Another year older today! And DH...well, he forgot. Figures.
Anyways, for my question today, what is the biggest compromise that you have made in your marriage?
For me, it is definitely religion. I'm a non-practicing Catholic and DH is very devout Greek Orthodox. We were married in the Greek church because if we weren't, he'd be excommunicated. Our children must be baptized Orthodox...or else excommunication. That I'm OK with, because I don't have strong ties to my own religion. We also agreed that we would go to church maybe once every 3 weeks or so, not every week. But now that Lent is upon us, I'm starting to have issues, because DH fasts, and now I'm being forced to as well, or else cook two meals every Friday as well as the full week leading up to Easter. I don't like the idea that I have to follow the dogma that I don't agree with. He also wants to go to church every week leading up to Easter, and I have to go too because it 'looks bad' if the wife doesn't come. I don't mind every few weeks, but I don't like the idea of going every week, and I hate that idea that I'm FORCED to. He wants me to eventually convert, because I can't receive communion now, but it's not a wafer like Catholic, it's bread in a chalice of wine that gets spooned to you, and alcohol killing germs or not, I severely have issues with that taking from the same spoon as strangers. So I said I won't do it, and DH says if I do convert, it will look bad if I don't, so I'm stuck. Eventually, when we're older, and one of us dies...we can't get buried together unless I convert. So it's a big issue and a big compromise that I have to come to terms with.
So, what is the biggest compromise that you have had to make?
GT143EA
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
The only compromise i had to make was things involving his son and the fact that Im not always going to be put first. Im not going to lie, it hasnt been easy! And as some of you know SS is a very difficult child.
Gina- I love you! You are one of the most amazing women I have ever met! Tommy is just as lucky to have you as you are to have him!
geegee827
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
Wow! Gina you and Tommy are absolutely amazing! I know lots of girls on here have said it but it's true!
Honestly, I don't think either DH or I have had to compromise all that much on big stuff. Sure we have to learn to live with each other but one of the reasons that our relationship works is that we are both so similar and share the same values.
Probably the biggest compromise for us is learning how to share. We were both single for so long that it's hard to adjust to having to share everything. DH is definitely better at sharing than I am. He just assumes everything is 'ours' and is ok with that. I, on the other hand, almost had a heart attack when he said he wanted an American Express card from my account!
MrsJuneB2B
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
wow... first ali, i'm sorry DH forgot your b-day... :o( and also it sounds like that's a lot to deal with, but i hope that with time, you can both come to some sort of compromise... but i'm sorry it's so difficult. that's a lot to deal with i'm sure.
and gina, all i can do is echo the sentiments from everyone else... and i think that's amazing and i send you so many 's!!!
gosh, there are so many wonderful girls on LIW... i don't have that many friends, but i feel very lucky to have gotten to know those of you that i have even though it's only through the computer... it'll be that much more exciting to meet you girls at the luncheon!!!
for me/us... the compromises are relatively small at the moment... DH has had to live up here, while most of his family has moved down to NC. but he really didn't want to follow them at the time anyway... and besides that, we sorta just compromise on lifestyle... in terms of taking care of the house, chores, dishes, crappola like that... i guess i know how lucky i am and definitely don't take that for granted.
alli3131
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
We haven't really had to compromise on anything except the timing for having kids. DH is 7 years younger than me so he would like to wait a bit longer and I had to wait about 6mons longer than I would have liked to start trying but that is the only thing I could think of.
gina409
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
no more tears lol..i have to stop
but i really do appreciate everything u guys said
love u all
little34
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
Ali I am so sorry...it seems you have a lot to deal with lately! Hopefully things get better for you!!! BIG HUG!!!
I think we both kind of had to compromise throughout our relationship because our personalities are totally different....I am very organized..OCD and he is so laid back so we def have to work on not totally annoying the other person with our ways of getting things done. And I think DH had to compromise a lot last year when my mom was dieing of cancer....i just was not around physically and emotionally for him and he stuck with it and did everything he could do to help me, mom, and my whole family. He was the rock we all needed when we just were at the ends of our ropes.
jeanettelovesjason
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
I have to say there really wasn't much we had to compromise on. I have a very strong faith and beliefs and Dh was raised Catholic but doesnt practice but he lets me be open and accepts what I believe. We both have broken families so trying to spend time with all 4 sets gets hard sometimes especially around the holidays but we do what we gotta do whether we like it or not cause thats what marriage is all about compromise and sacrifice
springsandra
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
Awww Ali, I'm so sorry about what you've been going through -- somehow it will all work out in a way that you are comfortable and feel good about. And Gina, wow -- you are an amazing person with a heart of gold! I admire all you women so much for what you do.
The biggest compromise has been moving away from my mets. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this season. I miss some things about NY but not much... but once baseball season starts, I think I'm going to be more sad about being so far away.
MrsDtoBe09
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Not moving to NC - my sister is here with her family and my mom and dad will eventually move down too.
NikkiR515
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DH had to make a HUGE compromise when my stepdad was sick...As his disease progressed, he became unable to move a whole side of his body..He was bed ridden and DH and I would visit him almost every night after work and on weekends..It got to the point where my mom could not lift him and Mike would do SO much for him, even carry him to the bathroom when he needed to go...He proved to me just how much he loves not only me, but my entire family, and that in itself made me know he was a keeper. I don't think I could be half as strong as he was (both physically and emotionally) and I will always be grateful for the sacrifices he made that year and a half of our lives.
My compromises are so much less significant. DH has epilepsy so sometimes he will have seizures and stuff so I have to be patient with him when he is having 'episodes'. Sometimes this will happen during events (ie: the day of my brother's bday party one year) and I try to be understanding and will stay home with him and make sure he is okay. His medicine also causes him to be extra forgetful at times and it makes me but I try to accept that it a part of him and that is the way it will be.
Amberrenee6705
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Re: Wednesday QOTD
Mine would definitly be timing. DH is always very precise with his time...must have EVERYTHING planned ahead of time, always on a time limit....it just seems like we're always rushing around and not enjoying ourselves when we do stuff together. Im a more relaxed person, I can get up and go on a whim...I like to enjoy my time with my family and friends. So when we do things together...were usually in and out. Boo...
