right or wrong?

so DH's grandmother paid for his entire family (us included) to go on a cruise (like 13 people in total!) ... at the last minute, BIL and his wife (who are HUGE PITAs regardless) couldn't make it (it was a BS excuse).

Luckily, the grandmother paid for travelers insurance so the money she spent on the cruise wasn't lost forever (though the $160 she spent on insurance was)

Anyway, i found out yesterday, that BIL and his wife are taking the money from the cruise and using it to pay for their own cruise in a few months.

I think it's totally bogus! The point of the cruise was not to take money away from an old lady and have fun alone ... it was to be WITH his grandmother so we could all hang out and spend time together. On the other hand though, DH's grandmother said she felt bad that BIL was unable to come and wanted him to have a nice vacation too so she wanted him to keep the money.

I don't think he should have accepted that gift from her .... but am i wrong? was it ok for him to accept it since she still wanted to give it?

thanks for reading ... sorry it's a bit long.

oh and ps: based on what she's been saying this past year since booking the cruise, she doesn't have much money left .... though i'm not entirely sure what that means exactly.

Re: right or wrong?

i think its really effed up to do that. he should've accepted the gift for what it was or passed it up completely. As for grandma wanting to give him the $$- thats another story.

Re: right or wrong?

Obviously it was wrong but not much you can say or do about it.

Re: right or wrong?

Totally wrong, in my opinion...

Yeah, I get it she feels bad that they didnt go and she would offer the money to be fair...(my mom woud do that.. if she spends $10 on one kid, she has to spend $10 on the other!)

but they shoudn't have taken ....the whole point of the cruise was that it was a family thing - sounds to me like they are very selfish!

Re: right or wrong?

FIRST OFF- your GMIL ROCKS! i think thats the most amazing gift EVER!

as for your BIL- he sounds shady. thats just wrong. i mean, whats more important than spending time with family?
he shouldn't go on a cruise, he SHOULD have gone with the family.. not on his own terms.

unless his 'excuse' was either work related, health related or prior engagement related (and with that, the only acceptable prior engagements would be a wedding, graduation, or something like that.. not a friends bbq)

Re: right or wrong?

well his excuse was SOMEWHAT valid (his mom buys it, but DH and I don't) ... him and his wife were coming and were going to leave their 2 year old son at home (the wife's parents were babysitting all week). But then the wife's dad got sick (seriously sick) so they had no babysitters and couldn't come (note: they didn't not come because of the wife's father ... i know this for a fact).

thing is - they could have just brought their son with them! it's not THAT hard or expensive ... plus, their grandma would have def paid for him!

they kept giving excuses like 'we don't want him to be at the ship's babysitting service because there are too many germs' and 'we don't want to chase after a child on our vacation' (but helloooo! wouldn't you rather chase him around in the caribbean rather than chasing him around at home?! )

uch, sorry this is long again ... i get so frustrated with this guy ... he's the absolute worst part of DH's family .... and his wife too.

Re: right or wrong?

they shouldn't have booked a new cruise - unless they paid for the grandmother to go as well, the three of them. The point is to spend time with family and not to go off on your own vacation. if we couldnt make it on the original cruise we would have returned the money ... however if it was BIL AND SIL they would have done the same thing and planned their own private vacation.

Re: right or wrong?

yea, thats not a valid excuse.. i'm sure with the child SURROUNDED by family, that he'd be watched while on the cruise.
I mean, I can see their point that they dont want the responsibility while on vacation.. but guess what.. you did the deed, you have a child (which is a BLESSING), then take some responsibility and for the next 16 years understand that you can't just dump the kid on someone else because you need a break.

Re: right or wrong?

I think he's 100000% wrong. If it were me, taking the $ and spending it on myself wouldn't even be a thought in my mind.

110% not cool

Re: right or wrong?

I would NEVER have accepted that money! And if I did it would be to take Grams out to lunch or on a cruise of her own!

Re: right or wrong?

Yeah, I def think that is wrong. I would've never taken that money.

Re: right or wrong?

Wow! That is total crap! If they couldnt make it to the family cruise, then they shouldn;t have accepted any of her money...especially if she doesn't have a lot to begin with! I think they are seriously lacking tact!

Re: right or wrong?

I would've never taken that money.

Re: right or wrong?

I think that's totally messed up! Seems like they just wanted a vacation alone and are taking full advantage of their grandmother! That's really sad