Should I be this bothered??

Sorry this is so long, but I though you should know some backstory.

We had a good 10-12 guests who didnt show up, who didn't call to say they weren't gonna show up, who didn't apologize after the fact, and didn't send any money to cover the loss at my wedding.

Out of all the no show's to my wedding..the one that hurts the most is my ex-best friend. We were very close throughout HS and afterwards, she was my partner in crime. But things started getting funny towards the end of our friendship. She started going through some personal things, and ended up getting pregnant. Around that time I met DH and things were going pretty good between us.

She didn't like him or his friends and told me 'If you ever marry him I WILL NOT COME, so don't even bother to invite me '

She fell off the map for a good 2 years, and then reached out to me to rekindle our friendship. I always knew our friendship could never be the same.. and with the separation between us I realized she was a jealous person and that is why she behaved so nasty to me right before she fell off the map, but I decided not to cut her out of my life completely.

We spoke occasionally on the phone and I would update her on my relationship progress...but we never had the friendship we once had and only hung out a total of 2 or 3 time over the course of 2 years.

When DH and I got engaged, I reminded her of the hurtful thing she said 2 years earlier..she claimed she never remembered saying that.

I start the planning process, and we continue to speak by phone and text. One day she said that at this point in the planning process she has to assume that she is not in the bridal party since I hadn't asked her. And I had to tell her that she would not be in my BP. I could tell she was hurt by that, but I didn't want to have anyone in my BP that wasn't gonna be truly happy for me, and I didnt want to deal with no one's drama.

Anyway, she begs me to invite her mother and sister who I wasn't planning on inviting and I agreed.

Fast forward to the wedding, we didnt have a receiving line becuase of time restraints, so we tried to visit each table at the reception. When I finally make it around to where she should have been sitting..who do I see? Her mother and her sister..but she is not there. So I asked her sister, and she looked so emarassed and told me she didnt come. Why? Becuase, get this..she had her period..***?

I was really really hurt by this. So hurt, that on our way the airport the next day I was thinking about. it.and found myself thinking about it in Mexico..but I put a stop to it because I didnt want thoughts of her to pre-occupy my mind on my honeymoon.

Now that I am back, I still havent heard from her and am debating whether I should text her to tell her she hurt my feelings...talk to her, or just write her off completely.

It's been nagging me. What should I do?

Re: Should I be this bothered??

Write her off.

Don't give her the satisfaction of a phone call asking what happened - she will know that she got to you, and that she hurt you. She sounds like she is a little on the vicious side, so she'd get jollies out of knowing that she hurt you.

I would just cut her off from this minute on.

What a d0uche.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

I'm so sorry you had to go through this and even weirder, I can't believe the mom and sister showed up. I would have thought they were be embarassed to come. Then again they RSVPed already so I guess it's good that they did.

As for your 'friend', personally I would write her off completely. She doesn't deserve your time or energy, especially after you made the effort before. If you can't just let it go and need to speak your mind maybe email her. Send her everything you want to say to her and leave the ball in her court. She doesn't seem to care enough to contact you so why give her the satisfaction.

Again, I'm sorry you are going through this and someone is treating you so cr*ppy!

May I wish diaherra upon her?

Re: Should I be this bothered??

i personally would call her and put her on blast for not showiing up for such a lame azz reason. then i'd write her off... but thats just me...

Re: Should I be this bothered??

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Write her off.

Don't give her the satisfaction of a phone call asking what happened - she will know that she got to you, and that she hurt you. She sounds like she is a little on the vicious side, so she'd get jollies out of knowing that she hurt you.

I would just cut her off from this minute on.

What a d0uche.

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Yeah ITA with this. From the moment I started reading your post, 'ditch her' rang through my mind. This is not a person you need to surround yourself with or worry about.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

Shes not worth your time..seriously..I learned in life sometimes you gotta just keep it moving b/c whether she was bleeding to death or not, she should have been at your wedding and the fact that her relatives came and she didnt, its like w t f...this happen to me at my wedding and i promised to never ever give 2 sh * ts about people that sincerely dont give 2 sh *ts about you..

Re: Should I be this bothered??

ita with kris. dont give her the satisfaction. ignore her if she tries to rekindle or apologize

honestly, what excuse is she going to come up with? if there was a good reason her family would have know. but her period? o please.

adios amigos!

Re: Should I be this bothered??

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Posted by ourwedding9510

I'm so sorry you had to go through this and even weirder, I can't believe the mom and sister showed up. I would have thought they were be embarassed to come. Then again they RSVPed already so I guess it's good that they did.

As for your 'friend', personally I would write her off completely. She doesn't deserve your time or energy, especially after you made the effort before. If you can't just let it go and need to speak your mind maybe email her. Send her everything you want to say to her and leave the ball in her court. She doesn't seem to care enough to contact you so why give her the satisfaction.

Again, I'm sorry you are going through this and someone is treating you so cr*ppy!

May I wish diaherra upon her?

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Awww..thanks for your compassion.

Yes please wish her violent diaherea at the same time of her 'period'...lol.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

She's not a true friend. Forget about her. You're much better off. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

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Posted by luckycouple05

Shes not worth your time..seriously..I learned in life sometimes you gotta just keep it moving b/c whether she was bleeding to death or not, she should have been at your wedding and the fact that her relatives came and she didnt, its like w t f...this happen to me at my wedding and i promised to never ever give 2 sh * ts about people that sincerely dont give 2 sh *ts about you..

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Thanks..your right.

It just makes me feel like I could have invited 3 other people who would have been honored to get an invite and would have actually shown up.

It's so true, you find our who your true friends are when you get married.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

Thanks Ladies..

Re: Should I be this bothered??

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Write her off.

Don't give her the satisfaction of a phone call asking what happened - she will know that she got to you, and that she hurt you. She sounds like she is a little on the vicious side, so she'd get jollies out of knowing that she hurt you.

I would just cut her off from this minute on.

What a d0uche.

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This!! There's really no point in calling her and telling her it hurt you. It'd just be dragging out the 'relationship' more than it needs to be.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

Im so sorry... thats the most ridiculous reason for missing a wedding EVER!

Re: Should I be this bothered??

i actually think you should write her an email or something to get things off of your chest ... sounds like you really need to do that.

but after that email is sent, i would never ever talk to that 'friend' again ... as the others have said, she's not someone you want or need in your life!

Re: Should I be this bothered??

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Posted by AngnShaun

Im so sorry... thats the most ridiculous reason for missing a wedding EVER!

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I knowwww..you ever heard of Midol?

DH said maybe she is just too jealous that I am living a life that she wants. And she is stuck being a single mom, taking care of her mother and brother too.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

i actually think you should write her an email or something to get things off of your chest ... sounds like you really need to do that.

but after that email is sent, i would never ever talk to that 'friend' again ... as the others have said, she's not someone you want or need in your life!

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I think I may just do that...after that I can't try anymore. It would be like beating a dead horse.

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I would never speak to her again. Her loss.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I would write her off and forget about her. Her mom and sister probably came because they were probably really embarrassed by the way that she acted and did not want to stoop to her level.

Re: Should I be this bothered??

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Posted by SoontobeGallagher

I would never speak to her again. Her loss.

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same here

Re: Should I be this bothered??

Honestly, I'd call her out on it, still send her mom and sister a very lovely thank you b/c it HAD to be awkward for them, and then cut ties with her.