SPINOFF to the 08 baby post....

what are you most afraid of (if you are afraid) about having a baby??

i think for me, its the $$$ side of it. i had posted on the other thread on 08 that me and DH are in a lot of debt right now (ILs loaned us about 15k to help pay for the house) and we have a good 4k on our credit cards... we really need to pay that off within the next 8 months or so AND THEN start saving $$ before even thinking about TTC.

PLUS - i'd really like to be more comfortable in my job.... i would LOVE to be a SAHM - but not really sure if we can do that financial wise.... it kills me to think of putting my child in day care (and paying the big bucks for it too!!) so i would really love to pull off working part time.

what about everyone else? i'd love to hear that i'm not crazy!! lol

I am petrified of having bad kids. I mean I literally have nightmares that my kids will be evil and I will hate them. No one WANTS bad kids - and we have some DOOZIES in our family. I mean literally, we have kids in our family that can ruin a family occasion and we actually try to avoid them at all costs.

I know everyone says that children become what you make them - and DH and I are planning to be VERY strict with our children - BUT - what if it doesnt work? I just dont want to have one of those kids that people avoid!!!!

well Dh and I are currently TTC. We have the same worry which is money. I know his job is secure and i know my job since i am the only employee is pretty secure, and that they will prob just hire a temp. But i still worry about the actually cost of raising a child. But Dh and I also realize timing and money are never going to be right and if we wait for the right time we will be like 80

So what makes it easier for us is, we both want to be parents more then anything and now we will do what ever it takes to be the best parents we can

The pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And everything that goes along with being preggo (pain wise)


Oh and $$$ too

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Posted by lillprincess54

But i still worry about the actually cost of raising a child. But Dh and I also realize timing and money are never going to be right and if we wait for the right time we will be like 80

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yeah i have heard this about a million times!! and i agree... but i do think that we could be more financially stable (ie-NOT be in debt to IL's)

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Posted by ant n tilde

I am petrified of having bad kids. I mean I literally have nightmares that my kids will be evil and I will hate them. No one WANTS bad kids - and we have some DOOZIES in our family. I mean literally, we have kids in our family that can ruin a family occasion and we actually try to avoid them at all costs.

I know everyone says that children become what you make them - and DH and I are planning to be VERY strict with our children - BUT - what if it doesnt work? I just dont want to have one of those kids that people avoid!!!!

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ITA!!!!!!!! i feel this way too!!!

pretty much what you said. I work part time and I'm basically a coffee b!tch right now. I want a real job and want to be there at least a year before I think about having a baby. So that's my fear, not being settled in a job before I have a baby. I'm also scared of all the doctors and stuff that come along with the pregnancy. I'm petrified of needles / doctors office's. I hear I'll get over it pretty quickly though

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Posted by ant n tilde

I am petrified of having bad kids. I mean I literally have nightmares that my kids will be evil and I will hate them. No one WANTS bad kids - and we have some DOOZIES in our family. I mean literally, we have kids in our family that can ruin a family occasion and we actually try to avoid them at all costs.

I know everyone says that children become what you make them - and DH and I are planning to be VERY strict with our children - BUT - what if it doesnt work? I just dont want to have one of those kids that people avoid!!!!

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Im sure your children will be wonderful!!! Im sure you wont have to be very strict and they will be brought up to make good decisions and will know how loved they are by their parents. Im sure they will make some bad decisions as well and will learn from them. But from talking to you on here, you seem very sweet and Im sure you will make an excellent mother one day!

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Posted by ant n tilde

I am petrified of having bad kids. I mean I literally have nightmares that my kids will be evil and I will hate them. No one WANTS bad kids - and we have some DOOZIES in our family. I mean literally, we have kids in our family that can ruin a family occasion and we actually try to avoid them at all costs.

I know everyone says that children become what you make them - and DH and I are planning to be VERY strict with our children - BUT - what if it doesnt work? I just dont want to have one of those kids that people avoid!!!!

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lol, DH and I talk about this all the time. Him and I were both terror children so we know we're going to have a kid that will drive all babysitters away.

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by ant n tilde

I am petrified of having bad kids. I mean I literally have nightmares that my kids will be evil and I will hate them. No one WANTS bad kids - and we have some DOOZIES in our family. I mean literally, we have kids in our family that can ruin a family occasion and we actually try to avoid them at all costs.

I know everyone says that children become what you make them - and DH and I are planning to be VERY strict with our children - BUT - what if it doesnt work? I just dont want to have one of those kids that people avoid!!!!

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Im sure your children will be wonderful!!! Im sure you wont have to be very strict and they will be brought up to make good decisions and will know how loved they are by their parents. Im sure they will make some bad decisions as well and will learn from them. But from talking to you on here, you seem very sweet and Im sure you will make an excellent mother one day!

