TY Question - What to write to the non-gifters?

We have probably 10 people/couples that we didn't get anything from (not even a freaking CARD ) for the wedding. What do we say in their TY's?

Thank for sharing in our day. It was great to see you.

(and sometimes I would throw in a 'hope to see you soon' or 'it was great that you make the trip out from xxxx', etc)

I kept it simple -

Like Tourist said - 'Thanks for sharing in our day'

I had one no gifter ... my cousin is a known no-gifter - does it to everyone in the family ... even lied and said that I must have lost the card and she was sending a new check while I was on my honeymoon - I'm still waiting I'm not even sending a thank you because honestly I'm not even thankful that she, her husband and the stepson she begged to have come came to the wedding. My father paid for their hotel room and I paid for their dinner - the least she could have done was send a freakin $25 check So she gets nada from me!

---

Posted by tourist

Thank for sharing in our day. It was great to see you.

---

EXACTLY!!

'Thanks for eating and drinking all night on my dime, and not bringing a gift. It is much appreciated.'



Seriously, though, we did not send thank-you's to people who did not bring a gift.

---

Posted by randella

Wait a minute- you send a TY to people who did not get a gift?? That makes no sense.. what do you do when they eventually do send a gift-- people do have a year-- and some are not that on the ball.

---

BECAUSE THEY CAME TO YOUR WEDDING. You didn't get married to get gifts!!!!


Just write thank for sharing in our special day. Thats what I did.

---

Posted by june262004

---

Posted by randella

Wait a minute- you send a TY to people who did not get a gift?? That makes no sense.. what do you do when they eventually do send a gift-- people do have a year-- and some are not that on the ball.

---

BECAUSE THEY CAME TO YOUR WEDDING. You didn't get married to get gifts!!!!


Just write thank for sharing in our special day. Thats what I did.

---

Listen- I understand that.. but then when they do eventually send you a gift- you send another thank you?? Yes- the thank you note thanks the guests for coming AND the gift..

---

Posted by randella

Wait a minute- you send a TY to people who did not get a gift?? That makes no sense.. what do you do when they eventually do send a gift-- people do have a year-- and some are not that on the ball.

---

I sent the thank you with the photo to everyone who came to the wedding (gift or not) and everyone that sent us a gift who did not come to the wedding. Post-wedding, when we got a gift from someone that attended (I did get one or two later) I sent a regular boxed thank you card so they would know that we received it and it was appreciated.

For the non-gifters who came, I basically said the same as the other ladies 'thanks for sharing our day' or 'it meant a lot to us that you were there to celebrate with us.'

Oops, I just realized I didn't send TY's to the non gifters!
ETA: I got some gifts months after, so it actually worked out.

---

Posted by dpli

---

Posted by randella

Wait a minute- you send a TY to people who did not get a gift?? That makes no sense.. what do you do when they eventually do send a gift-- people do have a year-- and some are not that on the ball.

---

I sent the thank you with the photo to everyone who came to the wedding (gift or not) and everyone that sent us a gift who did not come to the wedding. Post-wedding, when we got a gift from someone that attended (I did get one or two later) I sent a regular boxed thank you card so they would know that we received it and it was appreciated.

For the non-gifters who came, I basically said the same as the other ladies 'thanks for sharing our day' or 'it meant a lot to us that you were there to celebrate with us.'

---

Did you wait to send out to non-gifters TY's in case they did send a gift-- I just know that sometimes people are a little late with it- and some people just don't give-- but I think it would be weird to send a TY out, then another one so soon after in case you did get a gift.. I mean, my wedding was just 3 weeks ago.. so, maybe it is a little soon. I'll just hold onto those a little while longer-- we are still getting gifts in the mail.

I always have believed that TY cards are to thank people for a gift and not for coming to a wedding. Personally i feel my TY to come to my wedding was the free food, drink, favor and music the person enjoyed.

I had i think around 10 non gifters too (one did give me a card with no gift and i sent a TY to them). I did not send any type of TY card to any of them who gave us nothing.

I have gotten 2 gifts from those 10 over the past three months and just sent them a regular TY card (no pic of us - I don't have any left).

Its really a personal decision.....and i personally don't think those people deserve my cost of the card and stamp as well as an effort to fill out a card when they could not have the common decency to go out and get me even a 99 cent card to congratulate me and DH. You get what you give!!

---

Posted by suven

Well, for the couple who brought their uninvited, adult son, and gave us $65, we wrote, 'It was nice seeing all of you on our special day and we hope that you all enjoyed yourselves'

---

Omg Sue I couldn't help but LOL at that one!!!



I agree with Tourist - keep it simple and very short -- 'Thank you for sharing in our day' is perfect.

---

Posted by SeptWed

I always have believed that TY cards are to thank people for a gift and not for coming to a wedding. Personally i feel my TY to come to my wedding was the free food, drink, favor and music the person enjoyed.

---

I agree.

---

Posted by randella

---

Posted by dpli

---

Posted by randella

Wait a minute- you send a TY to people who did not get a gift?? That makes no sense.. what do you do when they eventually do send a gift-- people do have a year-- and some are not that on the ball.

---

I sent the thank you with the photo to everyone who came to the wedding (gift or not) and everyone that sent us a gift who did not come to the wedding. Post-wedding, when we got a gift from someone that attended (I did get one or two later) I sent a regular boxed thank you card so they would know that we received it and it was appreciated.

For the non-gifters who came, I basically said the same as the other ladies 'thanks for sharing our day' or 'it meant a lot to us that you were there to celebrate with us.'

---

Did you wait to send out to non-gifters TY's in case they did send a gift-- I just know that sometimes people are a little late with it- and some people just don't give-- but I think it would be weird to send a TY out, then another one so soon after in case you did get a gift.. I mean, my wedding was just 3 weeks ago.. so, maybe it is a little soon. I'll just hold onto those a little while longer-- we are still getting gifts in the mail.

---

Well, I sent the thank yous out about 2.5-3 months after the wedding, so we did get a few gifts in the mail from people during that time (mostly those who didn't come) and we got a very generous gift from a close family member at Christmas (we were married in November) - I think they were just more comfortable giving it to us in person when it was not the wedding day.

It is still so soon after your wedding to send them (but I commend you on the effort!), I would wait on the non-gifters for a month or two and then decide. We were lucky, we only had 3 people not give, and in one case, I had no problem with it, I was just so happy to see them at the wedding.

I sent thank yous to everyone who attended the wedding - gift or not.
if someone sends you a gift after the wedding....you can always send them another thank you card.....stamps aren't that expensive!