So...how would you feel? OMG sorry so long! UPDATE

Long story over how STUPID DH can be.

He's been talking about wanting to see Springsteen when he comes to Giants Stadium this summer. I do remember saying he had a show on my birthday - and no matter what date, I wasn't interested. I figured he'd go with his one buddy. Fine.

Well today we're at the house inspection and he brings it up how he's buying tickets and he asks me if I want to go- doesn't mention the date or anything - and I said no.

We get home, he orders the tickets. He calls his friend and says 'I got the 3 tickets, we're good to go.' And I was annoyed cuz he never told me his friend's wife was gonna go- then I'd definitely go! So that was one strike against him. He claims he told me she was going. I don't remember that. He says it was at the house today- well hello I was a little preoccupied at the time!

Then...he tells me the date they're going. MY FRIGGIN' BIRTHDAY. I could not believe he thought it was completely acceptable to go out all night without me on my birthday. This is what hurt me the most. If I wasn't going and it was my birthday, you'd think he'd be sensitive enough to realize it might not be a good idea to go without me. Of course not. So he laughs at my reaction - complete anger - because he swears I knew the date of the concert was my birthday and that he was going with both his friend & his wife.

Well on my side of things- I heard Springsteen, and I said no. I wasn't paying attention to the logistics.

Well I storm out, pissed beyond belief. I call a friend who has a husband who might as well be the same guy as DH and she made me realize maybe he thought we'd just go out that weekend (my bday is a Thursday). But she agreed he was totally wrong here. I was gone for at least 2 1/2 hours when he finally tries to call me.

I come home. He says 'Do you want me to give up the ticket?'

Why is that not working for me? It's the point of the whole damn thing that is killing me! The fact that he thought it was okay!! And he's asking me if I WANT him to give up the ticket? If he knows this is completely wrong, he should just give it up, plain and simple!

And now we have to go out with friends tonight...ugggghhhh.

Am I overreacting? I'm just so hurt here. I'm surprised he didn't say 'Go home and hang out with your family' the night of the concert- but HELLO - YOU are my family now, you idiot!!

I'm sorry this is so long. I just get soooo heated up when it comes to the principle of the thing. Why didn't he just realize- hey, Tara isn't coming, it's her birthday, it probably wouldn't be right for me to go without her? Cuz he's a stupid BOY!!!

Thanks for listening ladies!

****UPDATE*****

Well, I gave DH basically a cold shoulder up until late last night when he finally asked what was wrong. (I love how he pretends everything's fine until it's time to go to bed! ) We talked about it and he didn't even ask me if I wanted him to sell the ticket- he just said there's nothing to worry about, he's not going.

So now I feel bad! If I had listened in the first place, I'd be going with him and the other couple and then everyone would be happy. Instead, I heard Springsteen and said no and ignored the details. It doesn't seem like Brett wants to sell the one ticket and try to find two for us- it will be tough. But who knows.

I'm just glad he realized he was wrong after all! But stupid me has to feel bad now!

Tara, I am totally with you on this one. If DH did this - got tickets to a concert with his friend and friend's wife on MY BIRTHDAY without ME, I'd FLIPPPPP my lid.



But, he's a guy and he probably thought that since he mentioned it all to you and you still said you didn't want to go, that it was fine. At least you know he'll never do this again!!

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. They can be so dense sometimes.

I agree with you - how could he ask you while you were so obviously distracted with house buying stuff? And its your first birthday as a WIFE, he should be spending it with you!!!

I know how you feel also, now that he's asked if you want him to give up the tickets .... and not being satisfied by that, even thought that's the whole point of the argument you guys are having!

I wish I had answers for you, but I'm sure some of the other girls will, they're much better at that than I am.

All I can do is offer you some

I see you guys are Steelers fans, just like my husband and I.How about my husband and I get tickets to a game. One for me, one for you, and one for my husband. I always like to pay people back when they least expect it!!! And we'll take lots of pictures too. . But seriously, he was WRONG!!!!

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Posted by werock0709

How about my husband and I get tickets to a game. One for me, one for you, and one for my husband. I always like to pay people back when they least expect it!!!

