what would you do? awkward situation...

An old friend of ours (who in the past couple years has become less close - moved away, etc.) invited us to his wedding in PA. At the time that the response was due, we were in limbo because hubby was fairly sure he had a job offer in VA and we were already planning to move there. The wedding was planned for the very weekend we'd probably have to move if it was going to happen. I called my friend and told him the situation and asked if we can possibly play it by ear. I really wanted to be there for him, but if we had to move that weekend, we just couldn't do it. He was totally understanding and I was very apologetic about the situation.

Anyway, the job fell through and we wound up not moving, and I called my friend as soon as we found out to tell him we'd love to come to the wedding. I left him a message on his ans. mach. and then e-mailed him with the good news.

...WELL, he replied to my e-mail telling me that it's just too late for him to add us to the guest list so we can't come! IMO if we really wanted to add 2 guests to our list last minute, our caterer would NEVER say NO! And the best part is that their reception was a buffet dinner!

SOOO the question is - should we send them a gift? IF so, how much? Our other friends have basically told us NOT to send a gift, but I feel weird about that. They say we were basically 'uninvited' so we should just send a card as if we were never invited in the first place.

What would you do?

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I think it's disgraceful of them to react like that. If in fact the latest deadline for the caterer passed there are nice ways of saying it!

I wouldnt send anything.

I'm sorry that they reacted this way

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I think your friend is being very unfair, but perhaps he had a lot more yes RSVP then he orginally thought and now doesn't know what to do. If it were me I would be the better person and send a small gift, not money though, along with a card. I am sure you will not see much of him anyway but it if you want to show you share his happiness it is nice.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I would send a small gift from their registry (about $50). That's completly shady though how you were uninvited, that's why I would keep the gift small.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I would send a small gift with a card wishing them well.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

Small gift from the registry or just a small gift $$ with a nice card.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

Send a card and simple gift/cash amount. Don't stoop to the level of others, rise to your own!

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

Even though I think your friend was wrong to go about it like this, I still think you should send a gift.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I agree with the ladies ... I'd send a small gift off the registry and a nice card. I totally think what he did was rude and I would be hurt if I was you ... my hall would have took an additional 2 people up until a couple of days before, so IMO his excuse is not valid.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

small gift off registry. it's not worth losing a friend over. it's so hard to tell what was going on....

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

Maybe your friend is hurt that you didnt make their wedding more a priority for you. Thats the only reason I could think of that would make him respond in such a way.

If this person is a true friend, maybe have a little talk to clear the air.

And i would definitely send a gift.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I would send a gift.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I would sent them a gift also.

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I would also send a small gift. Probably a gift certificate to wherever they are registered

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

i would send a small gift- your friend is the groom right? maybe more going on here and the bride can't deal...

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I wouldn't send him SQUAT...if you were on the 'original' guest list then you and hubby would have a seat right???? Sounds like you've been bumped!!

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

another vote for sending a little gift...

if there is something going on (that you don't know about) then he'll still know that you care...

if he is just being a d*ck...then you prove that you are the better person and make him feel bad..


I would try first for a small gift...cash would be the last option...imo

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

I too would send a small gift off the registry. No money. I would say something in the card like, sorry you didn't end up having room for us at your wedding. (I guess I'm a little immature)

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

LMAO!!

just to clear things up here.... there was NEVER anything going on between him and me!!!

Thanks all for your advice....I've been leaning towards sending a gift actually. (even though the $ situation is TIGHT)!

If I don't I'll feel guilty and if I DO they'll feel guilty

Re: what would you do? awkward situation...

Michelle ... I would probably put that in the card too!

And Sara ... maybe Phyl meant that you are just so gorgeous that the bride was jealous!