was ur SO in the military or a cop when u started dating?? did u consider this a problem?? how did u handle this?? any inisight is helpful
halloweenbride04
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
DH is 8 weeks away from graduating from the Nassau Police Academy. He was a retail manager when we met and had always said he always wanted to become a cop, so when the Nassau and Suffolk tests came up (2 yrs. ago) he took them. We were already engaged by the time he got called to go into the Nassau Academy. We spoke at great length about what it would mean for him and us and our future family if he became a cop. We both agreed that the pros of being a cop: salary, time off, benefits, retirement wouldn't compare to any retail management position and would give us and our children a secure and comfortable future. But the cons to ME: the ever changing schedule, the working holidays, missing family events, not to mention the constant worrying I would do would be so hard for me to get used to. I was and still am upset at how much the academy interferred with our wedding and honeymoon (which we did not take) but there was nothing I could do but accept it.
To be quite honest, if DH was a cop when we met I would have been less inclined to date him seriously. But I fell in love with him and married him and I have to support what he wants to do and I feel that I have been doing a good job in supporting him. We continue to discuss my feelings and worries which is helpful. He realizes that this is a big adjustment for me and he is supportive of that for me as well.
Sorry for the long response, but I hope this helps.
2003fallwedding
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
Is there a new man Michi?????
MuchInLuvMichi
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
Posted by halloweenbride04
DH is 8 weeks away from graduating from the Nassau Police Academy. He was a retail manager when we met and had always said he always wanted to become a cop, so when the Nassau and Suffolk tests came up (2 yrs. ago) he took them. We were already engaged by the time he got called to go into the Nassau Academy. We spoke at great length about what it would mean for him and us and our future family if he became a cop. We both agreed that the pros of being a cop: salary, time off, benefits, retirement wouldn't compare to any retail management position and would give us and our children a secure and comfortable future. But the cons to ME: the ever changing schedule, the working holidays, missing family events, not to mention the constant worrying I would do would be so hard for me to get used to. I was and still am upset at how much the academy interferred with our wedding and honeymoon (which we did not take) but there was nothing I could do but accept it.
To be quite honest, if DH was a cop when we met I would have been less inclined to date him seriously. But I fell in love with him and married him and I have to support what he wants to do and I feel that I have been doing a good job in supporting him. We continue to discuss my feelings and worries which is helpful. He realizes that this is a big adjustment for me and he is supportive of that for me as well.
Sorry for the long response, but I hope this helps.
ty for sharing ur story hun!! very very helpful!!!!
jen110704
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
My husband is both. He is in the reserves and NYPD. I always said that I would never marry a cop, but I did and I fell in love with him. It's not a problem with us. This is what he wants & I support him. He works nights & I work days. I knew this is the way it wuld be when I met him. I can't imagine DH doing anything else with his life.
mikeysgirl
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
Cop, what do u mean problem?
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
i met anthony as a police officer and fell in love with knowing that he was one. i knew that there would be times when i would have to spend holidays alone and when my heart would jump out of my chest when he was at work and the news broadcasted about a police officer shot. but he loves what he does and comes home happy every day. i wish i could say the same thing about my job. i have to support him because i love him and it makes him happy and he makes me happy. he had another career as an accountant before we met and it made him miserable he feels that he really found his calling so i support him. after being dating him for almost 2 years engaged for 1 and married for almost one i can honestly say i would marry him all over again and the police thing isnt even a factor
MuchInLuvMichi
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
Posted by 2003fallwedding
Is there a new man Michi?????
lol hun, theres the possibility of anew man lol..im just trying to figure out if its something i want to persure ya know, being he is both a cop and a reservist.. just curious to see what extra stress it adds to a relationship ya kno b4 there even is one lol i like to b prepared.. promise to keep u posted babe:)
wood2be
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
My DH was a US Marshal when I met him. Now he's still Federal but in another branch. I 'm one of those chicks who always had a thing for guys in uniform and that's basically all I ever dated. Funny thing is, mine's a cop without a uniform!
kimmie
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Re: r u married to a military man or a cop?? q...
I started dated him when he was a cop so to me it's all I know. If he wanted to get into after we were already dating I would still be for it if that's what he wanted to do. I pray that he is safe and that he comes home everyday but this is what he wants to do so I can only be there for him. I hate the shifts he has and everything to do with the department but that to is part of it.
Be prepared to be alone for several holidays and sometimes nights or days alone because thats what they get... We only have 9 years left......
