So DH and I had this conversation the other day about when our parents get old will we take them in ! we said yes about his parents .
How about you guys? Have you had this discussion yet?
davenjess
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
i think Dave's sister would take in his parents....but who knows...
HamptonsBride
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
we've joked about how we'd gladly take in the Moms...but both our Dads are high maintenance...my Mom took care of my ailing grandma for 5 years & i told her I would do the same & not let her go into a home...
donegal419
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
yes, we talked about this and we will do this for each other's parents if needed.
DH grew up living with both sets of grandparents at different points in his life, so this is 'normal' to him.
We are also both the 'responsible' ones in amongst our siblings, so it would probably fall to us anyway
ejm1219
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
I honestly think it is situational. I saw my parents take in my maternal grandmother for a few years until she passed away. Now my paternal grandparents are going through alzheimers. While DH's mom was able to take care of her mother, I think when you have 2 parents alive its different. In addition, Alzheimers is a scary thing and my parents are really grappling with the decision to put them in assisted living. Its a tough choice.
GinaZ
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
I dont know. It will depend on the situation and if they want to stay with us. But I would never turn away family.
lillprincess54
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
well i know this may sound cruel but i dont ant either of our parents living with us, dh dad lived with us for a few months when him and dh mom was going through a divorce that was enough
bettybcafe
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Posted by GinaZ
I dont know. It will depend on the situation and if they want to stay with us. But I would never turn away family.
same here.
MrsPags
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
Wow- dh and I had this conversation within the last month and it was interesting...
she says: I would take in parents and do what I can for them.
he says: put them in a home or assisted living.
For the most part I know my sil would take care of my in laws- esp since they are taking care of her now. I would still do what I have to for them anytime- they have been great to us. I know I would take in my mom ( my dad will prob be moving back to greece when he gets older)
DH thinks they will be happer when I know for a fact that my mom lived her life only for her children ( i'm mixed about this one- I'm thankful she did but I do not feel that you have to completely give yourself up for your children- different thread in its own...i know)
Because she devoted herself to us I could not in anyway turn her away if she is in need. I call it part of the circle of life.
Brian and Marie
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
We have talked about it and the answer to both was a big fat HELL NO!!! I see the hell my parents go through having my PITA Grandmother living with them and we would never want to go through that!!
ligirlz
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
Posted by bettybcafe
Posted by GinaZ
I dont know. It will depend on the situation and if they want to stay with us. But I would never turn away family.
same here.
Ditto here too
AllJoy
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
We discussed that DH's single brother would. (Hopefully he knows that). He makes over $200K per year (Way more than the two of us together) and has a big house.
soon2bmrsVPT
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
Posted by GinaZ
I dont know. It will depend on the situation and if they want to stay with us. But I would never turn away family.
Same here.. we'll cross that bridge when we come to it
ant n tilde
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
I think I will be taking care of my parents ( if they need it ). My brother is twelve years older than me and my sister is fourteen years older than me. My sister has a son with autism that takes up most of her energy and I do NOT see my brother's wife taking care of my parents.
I think that we would also be taking care of my IL's. I think that my MIL would definitely choose me over her other DIL. LOL!!!
Let's be honest here - the women take on 90% of the responsibility when it comes to taking care of aging parents!
MushesGirl
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
we haven't had this discussion, but this is a tough one. I have worked in a few nursing homes and seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think we would be able to take care of dh's mom if god forbid she got ill; as for my folks, they are a handful when they're well! oy vey just the thought of having to take care of either one makes my hair stand up
vmystique33
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Re: Taking in the IL's ???
Posted by MushesGirl
we haven't had this discussion, but this is a tough one. I have worked in a few nursing homes and seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think we would be able to take care of dh's mom if god forbid she got ill; as for my folks, they are a handful when they're well! oy vey just the thought of having to take care of either one makes my hair stand up
