Unemployed newlyweds

I know there are a bunch of us out there who are either unemployed or have an unemployed spouse.

How do you deal with house cleaning? Does the person who is unemployed get stuck with it all?

It has felt like the past month I have been doing most of the cleaning and DH expects that I do it!!! I know that I am home all day, but I a good majority or my day is spent sending resumes, following up on resumes or searching for job opportunities. Yes, I spend time here on LIW, but I did that at work too

If you are the wife of an unemployed husband, do you expect him to do everything in the house?

I am starting to feel like I am a housewife and I am not!!

If my husband were unemployed, I would definitely expect him to do all the housework. And if I were unemployed, I would expect that I do the same.

No one likes to do housework but I think it makes sense that the person with the most time do most of it.

Thats how it would work in my house at least.

If I were unemployed, he would probably expect me to do it all..

I put in more hours than DH and he does more around the apartment then I do.

When you do get a job, you'll probably need to re-negotiate the whole chores issue- he may get used to you doing most of it, which may be ok for now but when you have a job again it should be more even.

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Posted by jozieb0925

If I were unemployed, he would probably expect me to do it all..

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Since I am employed and expected to do it all, I am sure I would be expected to keep the place spotless if I wasn't working! But in all fairness, I wouldn't have a problem doing it all if I was home. It's just easier to throw in wash, work at computer for an hour, throw in dryer, take a 5 minute break to unload dishes, etc.

If I was unemployed I would do all the housework and not have an issue with it. On days when DH works from home, I expect him to tidy up during his free time.
On the other hand, I would be mad if I was unemployed and DH decided to become a total slob and expect me to pick up after him. Keeping the house tidy and being someone's maid are two totally different things!

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Posted by xjulietx

I don't mind doing the laundry and loading the dishwasher, but I guess what I do mind is the fact that he seems to think that just because I am home, I should clean up after him. He gets up from eating breakfast and leaves his cereal bowl, coffee cup and juice glass on the table, with the chair pulled out and runs to work, expecting that I will clean up after him. I know I am home and should be cleaning and I do, but I resent having to clean up after the messes that he makes.

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Well that's another thing. I wouldn't want to pick up his messes ever. Cleaning and being a slob are two different things, and it does sound like he is taking advantage if he won't even put a glass away anymore.

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Posted by nov04LIbride

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Posted by jozieb0925

If I were unemployed, he would probably expect me to do it all..

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Since I am employed and expected to do it all, I am sure I would be expected to keep the place spotless if I wasn't working!

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I am employed, work more hours then he and still do a large majority of the work in the house. Even when he does do something, he only does about half...I don't think the man ever put a dish away in his life...he must think they sprout wings and fly up to the shelves.

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Posted by xjulietx

I don't mind doing the laundry and loading the dishwasher, but I guess what I do mind is the fact that he seems to think that just because I am home, I should clean up after him. He gets up from eating breakfast and leaves his cereal bowl, coffee cup and juice glass on the table, with the chair pulled out and runs to work, expecting that I will clean up after him. I know I am home and should be cleaning and I do, but I resent having to clean up after the messes that he makes.

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Him being rude and leaving the bowl and stuff on the table is just disrespectful IMO!! That would tick me off too!

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Posted by swags1016

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Posted by xjulietx

I don't mind doing the laundry and loading the dishwasher, but I guess what I do mind is the fact that he seems to think that just because I am home, I should clean up after him. He gets up from eating breakfast and leaves his cereal bowl, coffee cup and juice glass on the table, with the chair pulled out and runs to work, expecting that I will clean up after him. I know I am home and should be cleaning and I do, but I resent having to clean up after the messes that he makes.

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Him being rude and leaving the bowl and stuff on the table is just disrespectful IMO!! That would tick me off too!

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I completely agree...instead of cleaning it up why not serve his dinner in it along with a nice glass of wine. Maybe he will get the hint!

I guess part of me feels bad about complaining about him because he has been so understanding about my layoff and he has been supportive and not pushing me to take 'any job', he wants me to find something that I want. The other part of me thinks he likes having a house wife as I prepare meals, tidy up, and he doesn't have to get up early to take me to the train like he used to.

I know I should be looking for meanginful work to have a career, but part of me wants to get back out there and have some sort of job.

as a recent unemployed.. yeah I do the housework when Im home. But I just got laid off a day ago.

Housework lets me feel like im being useful.

Still when he's home he shares just like we used to. Dinner dishes dont happen when he's not home, but I do drop off dry cleaning and such

He doesnt 'expect' it of me. I do.

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Posted by Anniegrl
Keeping the house tidy and being someone's maid are two totally different things!

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Agreed and if you are feeling this way then you need to speak to him. He may not even realize you feel this way / he is doing this to you.

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Posted by Xelindrya

as a recent unemployed.. yeah I do the housework when Im home. But I just got laid off a day ago.

Housework lets me feel like im being useful.

Still when he's home he shares just like we used to. Dinner dishes dont happen when he's not home, but I do drop off dry cleaning and such

He doesnt 'expect' it of me. I do.

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oh no! I am sorry to hear that Veronica!

and Juliet, there are still some things that I wouldn't do even if I was home all the time. DH is in charge of the bills, b/c he is better qat it. And lightsbulbs, b /c he is taller. BUt things liek laundry, he does, b/c I don't get home early enough, but if I were home I'd do it.

Im a SAHM and DH makes the money for our family. I am, as some see it, unemployed and DH expects me to keep the house presentable. LUCKILY since I do have 2 kids under 3 he understands that I too need some help so I have someone to come do a major cleaning once a week.

It keeps BOTH of our sanities because honestly I dont want to clean the house 24-7 which it feels like I do with 2 kids and he gets to come home to a super clean house 1x a week.

I have a cousin who doesnt like to work. She will work for like a month and then not work again for like 4 years (no joke). She recently had a baby (we all swear it was because her younger sister had one she wasnt getting the attention that she always needs) so now she is against working but at the same time she lives in a one bedroom apt and complains cause she can't get out. Well if she got a job she could ANYWAY back on topic (she just annoys the crap me) All she does is complain cause her husband wont help her with anything. He doesnt help alot with the baby (which I think he should help a little its his son too) and he doesnt help around the house but I feel like if I didn't work (and struggling for money) I would have a clean house.

But then I get annoyed with my DH because he doesnt help a lot. And when I say something he says but you work part time and I get annoyed so I understand were you are coming from.