very upset...long post... [update]

Wow I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine what you are going through! So is he at his parents and your at yours?

wow! I dont really know what to say, if it were me DH would move his asss regardless of what he wanted. I think some men forget that when you get married you now have your own life to deal with, no one says you cant see and spend time with your parents (ILs) but there is a point when they need to grow up. I would ask him what the issue is with him living in a grown up world-and live with his wife.

Wow I dont know what to say except you are so right to be mad I would be livid I cant believe your situation its just crazy he sounds like he was so baby'd and is not ready to leave the nest. Im so sorry I dont have any advice b/c I dont know what I would do. Did he act like this before?

yup hes at his parents house
and im at my parents house

and we have a brand spankin new house...waiting for us...but he cant make the step and 'move'

and to top it all off...i packed up and left...and his mom not once was like ohh howcome u guys arent moving??? i told her i cant even study here for my law exams n stuff, shes always making me cook or clean and being nosy....

and they dont support him to be independent, they BABY him..they tell him how much they love him when hes home etc etc...wth..he has a WIFE for gods sake....

im at my mother house now...i guess maybe he'll realize....

Wow it sounds like his mother is like guilt tripping him she sounds a little coo coo like she wants him to stay and be with her and Dad wants him to go

shes is very needy...and 'cant let him go'

but hes MY HUSBAND...
and when i was walking out...shes like i know u wont be able to last much long without him, i think you'll come back...and i was like maybe...

but im NOT going back

I am so sorry. Maybe you leaving is the best thing. Maybe it will make him realize he needs to grow the hell up or he is going to loose his wife. I think you did the right thing and I am sure he will come around. Hopefully he will also see that your FREE house is only 5 minutes away so he can still se his family all the time. I wish I could give you a hug. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sorry!!!!!

---

Posted by Christys0925

I am so sorry. Maybe you leaving is the best thing. Maybe it will make him realize he needs to grow the hell up or he is going to loose his wife. I think you did the right thing and I am sure he will come around. Hopefully he will also see that your FREE house is only 5 minutes away so he can still se his family all the time. I wish I could give you a hug. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sorry!!!!!

---

Well said and I so agree!!

Why are you at your mothers house, why don't you stay at the new house? Your DH staying at his parent's house without you is not normal. 24 really isn't that young it's time to cut that chord and move out and for him to join his new family. Hope his night without you makes him learn.

thanks
his intention is nice, he wants to take care of his parents...but honestly theyre not ill, they can take care of themselves...theyre doing just fine... i mean hes gona stay at home because he wants to take out the trash every night???

i dont know... he just so cozy and comfortable in his spot, his room, his house, he doesnt wana pick up and change everything and move...hes being so immature!! i miss him, but im glad i left

---

Posted by luvabul

i miss him, but im glad i left

---

Good For you!! He WILL realize he cannot live without you!! I am sure of it. Let me know if you ever need to talk.

maybe his parents are pressuring him to stay bc they like that him living there..so now hes stuck b/n you and his parents and doesnt know what to do.

i dont know the whole story but from limited info...he needs to take that next step with you and move into the new place. he can still care for his parents since youre not far.

im sorry youre dealing with this.

i it works out for you guys!!!!

You guys seem to have a lot of issues. Did your DH understand what marriage meant before he took the vows because it really doesn't seem like it. Maybe you should look into counseling. An outsider who who is impartial could maybe help to point out that him staying home and leaving you is not normal. I think by you going to stay with your mom it makes him think him staying with his mom is okay. I hope you work ths out soon.

yeah all along the place was being renovated, hes like dont worry baby were moving, just a little bit more time...and now when its DONE...hes like having second thoughts... i dunno

and his parents dont encourage the whole situation either....

---

Posted by luvabul

yeah all along the place was being renovated, hes like dont worry baby were moving, just a little bit more time...and now when its DONE...hes like having second thoughts... i dunno

and his parents dont encourage the whole situation either....

---

Wow There are def some issues . You def dont deserve to go through this and I agree with the statement above going to counseling

DH doesnt believe in counseling.....

wow, that s ucks!!! His mother needs to stop the way she's acting because she's only making him want to stay more. Doesn't she realize she could ruin her son's marriage???? I know it can be hard to move away from your family, but 5 minutes away is not a big deal at all! Hopefully after a few days of being without you he (AND his MOTHER) will realize that he needs to make the move! Good luck!!!

---

Posted by PegaLega

wow! I dont really know what to say, if it were me DH would move his asss regardless of what he wanted. I think some men forget that when you get married you now have your own life to deal with, no one says you cant see and spend time with your parents (ILs) but there is a point when they need to grow up. I would ask him what the issue is with him living in a grown up world-and live with his wife.

---

yea - same here. First....you need to TALK - NOT argue - and explain that u guys are now grown adults & MARRIED & have your own life to start. I'd also explain to him how unhappy u are living there...dont make it about HIS mother & HIS father...make it more about how u were really looking forward to starting ur life together on your own - because that's what marraige is about...and yes there are adjustments but how will u ever adjust when u dont let it happen(???). I'm sure if u talk to him hopefully he will see that you're unhappy & being that he loves u & ur his wife, he'll come to reality. Remind him that marraige is about adjusting & compromise & starting a life...I'd also make him realize that this is the opportunity of a lifetime...You get to be on your own, AND it gives you guys time to save for ur future...what other newly married couple has that fall right into their lap?!?!! it's silly not to jump on the opportunity!! And honestly try your hardest not to fight or play the blame game because it can lead to him being resentful & miserable & then u guys will just go back & forth. Tell him u understand his want to take care of his parents, and that he can still do that - but that doesn't mean you guys can't have ur own living space... I wish u the best of luck with this & hope u guys can work this out....he's really being childish & needs to grow up. Have a heart to heart with him & let us know how it goes.

That STINKS.....and is a big problem. If you think about it in a positive light...that's a sweet son: he'll help take care of his parents...but the parents are only going to get OLDER and SICKER.

One town over is a nice compromise.

I can't tell if the house will be given to you, or you guys will live rent-free. If the house is given to you, you can tell him that this is an amazing investment. If rent-free...you STICK your ground and tell him that you need separation.

Cut the umbilical cord!!!!!!!