Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Original post by peabody

Dec 30, 2004 12:47 PM

I am 29 and I kinda feel like I should be ready.

But in all honesty, I am not and I don't really feel like I will be in the near future.

Which worries me, because I don't want to be too much older when we start having kids.

mrsmeri1104 Posted: Dec 31, 2004 11:13 AM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Posted by mrswask

I'm 31 and don't when I'll be ready!!!

I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!!!

rrdm782004 Posted: Jan 01, 2005 03:02 AM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

I waiting until I finish graduate school which will be this year. Although my DH and I have been together for 10 years I still would like to wait until I am 30 years old. I should be into my career then. I am still young I am 26 and my DH is 27 we have plenty of time to start our family.

MrsTC Posted: Jan 01, 2005 03:45 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

i feel the opposite....my DH and I are TTC now and I am nervous that our families will think it's too soon when I do get PG....I'm 27 and he is 32.

Summerbride04 Posted: Jan 01, 2005 04:42 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Posted by skew

we are going to start TTC in june. i don't feel (probably never will) that we are 100% ready. right now, i consider myself way too selfish. i.e. i don't want to be tied down by someone elses schedule. like to do what i want to do when i want to do it. not to mention, i am scared to death of being responsible for someone elses life.

i am going to have to alter my life in a major way, but IMO it will be TOTALLY worth it.

I'm on the same wavelength as you. Whenever I'm around babies I start getting baby fever but then I think I like doing what i want when i want and a baby would completely change my life which i'm not sure i would welcome right now, i still feel i have a lot of growing up to do and to be responsible for a small human being 24hrs a day, 7 days a week sounds like a grown ups job.

nov04LIbride Posted: Jan 01, 2005 05:43 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Hey! I already talked about this with you, but I am in NO way ready, and don't feel I will be anytime soon (26 now, DH 28). I always thought in my head around 32, but there is so much I want to do first--finish my doctorate, travel, buy a house after a few years in the condo. where we live now...I just can't imagine being tied down 24/7 by a little person dependent on me in every way. I can't even imagine having a puppy to walk! I think it does just hit you one day though--when my mom got married at 26 she didn't think she wanted kids, but she said at 31 or so it was like she couldn't bear to be any longer without a child...I think the whole natural instinct to start another generation does kick in eventually...I just know that when I do have one, I want to know I am ready. I can't imagine being thrown into something like that. But if we ever couldn't conceive if I was older I would want to adopt a girl from Asia.

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Jan 01, 2005 08:05 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

im 32 and will be 33 this year and my dh is 31 i am told by everyone that i should be ready and on some days i feel that i might be and then this fear takes over and completed freaks me out. im not quite sure what exactly scares the hell out of me.

i was also told that with my heart condition that i would have to be careful which puts even more stress on me. because i know i have to do it soon so there are less risks to me and my child.

Moehick Posted: Jan 01, 2005 10:03 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Not ready yet... I'm 28 and DH is 33. I just started grad school so no baby until I graduate. We still enjoy just the two of us and we want to enjoy things together for awhile before a baby comes along.

no stress bride Posted: Jan 03, 2005 10:32 AM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

I thought I was ready even before I got married I knew it wasn't going to happen then but I had that itch but once My bridal shower came along and I got my pug that was it the kids thing went right out the window!! LOL I will want them but not yet maybe in a few years!!! We will see what happens!!

I would tell everyone if you want a kid get a dog first!! That changes everything very quickly!!

nferrandi Posted: Jan 03, 2005 01:12 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

I'm definitely ready, it's DH who isn't quite as sure. He knows he wants them, he's just not ready to stop being selfish. He's also concerned about the financial responsibility because he knows I don't want to go back to work full time when I have kids. I want to be able to work part time, either from an office or from my home, so he feels like he needs to be making more money before we can think about having a baby. I n a sense I agree with him, but I also think we'll never have 'enough' money. You just have to go with it and make sacrifices along the way.

