Venting over here...

Ok ladies, I am sorry for being debbie downer and I will make it snappy. I know I wrote about how my parents are getting a divorce. Well the papers are finally drawn up and they are going to sign them this week. My dad went to florida this weekend to look for a place to live. When my mom called me today to tell me that they will be signing the papers, she started hysterically crying because she thought he would come back and have changed his mind. I tried to explain to her that she wouldnt want to be with him anymore after all of this anyway...she gets it but she just feels so sad and keeps saying that she feels like a failure. I feel terrible. Listening to a parent weep is horrible. I dont know what to do. I feel so helpless in this situation. I am so angry at my dad. Not because he wants out but because he is such a *******. He left this weekend..didnt tell ayone what flight he was taking, where he was staying, when he was coming back. Hes just being so smug and awful about all of this. UGh it is drivingme crazy. I just want it to be over with!

not to mention (totally unrelated...) operation gain muscle has begun..I am eating more than I have in years and am feeling so gross! Agh! I think i must be getting my period too...Im way emotional and anxioius lol.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading

Anytime you turn into the parent, becomes a heartbreaking experience. Trust me. Whether its over divorce , or an argument, its hard. It tears you appart because its personal...its the person who gave you life and who you will always have a connection with...

And then when that person isbeing hurt by the other person who brought you up- and that persons bein a jerk- it makes you feel crummy... Like, why cant YOU make her feel better like she's always made you feel.

Theres never an easy thing to say, never a easy thing to do, its just all about you... being there to hear her...and it sounds like that is exactly what you're doing...

Love u

One of my best friends parents got a divorce after mannny years of hating each other. I know my friend hated her father for leaving (he moved to California!). And her mom was hurting. Now we're about 3-4 years after they separated & the whole family is doing much better. Her mom learned how to move on - changed the house around & is even dating now.

Things will get better!

The divorce part, I dont really know what that feels like...
The consoling & having your mom sob to you - I do.
All you can do is just be there for her. Be there for each other.

And always feel free to vent

I was actually just thinking of you today.. I was going to ask how things are going!!

So sorry you have to go through this. It is a very tough spot to be in, once roles are reversed and a parent is actually looking to you for comfort.

I have had to console my mom too many times, especially lately.

There is really no advice I can give. And in a way, I wish that your mom would try to confide in her friends you know. SInce it is your dad. I know for me, it is much easier to play the kid role. Not the adult kid role.

There is really nothing you can do to make it better. But it is important that you have and outlet for your feelings, since it may not be wise to put that on your mom.

So make sure you keep telling Brad how you feel and please continue to vent away here.

This will be the first of many.

awww... i'm so sorry... i wish i have something valuable to contribute in terms of advice, etc.. but i don't... i just send you many many hugs and want you to know that if you just keep venting and talking about how you feel and you'll be okay through this...

i'm sorry you're going through this. i totally understand how hard it is to see a parent cry. i had the same thing with my mom. hang in there! it will be ok!!

Im so sorry mama

oh lauren..im so sorry for all of this...

i can't imagine the pain seeing ur mom weep like that...i think the ebst thing u can do for her right now is to just be there for her..be that shoulder to cry on..it might all be hitting her now that this is all really happening and she is just adjusting now

u know im here for u 24/7 if u ever need anything'

call/text/email come over..whatever u need

Oh lauren i feel terrible! im sure its hard to hear your mom upset over this...what she needs to know that in the long run this will be better off for her...

are you close with your dad? can you talk to him maybe about being a little more understanding of the situation?? like whether or not he wants out, this is still a hard thing to deal with even if it was mutual.

hugs!!!!
if you need anything you know im here to listen!!!

and with the feeling gross part! its going to be an adjustment...when you see those muscles you are going to realize it was all for the best!!
ive been feeling gross, but thats cuz i all the extra rolls im gaining! LOL

Lauren ... what a tough situation. I can't imagine what it is like to go through your parents' divorce as an adult. I was 10 when mine split and I'm sure wasn't aware of everything going on.

I hesitate to say this because I don't want to upset you or for you to think I'm being negative in any way, but I wonder how constructive it is for your mom to seek you out when she's so upset. Even though you're an adult and are capable of formulating your own thoughts and feelings, I wonder being your mom's primary support system and listening to her vents are healthy for you. I feel like it's kind of putting you in the middle, you know? I mean, you are upset with your dad independently of what your mom says, of course, but I wonder if, at the end of the day, your mom should seek out a friend or a non-daughter family member to speak with. I just worry for you that it's going to make your situation down the line even stickier.

At any rate, I'm so sorry your family is going through this right now. If you need to vent or anything, feel free to FM me, and I'm sorry if I've said anything to upset you.

Thanks for your kind words girls. It just stinks. I am not close with my dad at all. I love him becasue he is my dad and that is about it. He was never there for us as kids, never wanted to be involved and really knows nothing about me. I hold a lot of anger towards him and I think most of it is from my own thinking but I am sure some of my mom's words over the years have helped. I know she shouldnt relaly be talking to me, and she knows it too, she says it...but i feel like she doesnt know where else to turn. I know this is all for the best, believe me...i just wish it could be done already...but it's only just beginning!

Thanks for the support ladies, yhou are so wonderful.

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Thanks for your kind words girls. It just stinks. I am not close with my dad at all. I love him becasue he is my dad and that is about it. He was never there for us as kids, never wanted to be involved and really knows nothing about me. I hold a lot of anger towards him and I think most of it is from my own thinking but I am sure some of my mom's words over the years have helped. I know she shouldnt relaly be talking to me, and she knows it too, she says it...but i feel like she doesnt know where else to turn. I know this is all for the best, believe me...i just wish it could be done already...but it's only just beginning!

Thanks for the support ladies, yhou are so wonderful.

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You sound like me...
My dad had 'problems' when i was younger which led to me growing up with my grandparents and mother- while he was at work, or we would stay there...

It wasnt until recently, when he almost died, that he began to change and we have a, semi-relationship.

If that hadn't happened though, I don't know what would have happened. I used to pray for them to separate... but... nothing :(

SO i totally get u lauren. Trust me...And i know, its hard, esp when its your mom...

Sent you fm