TYs for no gift

When sending thank yous, do you send them all together or wait a little while for the non-gifters?

It's kinda strange - but we have at least 10 couples/people who didn't give a gift.

I know there's a 1 year time to give a gift...but we don't expect any of those to eventually give one since they are still in school or just getting started.

Thanks!

PS - We are so happy to have sent most of them out this morning!

Re: TYs for no gift

I wouldn't send it now. But, keep a bunch of blank ones and some extra thank-you photos on hand in case they do send one later on. Then, you'll be prepared.

Re: TYs for no gift

So, I shouldn't send a thanks for sharing our day one? They are all close friends (including 2 BMs)...

I don't want some people to get a TY and not others if they weren't going to send one anyway.

But I also don't want them to think 'well, its too late, here's yout TY'

Sticky...

Re: TYs for no gift

Maybe I'm not getting something but I am only sending thank you notes for gifts that we got. If we didn't get a gift from someone, then they won't get a thank you note because I see thank you notes as a way to thank someone for a gift.

If we get a gift later on, then a thank you note will go out then. Gifts often come late- one of my best friends just got a wedding gift on her 1 year anniversary from a couple who forgot to give her one at the wedding. So, she sent the thank you note as soon as she got the gift.

I don't think thank you notes need to all go out at the same time. I am doing a few each night and they go in the mail as soon as I finish them.

Re: TYs for no gift

Did these people give you a card?

My grandmother sent me a card, no gift, and did not attend.

My thank you cards only have our names on them. So, inside I am just going to write something along the lines of 'We hope you enjoy the photo, and thank you for sending the lovely card.'

IMO, if you didn't get a gift OR even a card, I wouldn't send a thank you.

But, I honestly don't know. Everyone who attended my wedding also gave us a gift. I guess I'd send a 'thank's for sharing our day card' if I had a guest who didn't give a gift...

Re: TYs for no gift

I went to Verseit.com and found some TY verses that seemed appropriate for them just being there....they deserve something.

Re: TYs for no gift

I am planning on sending a ty to everyone who attended. Just thanking them for coming to our wedding if they did notgive a gift.
We actually got a gift of $25 dollars from one couple. JMO but if I could not afford mroe than that, I would have just given nothing. I think I am oging to just thank them for coming to the wedding as well.

Re: TYs for no gift

I think you need to send a thank you out to everyone who either came to your wedding, or was unable to attend, but sent a gift anyway.
Even if the people couldn't afford to give you a gift, or didn't think to bring one, they took time out of their lives to spend the day with you for your wedding.....and they deserve a thank you in return.
JMO

Also, I didn't send all of the thank yous out at the same time, i wrote a few a night and sent them when they were done

Re: TYs for no gift

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Posted by palebride

I think you need to send a thank you out to everyone who either came to your wedding, or was unable to attend, but sent a gift anyway.
Even if the people couldn't afford to give you a gift, or didn't think to bring one, they took time out of their lives to spend the day with you for your wedding.....and they deserve a thank you in return.
JMO

Also, I didn't send all of the thank yous out at the same time, i wrote a few a night and sent them when they were done

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Thanks palebride, I thought I was crazy for thinking this way. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't breaking any rule/offending anyone by doing this.

I personally think just coming is a gift - and that's what I told people who were concerned about $.

We'll get the rest out ASAP!

Re: TYs for no gift

my reasoning behind it is that i had a bridesmaid who i have been friends with for over 10 years...she is one of the most important people in my life, but has serious financial problems.....

she didn't give us a gift....and she feels terribly guilty about it. everytime i see her, she tells me that she will get us a gift, she just cant' swing it now.

and i keep telling her, that her gift to us was being there, and being in our pictures and videos and having a good time with us. we don't need money or a gift of any kind.....that's not why we invited her!

and as soon as we get our thank you pictures, she will be getting a special 'thank you for being in our wedding' thank you, along with a picturem which only certain people are getting.

Re: TYs for no gift

One of my BM didn't give a gift, I just sent a card thanking her for sharing in my day.

Re: TYs for no gift

Speaking from experience, you should send a thank you for sharing your day. I didn't send thank you's to the non-gifters and I regret it. I really should have just sent one. If a gift comes after, just send another just without a picture. It's a strange situation if you send one to everyone else and the non-gifter sees it.

Re: TYs for no gift

We DID NOT send thank yous to the stiffers....my feeling was that if they had balls enought to come and not give a gift (not even a card) then I could have the same set of balls and not send them a gift. Now if you had a friend that came and you know she just didn't have the money and she was a great friend to you then yes I would thank them fr coming...but very rarely is that the case...Some people just don't have any class.

Re: TYs for no gift

I don't see any of these people as 'stiffers.' They all contributed to the party by enjoying themselves and spreading their happiness to others. Their additude was infectious.

Re: TYs for no gift

I only had one couple come to my wedding who did not give a gift...I didn't send a TY to them...it's a friend of my DH (and I don't really like him anyway).

Re: TYs for no gift

I agree with Palebride - I think the gift is sharing your special day with you. Some people can't afford to cover their plate. I wouldn't NOT invite them because I knew they wouldn't give me a sufficient gift and I would want to thank them for coming.

But if there were some who attended, that I knew could well afford a gift - and didn't send one... then I might not send them a thank you.