Karacg Posted: Jan 03, 2005 02:32 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

I wasn't ready for a while (first marriage) because we were having too much fun being just a couple. But at about 33-34, I decided it was 'time'. Well it didn't happen (although he got our neighbor pregnant!!). Since the marriage (obviously) didn't last I am glad it never happened. He was way too selfish and immature to be a father. I think God knew what he was doing by not letting me conceive!! (I had no idea at the time about the neighbor)

Now, I am ready. So is DH. But I am 38 and he is 39, so...it's about time we tried. All I can say is, don't let others rush you into something or do it because it is 'expected' of you. Do what feels right for you and DH.

Charly Posted: Jan 03, 2005 02:56 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

I'm 32 and DH is 29 - he's more ready than me. I feel very selfish in that I'm not ready to make such a sacrafice. I just got a kitten and planning a week away is a chore - I couldn't imagine a baby.

We recently decided that I should move my job to Westchester so that WHEN and IF we decided to take that step I will be closer to home. I got an offer 2 weeks ago, accepted and still haven't had the nerve to give notice (or a definitive start date) - soley because I feel like I'm already beginning the sacraficing and it scares the heck out of me!!

I'm just nervous b/c I had major surgery years ago on my left ovary and I'm a high risk pregnancy and I'm not getting any younger if you know what I mean

Annette Posted: Jan 03, 2005 03:51 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Omyword, thank you for this post! I feel the same way and am going on 34 this year. I have just now become ready for marriage (finally felt ready for THAT plunge just a yr. ago, to be exact). Now that we are, I've come the closest ever to being able to think about starting a family, but we have so many plans, too, as you all. Bldg. a home after living in our co-op a few yrs., plus I'm still acting in NYC and wanting it to get to another level before I start a family. Starting a fam. will definitely mean stopping acting for sometime. I know folks do both, but it takes massive amounts of energy and conviction. Kudos to them! Maybe one day that will also be me. Being married 5 weeks has not made me ready for babies, that's for sure, but DH is ready ready ready.

My oldest friend just had a baby and I think it could be fun to have a playmate for him, but that's not a strong enough reason, of course! I wish us all the best with our decisions and that, when we are ready, there are no complications.

peabody Posted: Jan 03, 2005 11:54 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Posted by nov04LIbride

Hey! I already talked about this with you, but I am in NO way ready, and don't feel I will be anytime soon (26 now, DH 28). I always thought in my head around 32, but there is so much I want to do first--finish my doctorate, travel, buy a house after a few years in the condo. where we live now...I just can't imagine being tied down 24/7 by a little person dependent on me in every way. I can't even imagine having a puppy to walk! I think it does just hit you one day though--when my mom got married at 26 she didn't think she wanted kids, but she said at 31 or so it was like she couldn't bear to be any longer without a child...I think the whole natural instinct to start another generation does kick in eventually...I just know that when I do have one, I want to know I am ready. I can't imagine being thrown into something like that. But if we ever couldn't conceive if I was older I would want to adopt a girl from Asia.

Yes, we did talk about this. And after talking to you, I felt 100% better. Your mom is so awesome and for some reason after you told me she had her first child (your brother) at 32 I calmed down.

Thanks Beth, you are a friend!!!!

marc_rai Posted: Jan 04, 2005 12:27 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

What is TTC?

nov04LIbride Posted: Jan 04, 2005 12:57 PM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Posted by marc_rai

What is TTC?

Try to conceive

Spitzergirl Posted: Jan 06, 2005 09:27 AM

Re: Regarding TTC, is anyone worried that they will never be ready?

Hey Ladies,

I am 30 & I completely feel like I am NOT ready. My mom does not agree with me, she says do it in 2 more years. .

I think it will be too soon, there are so many thing I want to do in life, and I feel like a baby may hold me back. Plus, I don't feel like I am ready.