SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

Dani731 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:47 AM

SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

What are your thoughts on SAHDs (stay @ home dads)? The whole SAHM theory comes from the assumption that that the DH is the breadwinner & will make enough money for the DW to stay home. But what if DW is the breadwinner? Is it ok for DH to become a SAHD? Or should the men always work no matter what?

My DH's cousin is a SAHD because his DW is a RN & makes way more money than he did. So, he stays home with the kids & works seasonal jobs to make extra money whenever he can.

What are you thoughts????

SusiBtoM Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:49 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

Whatever works best for a family.
No one's place to judge what another does.

PeteysBride Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:50 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

Like I said in the other thread, I am of the opinion if you have kids and one spouse has a high powered career that takes them away from home all the time and away from their kids, I think the other spouse should have a less taxing career and stay home a little more. Its not a gender thing for me so much as a give and take.

I TOTALLY support SAHD's! I love seeing men with their kids on the subway. Dh jokes if I was a power mom, he would be a SAHD.

Christys0925 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:51 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

Posted by SusiBtoM

Whatever works best for a family.
No one's place to judge what another does.

ITA !!!!

EmberLynn Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:55 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

My hope is that when we have children, my DH will be a SAHD.

Dani731 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:56 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

Posted by SusiBtoM

Whatever works best for a family.
No one's place to judge what another does.

ITA! I have heard many people judge this but mostly from older individuals who are VERY old fashioned. I see it as you got to do what you have to do to support your family. One way or another. As long as it works for you, it doesn't matter what other people think.

Colette Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:57 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

I think its totally cool as long as the SAHD has no ego problem and can handle being the stay at home parent.
But if it makes the SAHD sad, then no, he should go back to the salt mine.
My DH wouldn't be able to handle it, he'd much rather see ME be the SAHM.

teenigrrl Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:57 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

DH's dream is to be a SAHD, no joke. I've never had any desire to be a SAHM, but that could always change once I have kids. If we had the means, i would let him stay home in a heartbeat!

DeannaNDave07 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 09:57 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

why not!! he can be MR. MOM!!

carolinebr Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:00 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

My husband owns his own company & is able to take more time off than me.

He's not a SAHD but there are days that he takes off or 'works from home' (wink wink) and he spends the days with Ella. I think its wonderful. I didn't have days alone with my dad growing up. To see the 2 of them, they are so close. She LOVES her daddy. Its heartwarming. If he was home with her every day & I was working, I'd probably get jealous but once a week, its really nice.

MrsQ-in2007 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:06 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

I think that whatever works for the family is fine. Two of my female coworkers are the sole breadwinners with their DH's staying home with the kids.

In one case, the DW is a property manager and her DH was a teacher. They now have 2 little ones 18 months apart and he's stayed home since the first one was born. She made more than double what he made, so it just made sense and since daycare is RIDICULOUS, him not working worked out better than him working and them paying for daycare.

So, whatever works. In our situation, DH and I make about the same amount of money, but he has better benefits so it wouldn't make sense for him to stay home. Also, we wouldn't be able to afford it b/c neither of us has a huge salary.

Cpt2007 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:10 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

I think if it works for the family, then go for it! My DH would LOVE to be a SAHD. We couldn't afford to do it down here on the salaries we have now, but if things changed, we'd consider it. I've got the larger income of the two of us, so we're actually considering going this route. We'll see where we are though when we start ttc.

Dani731 Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:15 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

Posted by PeteysBride

Like I said in the other thread, I am of the opinion if you have kids and one spouse has a high powered career that takes them away from home all the time and away from their kids, I think the other spouse should have a less taxing career and stay home a little more. Its not a gender thing for me so much as a give and take.

I TOTALLY support SAHD's! I love seeing men with their kids on the subway. Dh jokes if I was a power mom, he would be a SAHD.

ITA! I CAN'T STAND the old fashioned double standards where the wife must stay home cook clean sow etc. & the man must work & not lift a finger when he gets home (other than yardwork).

In my house my DH does most of the cooking & the laundry & most of the cleaning. Some people judge us when they hear this, but this is what works for us. I work alot more hours than he does, plus I am in Grad school & I have started to go to the gym because I NEED to lose weight. And my DH loves to cook & does a great job with the laundry & the cleaning. I step in & help whenever I have the time to but he knows that I have a lot on my plate & he supports me 100%.
We have already discussed the possibilty of him being a SAHD for a while if I was to get pregnant anytime soon. Once I finish my MBA I am expecting to get a BIG raise & it would just make more sense for me to work instead of DH. He would probably still work PT @ night or weekends for extra cash.

iwannabmrsD Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:20 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

I think the idea of a SAHD is amazing.. for us, it'll be me staying home next fall ater the baby is born, but I know dh is a little jealous and wishes he could stay home... he's taking paternity leave and is trying to save all of his vacation time to add onto it.

in our home he does most of the cleaning and I do the cooking.. he tries to cook but.. well that's another story.. lol. he's great around the house and with my daughter so I don't see why he couldn't be a sahd, other than the fact that my career is a little more stable so it would allow for me to stay home whereas his would not..

magbride Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:21 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

Posted by SusiBtoM

Whatever works best for a family.
No one's place to judge what another does.

ITA!

jtgarsik Posted: Mar 13, 2008 10:50 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

whatever works! i think it's amazing when men are SAHD's...and vise-versa for the women. honestly, to be able to do either one is a huge blessing!

luvabul Posted: Mar 13, 2008 11:35 AM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

agreed!

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Mar 13, 2008 12:28 PM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

I think its a great idea for some people, it just depends!

it may work out great for us down the road...i am in a long doctoral program to eventually practice in psychology. DH is a special ed teacher but is writing his first novel, which is his true aspiration. if it ever worked out for him, a writing career, it would be perfect because he'd be working from home while i could be with clients when i start practicing. DH and I both love the idea. He's such a nurturing amazing father!! Who knows, it may happen. I know he would LOVE the opportunity!

ant n tilde Posted: Mar 13, 2008 12:54 PM

Re: SAHM spinoff: SAHDs......

I think as long as both the husband and wife are happy - its awesome.

It would never work for us though - I would definitely be resentful and he would feel emasculated so I know its not an option for us.

DH only works for the summer and has off all winter. . . Even though he is home I still do all of the cleaning and chores (( he does help out with cooking sometimes )) bc those are the roles we are happy with. I am pretty sure that even when we have kids that he PROBABLY won't be with them all day when he is off from work - maybe split the day with my mom etc. He won't even hold babies that are less than a year old LOL