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That's a good idea .... are they playing on Brett's birthday????

Paybacks a b!itch!!!!!!

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Posted by PreshusSmurf
That's a good idea .... are they playing on Brett's birthday????

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You girls crack me up.

Feeling better Tara?

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

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Posted by werock0709

How about my husband and I get tickets to a game. One for me, one for you, and one for my husband. I always like to pay people back when they least expect it!!!

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That's a good idea .... are they playing on Brett's birthday????

Paybacks a b!itch!!!!!!

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too funny Jess!! and your avatar perfectly suits that comment!

Tara, I would DEFINITELY be upset about this, my DH knows that I consider my birthday a national holiday (kidding!), but he thinks birthday celebrations are for kids (even though I tell him I don't need a celebration, but just him to celebrate me on my b-day!!), so you know my DH would probably be like your friends DH and not see too much of a big deal about this. which goes to show that guys don't THINK about how their actions make us feel sometimes, and that this would NOT be something you (or I) would do to our husbands. I think this will be a lesson for Brett in your marriage that he needs to make sure he's being considerate of you when he makes decisions, as now that you're married, you're in it together. I would just explain how hurt you are that he would even think its ok to go out and leave you solo on your b-day.....I'm sure you've already expressed this to him. But being that they are Springsteen tickets, he shouldn't have any problem getting someone else to buy them, which is exactly what I would suggest- Craigslist, ebay, get rid of them!!! or, at the very least he could buy you a ticket to go (since the friends wife is going too), but then it probably wouldn't be in the same section. I don't get it!! why don't men understand the importance of birthdays!!!!!! Mike & I had such a bad fight on my b-day almost 4 years ago, we didn't speak for TWO days afterwards!!! it was BAD! and I was so hurt, it's still a sore spot to this day......I'm so sorry that you and Brett are going through this right now, I'm sure you don't want to get into a big fight like this right before Christmas and everything. I'm sure there's a way to resolve all this, and I hope it starts with Brett saying sorry. fighting s*cks!

He is so wrong. I would be uncontrollably pissed. Sometimes they make big boo-boos. This is pretty big.

I really hope you feel better. I am sure that he didn't mean to do it to hurt you, but had a momentary lapse of reason and sensitivity.

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Posted by HelenZ

But being that they are Springsteen tickets, he shouldn't have any problem getting someone else to buy them, which is exactly what I would suggest- Craigslist, ebay, get rid of them!!!

or, at the very least he could buy you a ticket to go (since the friends wife is going too), but then it probably wouldn't be in the same section.

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Oooh! I just had an idea ... thanks to Helen!!!!!!!!!!! (where's that lightbulb emote-icon?!)

Suggest to Brett that he sell the single ticket, like Helen suggested.

THEN have him buy 2 more tickets.

This way everyone gets to go, you two get to sit together & the other couple keeps their tickets.

Whaddaya think of that idea??

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

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Posted by HelenZ

But being that they are Springsteen tickets, he shouldn't have any problem getting someone else to buy them, which is exactly what I would suggest- Craigslist, ebay, get rid of them!!!

or, at the very least he could buy you a ticket to go (since the friends wife is going too), but then it probably wouldn't be in the same section.

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Oooh! I just had an idea ... thanks to Helen!!!!!!!!!!! (where's that lightbulb emote-icon?!)

Suggest to Brett that he sell the single ticket, like Helen suggested.

THEN have him buy 2 more tickets.

This way everyone gets to go, you two get to sit together & the other couple keeps their tickets.

Whaddaya think of that idea??

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good thinking Jess!!! we make a good team!

here's your lightbulb lol!!

Honestly Tara.. I would be pisssssed.. I can't believe that he would be so insensitive to go to a concert with another couple and not you, AND on YOUR birthday..

I hope it all works out for you!!

oooh Tara - i hope this all works out for u instead of being angry and fighting over this later u should really just tell him calmly that u're hurt and tell him why...it's when u make men feel bad that they listen lol.

ps: U're last sentence sums it up perfectly...Boys can be so stupid sometimes..lol

hugs fo u!

