The non-givers.....

andrewsbride Posted: Nov 21, 2005 03:04 PM

The non-givers.....

There were many that didn't even bring a card. Do I have to send a Thank You card?

I mean the least you could do is make a card if you can't afford one.

mable Posted: Nov 21, 2005 03:09 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

No way I would not send a thank you..

Aga Posted: Nov 21, 2005 03:09 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

we sent thank you cards saying thank you for coming or something like that...

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Nov 21, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

I feel a fight brewing about this. I don't want to send a TY to the ones who did not get us a card (I did NOT expect money, JUST a card.) For the record, there were people on my side who didn't give a card. I think DH will want to send one to everyone.

MCDO15 Posted: Nov 21, 2005 03:26 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

it happens...be a better, bigger person and send one. some people just dont know how to do weddings, parties, etc...

kms71705 Posted: Nov 21, 2005 03:46 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

We sent them, we just said thank you for sharing in our day.

A couple of people who didn't give us gifts wound up sending them later. The last one we got was a month ago.

HTH,
Kelly

Mrs. Powell Posted: Nov 21, 2005 04:03 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

Posted by Aga

we sent thank you cards saying thank you for coming or something like that...

This is exactly what I will be saying in my Thank You's to those who did give anything.

snowprincess805 Posted: Nov 21, 2005 04:14 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

we sent thank yous to everyone and found out that a few checks went missing and a few said they forgot to mail our cards -so it worked out for us

cjik Posted: Nov 21, 2005 04:22 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

Initially, I planned to do nothing for the people who came to the wedding and didn't even send a card. But then I thought they did take the time to travel and attend at least, it seemed as if that should be acknowledged. It wasn't a short trip for them.

I would have been fine with no gift, but
I'm still amazed that they didn't even produce a card themselves, but I didn't feel good about not thanking them at all.

Marcie Posted: Nov 21, 2005 05:10 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

You should still send them a thank you - they did come to your wedding and spent the day with you.
Since we had a couple of people that attended our wedding that were not doing well financially or spent alot of money to come to our wedding - we still sent them a thank you.
We were so happy that they still wanted to spend the day with us.

Sonicstef Posted: Nov 21, 2005 05:26 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

I sent a thank you to everyone who came.

charityhope Posted: Nov 21, 2005 05:27 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

We had some non-givers. We did not sennd them cards. I feel like they got a favor as a thank you for coming to the wedding. A thank you card is to acknowledge a gift, card or some kind of special assistance they provided. JMO.

m&m2005 Posted: Nov 22, 2005 11:54 AM

Re: The non-givers.....

We are not sending TY's to those who did at least give us a card. I was not sure about what to do at first but DH said not too. We figure they got a great meal, drinks, a favor and a night out and couldn't even give us a 99 cent card to say 'hey, we are thinking of you'.

JimmysBride Posted: Nov 22, 2005 01:56 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

Send a Thank you. Be the bigger person. Plus, when they get it, they should feel guilty and a little ashamed.

BHW Posted: Nov 22, 2005 04:20 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

I have no intention of sending a thank you card to people who didn't even bother to give us a card or gift. Maybe I'm being petty, but I'm not going to waste the little free time I have writing thank you notes to people who didn't even have the decency to spend $.99 on a card.

SeptWed Posted: Nov 22, 2005 05:33 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

Posted by BHW

I have no intention of sending a thank you card to people who didn't even bother to give us a card or gift. Maybe I'm being petty, but I'm not going to waste the little free time I have writing thank you notes to people who didn't even have the decency to spend $.99 on a card.

DItto for us. We did receive some gifts months after the wedding and i did send TY's to them when the card and gift was received. I don't really find it me not being the bigger person...i see it more as you get what you give. I thanked people who came to my wedding with free music, food, favor and drinks. To not even go out and get a 99 cent card is pure tackyness and I would not waste an additional 37 cents and cost of card/pic on that person.

JMO of course.

hocus Posted: Nov 22, 2005 05:54 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

Thank you notes should be written for gifts that you receive (wedding gifts, christmas gifts, birthday gifts). They don't need to be written if you haven't received a gift.

I know a lot of people send thank you notes to people who just attend, but I never made sense to me. Do you send thank you notes to people who just come over for dinner? When you go to a barbeque do you expect the hosts to write to you thanking you for coming.

To me (and I know not everyone feels this way) sending a thank you note when you haven't received a gift is a form of gift-begging. Why bring it up? I am sure 99% know they should have brought one.

If you typically write letters to people then it would certainly make sense to mention how much you enjoyed seeing them at the wedding. But if you aren't a letter writer I can't see any reason why you should start now.

RVCBride Posted: Nov 23, 2005 10:42 AM

Re: The non-givers.....

IMO I wouldn't send a thank you. Essentially you would be thanking them for accepting an invitation to come to a party. Thank you's are usually for gifts or kind gestures. And in this case it doesn't really apply.

nferrandi Posted: Nov 23, 2005 11:15 AM

Re: The non-givers.....

Posted by hocus

I know a lot of people send thank you notes to people who just attend, but I never made sense to me. Do you send thank you notes to people who just come over for dinner? When you go to a barbeque do you expect the hosts to write to you thanking you for coming.

.

Good point!

tray831 Posted: Nov 23, 2005 12:06 PM

Re: The non-givers.....

Well I did have an out of towner and a local guest who did not give us a card, and do plan on sending them a thank you card for coming.

If I send nothing, its forgotten about....so in a way, if I have a chance to make them think twice, I will do it. My message will be quite short, so when they see we're thanking them for coming.....maybe it will make it click that they can put a card in the mail.

To me, its worth a try. At this point, I have nothing left to lose.......