Totally Embarassed-- need advice on how to handle..

This weekend I had SIL's bridal shower. I had one of MIL's friends come up to me and say, I wanted to introduce myself because I was not able to attend your wedding-- oh, and btw did you ever get my wedding gift...

She proceeds to tell me she gave it to MIL-- who to put it nicely, forgets a lot of things and well, um, has a lot of stuff in her house-- anyway-- she explains the gift and while it sounds vaguely familiar-- I was so put off by the fact that she just straight up asked me about it-- I also planned and orchestrated the shower-- so I was totally preoccupied so I was not thinking straight. I just said- so I guess you never got a thank you note-- and she said no and of course, I profusely apologized.

Anyway-- I have no idea when this gift was actually given to me-- after the wedding I got extremely busy at work, I then started an incredibly demanding new job, bought an apt and moved-- all within a few months. This gift obviously slipped through the cracks- I looked for it today and of course I have it. I was SOOOO good about sending out TY's and now I feel absolutely horrible and now need to send this TY and I have no idea what to write-- when this woman was describing it to me-- she was just like, I just want to make sure you got it and now I am worried that you may have not-- and I just feel stupid.

How do I word this TY note now?

Dear Mrs. XXX:

It was truly a pleasure to meet you at SIL's shower. I really enjoyed chatting with you and I hope that you had a good time. After our conversation I returned home and found BLAH. It is beautiful and DH and I really enjoy X about it. Thank you so much for BLAH it fits perfectly into our decor/completes our collection of/fill in appropriate words here. I am so sorry for not properly thanking you for BLAH sooner. Between wedding planning, moving, relocating, and a new job it has been an eventful year. I just wanted to let you know that DH and I really love BLAH and are so glad that we can put a name and face to BLAH.

Love,

dont feel bad - it happens!

she didnt go to your wedding and its not like you are that close with the woman

to be honest if she really wanted a thank you note, she prob woyld have asked your MIL where her ty note is- she didnt so that means she genuinely wants to know if you received her gift


what was the gift? do you use it every day?
can you say you thought it was from someone else and maybe joke on the thank you note that someone else got credit for the lovely gift?

if you say what the gift was that would help me to orchestrate a better thank you note

Ok-- well here is the issue.. The gift is this long silver-ish bread tray or something like that. She told me it was hand made in Vermont. When she was describing the gift to me- it sounded familiar but I just kinda was like playing dumb-- because I really assumed that MIL did not give me the gift because how could I have not sent out a TY-- I was maniacal (sp?). So she was going on and on describing it to me-- and that is when I was like, ok-- did you get a TY...

It is not something I use every day-- I never even used it-- I actually probably will now because I remember that I have it! When I got home from the weekend- I looked for it and found it..

It's something I would use for entertaining to put like crackers or crostini on or something like that...

I was thinkign about saying somethin like- I looked through a couple of boxed that have not been unpacked yet-- and apologizing that it got lostin the shuffle and she didn't get a TY yet

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Posted by randella

Ok-- well here is the issue.. The gift is this long silver-ish bread tray or something like that. She told me it was hand made in Vermont. When she was describing the gift to me- it sounded familiar but I just kinda was like playing dumb-- because I really assumed that MIL did not give me the gift because how could I have not sent out a TY-- I was maniacal (sp?). So she was going on and on describing it to me-- and that is when I was like, ok-- did you get a TY...

It is not something I use every day-- I never even used it-- I actually probably will now because I remember that I have it! When I got home from the weekend- I looked for it and found it..

It's something I would use for entertaining to put like crackers or crostini on or something like that...

I was thinkign about saying somethin like- I looked through a couple of boxed that have not been unpacked yet-- and apologizing that it got lostin the shuffle and she didn't get a TY yet

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ohhh i think thats just fine! just say you had alot going on- and that it got put in a place away from your every day use- or that you accidentally put it in the pile of empty boxes and that you are soo glad she spoke to you and that you went and looked at it because now you will definitely use it!

dont worry, its not a big deal...and i am sure receiving a thank you note will be much appreciated by her

totally happens! it sounds like she was not snotty or annoyed about it. i would just be honest in the note and say 'I'm so sorry about the mixup with your gift! I feel terrible, but I'm glad we got a chance to speak and I have since found the gift, and it is absolutely lovely! ...blah blah.'

We just had a relative tell my grandmother she never got a thank you for the check she sent. I have NO record of getting anything form her - I really think she just THINKS she sent it, but didn't. Either way, I am not chancing it - I sent her a thank you and an apology.

Hope you are well Randi!!

oy! Rather than saying you just found it, can you play it off like the card was missing and you didn't know who gave it to you. Tell her you use it all the time while entertaining and that you are so happy that you finally found out who gave it to you?

I think you should definitely say in the TY how 'eventful' the past year has been and maybe say that thanks to your conversation at the shower, you were inspired to unpack the last remaining boxes from your move to see if you overlooked anything and, of course, you found her gift. I would then say what you said in one of the other posts - that you're really looking forward to using it at your housewarming (or other party) for serving crostini and what not. Good luck