OMG you girls are amazing!! Thank you soooo much for your support!

We went out last night...there wasn't any tension between us or anything. But we haven't talked about it since (he's still sleeping right now anyway). He knows I'm hurt and why I'm hurt. But like I said, the last we left it was, he asked if I wanted him to give up the ticket.

Thanks for the idea Jess- that might be an option. Though it might be difficult to get them at the same price that he bought the 3! I'm sure it's sold out now and it'll be hard to get. Part of me - a very stupid part of me- feels bad telling DH he can't go. I never like to be that kind of person. I just want him to realize what is right in this situation. I swear if his buddy & his wife knew it was my birthday, they would be HORRIFIED. They'd be like, get the hell home to your wife NOW!

Thanks again ladies!!

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Posted by werock0709

I see you guys are Steelers fans, just like my husband and I.How about my husband and I get tickets to a game. One for me, one for you, and one for my husband. I always like to pay people back when they least expect it!!! And we'll take lots of pictures too. . But seriously, he was WRONG!!!!

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I LOVE IT!

Tara -- you are so right!! I would probably have a hard time telling my DH not to go if he were in the same situation. But then again at the same time your DH needs to do what is the right thing -- and spend your birthday with you He should have been more sensitive to the fact that the concert was on your birthday and if the other people going knew I'm sure they'd tell him to be with YOU too!!

I think us girls put a lot more thought into things and double-check and triple-check our facts. If we were to plan something on our DH's birthdays that they would not necessarily jump at doing we'd probably ask them over and over 'are you sure it's Ok? are you positive? I just wanted to make sure' I know that's how I'd be. anyone else do that?

I guess it's a guy thing -- but it's still not an excuse.

Hope things work out -- let us kow how things work out.

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Posted by fallinlove91407

Tara -- you are so right!! I would probably have a hard time telling my DH not to go if he were in the same situation. But then again at the same time your DH needs to do what is the right thing -- and spend your birthday with you He should have been more sensitive to the fact that the concert was on your birthday and if the other people going knew I'm sure they'd tell him to be with YOU too!!

I think us girls put a lot more thought into things and double-check and triple-check our facts. If we were to plan something on our DH's birthdays that they would not necessarily jump at doing we'd probably ask them over and over 'are you sure it's Ok? are you positive? I just wanted to make sure' I know that's how I'd be. anyone else do that?

I guess it's a guy thing -- but it's still not an excuse.

Hope things work out -- let us kow how things work out.

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OMG SO friggin' true - that's the thing. He never once said 'Are you sure? It is your birthday - are you okay with me going out without you?' DUMBASS!! If he did that then I wouldn't have just let it slide and he wouldn't have bought the tickets. In his mind, he asked me and I said no so it must have been okay. CLUELESS!!!

Thanks again ladies! I love being validated!

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Posted by GettinHutched

OMG SO friggin' true - that's the thing. He never once said 'Are you sure? It is your birthday - are you okay with me going out without you?' DUMBASS!! If he did that then I wouldn't have just let it slide and he wouldn't have bought the tickets. In his mind, he asked me and I said no so it must have been okay. CLUELESS!!!

Thanks again ladies! I love being validated!

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I guess boys will be boys -- but when will they ever learn?? They need to take a lesson from their wives Better sooner than later right?

bump with update for those that are interested

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Posted by GettinHutched

****UPDATE*****

Well, I gave DH basically a cold shoulder up until late last night when he finally asked what was wrong. (I love how he pretends everything's fine until it's time to go to bed! ) We talked about it and he didn't even ask me if I wanted him to sell the ticket- he just said there's nothing to worry about, he's not going.

So now I feel bad! If I had listened in the first place, I'd be going with him and the other couple and then everyone would be happy. Instead, I heard Springsteen and said no and ignored the details. It doesn't seem like Brett wants to sell the one ticket and try to find two for us- it will be tough. But who knows.

I'm just glad he realized he was wrong after all! But stupid me has to feel bad now!

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Sweetie, don't feel bad .... this isn't a situation you created. His timing was really off to ask you about a concert on your birthday while at the house inspection.