My stepbrother is married with 2 kids. His wife I have never cared for.....only her family matters!
First some background...
She RSVP'd that she was coming to my shower & then didn't. She sent a gift (small tupperware set) with my stepmother but had no excuse for not attending.
A week past my wedding RSVP date still nothing so I wait a few days & call & she tells me shes not sure yet because her mother is planning her sisters bridal shower (she can't tell her 'just don't do it on the 13th because my SIL is getting married?) . She waited until a week before the wedding when I HAD TO CALL HER AGAIN to tell me they weren't coming because it was her sisters shower. My stepbrother didn't even come to my wedding. He could have come without his B@#$%^ wife but I guess he had to stay home with the kids (my niece & nephew who don't even know me) that my stepmother tried to convince me to have at my wedding & I refused because I had no kids but my FG & his kids are wild! So not only did they not come but didn't send a gift (which I don't care about) or even a card (that I care about----just rude, I think)!
Fast forward to today....
DH & I get an invitation in the mail to their son's 1st Communion. I never hear from them otherwise to the point that I have stopped sending xmas cards because they never even send one back. First of all DH & I will be away the day of the communion but I don't even want to RSVP. See how she likes it!!!!!! I also don't want to send a gift because I honestly think that is the only reason we were invited.
ETA: They also had some lame excuse for not coming to my engagement party too!!!
What would you all do??????
eogara
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
I wouldn't go but at the same time, it's not the kid's fault that his mother s ucks. I'd send a child-type gift or a bond in your nephew's name ONLY so there's no way she can benefit from it. And maybe not even rsvp, just send the gift sometime around the event. But IMO I wouldn't drag an 8 year old into this and not sending a gift will sort of do that.
Kriss2c
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
I would take the higher ground and RSVP no. I would not, however, send a gift... the kids don't know you, so they won't know what they are missing.
stacy&joe
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Posted by CPAPPAS
After several times of being screwed over in my lifetime by people I care about (both family and friend), and always 'taking the high road' as my mom puts it, and always 'giving people the benefit of the doubt' and excusing peoples lack of sentiment with the old saying 'well, that's just the way they are...you just need to accept it'. I've gotten to a point in my life where i've decided NOT to accept it. I will never start drama, cause that's not the way I am, but I have just slowly started to distance myself from the selfish people in my life that always seem to be the 'takers', and are never on the giving end of the relationship!
I say don't RSVP or send a gift. If your SIL calls, simply say you were trying to get plans straight, but just can't make it. You 'took the high road' and didnt' make a fuss, but got your point accross in a subtle manner!
Sorry so long!
I agree completely!! I wouldn't RSVP either. Since I tend to be a magnet for guilt I might send a lame gift, but if you can will yourself to send none at all, I wouldn't.
stacy&joe
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Posted by wc0143
RSVP no, and decide if your nephew should be punished with no gift just becasue his mother is a jakass ... if you decide to send a gift, keep it small and something the child will enjoy!
I agree with this too. Wow. I am being very agreeable today.
JodiBabe
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
I have no problem not sending something. I never see nor hear from my stepbrother nor his kids. His kids don't even know me as Aunt. So I don't feel I would be punishing him since he I'm sure has no clue I was even invited.
I definately will not be going as my DH & I will be away that weekend for a much needed Mini-Moon.
JimmysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
I wouldn't RSVP and wouldn't send a gift. But I'd maybe consider sending a card to the child so that at least he knows of you and that you were thinking of him.
wc0143
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Well, then my opinion, RSVP no. I would never compromise my values and not RSVP just because she has no clue about common courtesy.
stacy&joe
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Posted by JodiJohn903
I have no problem not sending something. I never see nor hear from my stepbrother nor his kids. His kids don't even know me as Aunt. So I don't feel I would be punishing him since he I'm sure has no clue I was even invited.
I definately will not be going as my DH & I will be away that weekend for a much needed Mini-Moon.
Well, good. I think that you shouldn't RSVP either - and go on living a good life with family that loves you and appreciates you. Enjoy your mini-moon!!!!
butterfly20
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Posted by suven
since my wedding, I now treat EVERYONE the same way they treated me...
I agree.... do the same thing, wait past the rsvp, then tell her you cant go
JodiBabe
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Posted by butterfly20
Posted by suven
since my wedding, I now treat EVERYONE the same way they treated me...
I agree.... do the same thing, wait past the rsvp, then tell her you cant go
That is probably what I will be doing! But she will have to TRY to call me to find out!
Kate07
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
I would call like a couple of days before and say you can't make it. Don't send a gift - your nephew won't even notice you didn't send a gift since his parents have not given him the opportunity to get to know you. And I don't think his mother desrves the satisfaction of getting what she set out for - a gift !!!
frosty
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
I'd probably just send a card (no gift) and not attend.
LauderLady
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Posted by butterfly20
I agree.... do the same thing, wait past the rsvp, then tell her you cant go
This is probably what I would do. I hate to be spiteful....but she doesn't deserve the courtesy of a timely RSVP.
Sorry this part of your family treats you like this.
JodiBabe
Posted:
Member since
Re: What Would You Do? Sorry So Long...VENT
Posted by Mbluegirl7
Sorry this part of your family treats you like this.
The really sad part is that this is my REAL stepbrother. My Mom's SO who I consider my Stepfather has 2 sons & I consider them more my stepbrothers and their kids my niece & nephew.
