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splitting the holidays

Danacm80 Posted:

splitting the holidays

Do any of you get stressed w/ splitting the holidays w/ your family and the in laws? I'm getting sick of trying to please everyone. It really ruins every holiday and puts me in a bad mood. UGH! MIL never seems to be happy no matter if the hours added up still add up to her having more time with us. So ridiculous.

lizzie217 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

It is always a stress....my IL's are actually not like that but I always put the pressure on myself...I feel like my fam gets more face time...they live closer so it is easier...but I know what you mean it is stressful to be equitable and make everyone happy....you know what they say .... you just cant please everyone
CD516 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

Its very stressful. I totally understand. I feel like because we are newly married, we have to bend and stretch to make everyone happy. DH wishes we could just bring both families together and make one big happy brady bunch, but unfortunately it doesnt work that way so we end up having to travel and eat 2 meals on every holiday! Our families dont pressure us, we just feel like we should be with both families so its really hard.

GraceAndAdam Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

It's definitely stressful because instead of relaxing during the holidays, we're constantly going from place to place in order to make sure we spend time with everyone. Tomorrow we're having my dad & brother over for a few hours before we go to DH's dad's house for the rest of the night. Then Christmas day it's back to DH's dad's house to watch his little sister, niece & nephew open their gifts from 'santa'. Then we go to DH's stepmother's side of the family in the afternoon, & then to his mom's side of the family in the evening. At least it worked out with fitting everyone in. Usually we end up having to postpone seeing some family members until after the holiday, and then it just doesn't feel as special.

shoegal68 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

its very stressful for us. running all over town.

when we get a house. everybody is coming to us. having an open house. buffet style dinner. come when you want, bring anybody you want & help yourself to the food. i am not serving anybody
Espo22 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

we're pretty ok with this, works out fine and everyone is happy. We do christmas eve with his family since they do a big thing for x-mas eve and everyone gets together then and opens presents. Then x-mas day is with my family, my mom always does a big x-mas dinner and everyone comes over. Both sides are happy with it since they each get a full day

drpepper318 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

Luckily my in-laws live a few hours away so we don't have to travel back & forth within the same day... we have a system that has worked the past few years, so it's not so bad for us... if they were local though, I would find it stressful.

Kimbalina Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

Yea, I hear ya!!! I hate driving from house to house and splitting it all. DH parents are seperated and we have to visit with both of them and my own family is very demanding of our time during the holidays too.
I almost want to go away for the holiday and make arrangements to see everyone before or after.
Mrs.C 102608 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays


Posted by Espo22

we're pretty ok with this, works out fine and everyone is happy. We do christmas eve with his family since they do a big thing for x-mas eve and everyone gets together then and opens presents. Then x-mas day is with my family, my mom always does a big x-mas dinner and everyone comes over. Both sides are happy with it since they each get a full day




Same here, it worked out ok since his family does a big xmas eve dinner and my family does a big christmas day dinner. I think everyone is happy.
Browneyesncute Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays


Posted by Espo22

we're pretty ok with this, works out fine and everyone is happy. We do christmas eve with his family since they do a big thing for x-mas eve and everyone gets together then and opens presents. Then x-mas day is with my family, my mom always does a big x-mas dinner and everyone comes over. Both sides are happy with it since they each get a full day




thats how it goes for me
Soon2bMrsRP Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

This is definitely a huge problem for us - I think it's the only thing we argue about - he wants more time at his and I want more time at mine - given it's our first set of holidays as a married couple - hopefully it gets smoother as the years go by.

Dee0522 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays


Posted by Browneyesncute


Posted by Espo22

we're pretty ok with this, works out fine and everyone is happy. We do christmas eve with his family since they do a big thing for x-mas eve and everyone gets together then and opens presents. Then x-mas day is with my family, my mom always does a big x-mas dinner and everyone comes over. Both sides are happy with it since they each get a full day




thats how it goes for me



Us too, thank God! Christmas is the one holiday we never have an issue with. It's the other ones we need to figure out. Grrr
TrueLoveIn2008 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

I am lucky -- it always worked out for us because my mom likes to have us over on Christmas eve and DH's family do Christmas dinner. DH's parents live in FL now so we don't have to worry about seeing them separately (never did really, they were always at DH's uncle's house).

My sister has it bad this year though. Usually we would all see each other xmas eve and then again for xmas morning breakfast. I guess my mom couldn't give up the xmas morning thing even though her daughters are 31 and 28 I can understand that though - she must feel sad, and after 28 years (I moved out before my sister) or so of waking up with a child or two in the house, it must feel weird not to have any there. So while I am not going to xmas morning breakfast with my parents this year, my sister, BIL and niece are still doing something with them. She lives with her MIL and the MIL is going to her dad's, so my parents are going over there .... and we are seeing them on xmas eve too ... and so mu sister's SIL wanted to see them one of the two times (xmas eve or xmas morning) and she was a little surprised that my sister was going to be with my mom BOTH times. Kinda puts my sister in an odd position - but my mom doesn't understand it, doesn't see any problem with the fact that she is 'hogging' them.
luvabul Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays


Posted by Soon2bMrsRP

This is definitely a huge problem for us - I think it's the only thing we argue about - he wants more time at his and I want more time at mine - given it's our first set of holidays as a married couple - hopefully it gets smoother as the years go by.



same here...
lillprincess54 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

we just started this last year, so its still in testing mode

thanksgiving with my IL's

Christmas Eve with my family

Christmas Day - by ourselves unless someone decides to stop over
Danacm80 Posted:

Re: splitting the holidays

major brawl w/ DH and his mom today and then a few comments flying by tonight... gosh... can't wait until tomorrow to see what else can go wrong. Next yr i think we're going to Atlantic City and we'll just see everyone afterwards.

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