What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT

My stepbrother is married with 2 kids. His wife I have never cared for.....only her family matters!

First some background...

She RSVP'd that she was coming to my shower & then didn't. She sent a gift (small tupperware set) with my stepmother but had no excuse for not attending.

A week past my wedding RSVP date still nothing so I wait a few days & call & she tells me shes not sure yet because her mother is planning her sisters bridal shower (she can't tell her 'just don't do it on the 13th because my SIL is getting married?) . She waited until a week before the wedding when I HAD TO CALL HER AGAIN to tell me they weren't coming because it was her sisters shower. My stepbrother didn't even come to my wedding. He could have come without his B@#$%^ wife but I guess he had to stay home with the kids (my niece & nephew who don't even know me) that my stepmother tried to convince me to have at my wedding & I refused because I had no kids but my FG & his kids are wild! So not only did they not come but didn't send a gift (which I don't care about) or even a card (that I care about----just rude, I think)!

Fast forward to today....

DH & I get an invitation in the mail to their son's 1st Communion. I never hear from them otherwise to the point that I have stopped sending xmas cards because they never even send one back. First of all DH & I will be away the day of the communion but I don't even want to RSVP. See how she likes it!!!!!! I also don't want to send a gift because I honestly think that is the only reason we were invited.

ETA: They also had some lame excuse for not coming to my engagement party too!!!


What would you all do??????

RSVP, and send a lame gift.


So you can at least be the better person by RSVP'ing and send a gift, but it won't be the gift they were expecting.

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Posted by suven

since my wedding, I now treat EVERYONE the same way they treated me...

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Yup this is my new rule also!

Honestly I would not even rsvp or send a gift. They have shown you no respect by not making it to ANY of your events so why go out of your way sending a gift for their child who you have never met & might never meet.
Your sil sounds like a real piece of work

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

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Posted by suven

since my wedding, I now treat EVERYONE the same way they treated me...

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Yup this is my new rule also!

Honestly I would not even rsvp or send a gift. They have shown you no respect by not making it to ANY of your events so why go out of your way sending a gift for their child who you have never met & might never meet.
Your sil sounds like a real piece of work

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Maxine,

That is how I REALLY feel! My SIL is a B#$%^
If it were for her family she would have been there. Honestly I really don't care that she has attended nothing but I would have liked to have my stepbrother at my wedding. His kids I have met but they don't know me as 'Aunt' It's sad!

Just another insight to what my SIL is like....

The invite came addressed to:

Mr & Mrs. John Zxxxxx and Sareena(my daughter)

My Daughter is 23 years old & lives at home & technically should have gotten her own invite but even if she didn't want to waste another invite on her husbands family (that she wants a gift from) she could have at least included her last name in the address.

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Posted by JodiJohn903

Just another insight to what my SIL is like....

The invite came addressed to:

Mr & Mrs. John Zxxxxx and Sareena(my daughter)

My Daughter is 23 years old & lives at home & technically should have gotten her own invite but even if she didn't want to waste another invite on her husbands family (that she wants a gift from) she could have at least included her last name in the address.

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This I just see as stupidity - I wouldn't take this part personally.

But the rest of it, I would. Talk to your Stepbrother - tell him how you feel. Do you want to keep him in your life? This is HIS son too. Keep that in mind.

Otherwise, your SSIL is a royal b!tch. If you decide not to go, don't RSVP, and don't send a gift.

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Posted by suven

since my wedding, I now treat EVERYONE the same way they treated me...

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Yup, I have to completely agree. I refuse to what is the 'proper' thing to people who couldn't extend me the slightest consideration.

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by JodiJohn903

Just another insight to what my SIL is like....

The invite came addressed to:

Mr & Mrs. John Zxxxxx and Sareena(my daughter)

My Daughter is 23 years old & lives at home & technically should have gotten her own invite but even if she didn't want to waste another invite on her husbands family (that she wants a gift from) she could have at least included her last name in the address.

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This I just see as stupidity - I wouldn't take this part personally.

But the rest of it, I would. Talk to your Stepbrother - tell him how you feel. Do you want to keep him in your life? This is HIS son too. Keep that in mind.

Otherwise, your SSIL is a royal b!tch. If you decide not to go, don't RSVP, and don't send a gift.

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WHEN I have seen my stepbrother we get along but the fact is he hasn't been in my life in a very long time. The last time I saw him was at my brothers wedding (that they showed up late to) in 2001. maybe one other time at my dad's house but not sure. We don't really talk so there really would be no loss.

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Posted by JodiJohn903

Just another insight to what my SIL is like....

The invite came addressed to:

Mr & Mrs. John Zxxxxx and Sareena(my daughter)

My Daughter is 23 years old & lives at home & technically should have gotten her own invite but even if she didn't want to waste another invite on her husbands family (that she wants a gift from) she could have at least included her last name in the address.

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I So wouldn't send or RSVP after reading this. I was in my 20's, living on my own and was invited to a cousin's wedding by being addressed on the inner envelop of my mother's invitation!

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Posted by shamrock12472

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Posted by JodiJohn903

Just another insight to what my SIL is like....

The invite came addressed to:

Mr & Mrs. John Zxxxxx and Sareena(my daughter)

My Daughter is 23 years old & lives at home & technically should have gotten her own invite but even if she didn't want to waste another invite on her husbands family (that she wants a gift from) she could have at least included her last name in the address.

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I So wouldn't send or RSVP after reading this. I was in my 20's, living on my own and was invited to a cousin's wedding by being addressed on the inner envelop!

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That is terrible!!!!!

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Posted by JodiJohn903

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Posted by shamrock12472

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Posted by JodiJohn903

Just another insight to what my SIL is like....

The invite came addressed to:

Mr & Mrs. John Zxxxxx and Sareena(my daughter)

My Daughter is 23 years old & lives at home & technically should have gotten her own invite but even if she didn't want to waste another invite on her husbands family (that she wants a gift from) she could have at least included her last name in the address.

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I So wouldn't send or RSVP after reading this. I was in my 20's, living on my own and was invited to a cousin's wedding by being addressed on the inner envelop!

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That is terrible!!!!!

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I'm over it but this is also the same cousin to whom I attended 3 showers, 2 baby and one bridal, who RSVPed to my shower, no, because it's family day. She didn't attend my wedding either. Of course, no gift or card for anything after all I gave to her but that isn't the point.

After several times of being screwed over in my lifetime by people I care about (both family and friend), and always 'taking the high road' as my mom puts it, and always 'giving people the benefit of the doubt' and excusing peoples lack of sentiment with the old saying 'well, that's just the way they are...you just need to accept it'. I've gotten to a point in my life where i've decided NOT to accept it. I will never start drama, cause that's not the way I am, but I have just slowly started to distance myself from the selfish people in my life that always seem to be the 'takers', and are never on the giving end of the relationship!

I say don't RSVP or send a gift. If your SIL calls, simply say you were trying to get plans straight, but just can't make it. You 'took the high road' and didnt' make a fuss, but got your point accross in a subtle manner!

Sorry so long!

rsvp that you cannot attend, and don't send a gift. screw her!!!

Honestly I wouldn't even bother with them, it seems they can't be bothered with you. I say no RSVP, no Gift and be done with them.