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LOL thanks - that was very sweet!!

I'm just scared of the idea all together. I see my girlfriends having kids and my cousins, basically it's around me now for some reason. Finacially, we really can't, but if I ended up preggo we could probably budget it in. I always wanted to give my kids more than my parents gave me (not that they aren't great parents) and right now, I can't do that.

The more and more I think about it, I'm just afriad of the whole idea all together. Being pregnant, giving birth and it's not just that. I'm scared of the pain!! My best friend just had a baby in April and when I saw her in labor, I was like 'oh no, not me, not now'. I think that just shows I'm really not ready. DH and I use no type of protection and I am not on BC, so if it does happen, I really would consider it a blessing, I just wouldn't be as happy as I could be in the future.

The BIGGEST fear I have is that I will loose my child some day. My poor Nana (great grandma) god bless her, is 94 years old and still strong. When her son John was just 18, he was killed in the service. I worry about this all the time. God forbid it happen to any of us. My poor grandma still cries every holiday (and randomly) about how she misses her brother. Not only so much pain for a mother and father, but for the rest of the family too.

I really try hard not to think about all this, but everytime DH and I have this talk, these things hit me like a ton of bricks. I really hope these worries disappear over time, because at this point I don't want kids for a while. It's not only my decision though. If DH really wanted to have a baby, I think I would try to reconsider it.

Im scared about having kids, I can't wait to have them, Im just scared to see how much wider my hips are going to get!

As much as I'd like to start trying, DH and I need to get our house together and enjoy each other a bit more.

i am afraid that my kids will be sick, physically or mentally and that scares me enough to almost not even want kids - a previous job put that fear in me....and its not because i will love my children any less - i am just afraid that i wont be a good enough parent and im afraid that i will fall apart and lose it....i dont know how i would handle having a mentally ill child, i am afraid that i wont be able to give them the kind of care they need and that just really scares me - i know first hand what it takes to be a parent of a special needs kids and those parents are amazing - i dont know if i have that in me....

besides that nothing really scares me, i just worry about their health.....money comes and goes - and i know that my husband will never let anything happen - so i will let him worry about the money stuff

stretch marks, getting fat, hemroids, labor pains, bleeding to death - yeah that stuff scares me, but not THAT much - people have babies all the time, and most people do it again, so it has to be worth it to do it more than once otherwise everyone would stop after one hahahahaha - so im hoping its not that bad hahahaha

Ohhh I can go on and on of why I am afraid,.,

I have some valid reasons- MONEY. I don't want to work for a while after I have kids. I want to be able to take care of them till they are ready for school. I want to be the mom who picks up and drops off the child every day. So we would have to have $$ in the bank and DH would have to work.

Selfish reasons too- I am totally afraid to take care of and be responsible for another person for the rest of my life. A child is forever.. I am afraid of that responsibilty and being able to care for (properly) and raise a child to be an outstanding individual.

I am not ready to change my lifestyle to accomodate a child. I like to do things as I please and DH and I like our freedom.

I am petrified of actually BEING pregnant! I get nauseous now, at the drop of a hat, so I don't even want to THINK about how nauseous and sick I will be for 9 months!!! And of course, the pain of giving birth scares the *bleep* out of me! My SIL is a labor & delivery nurse at Stonybrook and she has 4 kids... I keep thinking she is going to try and take over... DH will have to keep her in line! I also worry about not having a CLUE what I am doing as a mom! I know all moms go thru this and just take it one day at a time... I am not even sure DH knows all these fears of mine... I should probably have a litle chat with him before we start TTC someday

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Posted by ant n tilde

I am petrified of having bad kids. I mean I literally have nightmares that my kids will be evil and I will hate them. No one WANTS bad kids - and we have some DOOZIES in our family. I mean literally, we have kids in our family that can ruin a family occasion and we actually try to avoid them at all costs.

I know everyone says that children become what you make them - and DH and I are planning to be VERY strict with our children - BUT - what if it doesnt work? I just dont want to have one of those kids that people avoid!!!!

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omg tilde, i was the most evil child EVER......my mom was bad as a kid and my grandparents used to tell her that they hoped she had a kid just like her - but then i came and i was SO BAD that they said they were sorry that they ever said that .....so god knows what my kids will be like!! and DH was a bad kid too - but in a different way - i was evil DH was always into things, ruining stuff, breaking things, stuff like that.....so i am really in for it

You ladies brought up A LOT of things that I am scared of...of course most important is having a healthy baby physically, mentally etc...

The second thing is the feeling of 'am I really ready for that life change?'...I mean there are so many factors for women especially....do I work? do I want to leave my baby with someone? I have this feeling that I want to have children and stay home...but of course losing my salary is a scary idea esp. in this economy