transition.

Good luck.

I'm sorry you are going throuh this. I think you need to sit down and talk to your husband and let him know that you don't feel you are spending enough quality time together.Maybe you can both set aside some time that you can do things together that you both enjoy (Whether its renting a movie,playing a game or going ice skating.)
Everyone needs their time together.
Good luck.

I think sometimes myself and my friends included have thought of 'divorce' simply because we were angry. Dont make any rash decisions, hang in there and talk to him and maybe a counselor if need be.

You dont think clearly when you are mad or confused