DH and I are going to a wedding in a few months for one of my friends from college. She and her FH came to our wedding last year and didn't give a gift or a card. Shortly after we'd gotten engaged, she did send us a small engagement gift from our registry (a $20 bowl set). But for our wedding, like I said, no gift, no card.
Now, her wedding is coming up and I'm not sure what we should do. I certainly would feel bad not giving anything at all, but I don't feel like I should give a card with the usual amount of money. Should we just buy something small from the registry as a compromise?
What would you do?
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
We're in a similar situation. One of our non-gifters just got engaged, and they were both at the wedding and didn't even give a card. I was thinking of just giving $100 if we're invited to the wedding. It's in the city, so it may be a small guest list. But I would hope we would be invited.
Maybride519
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
I would not give what I would normally give. I think something small from the registry is good enough. JMO
TurboGirl
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Posted by Maybride519
I would not give what I would normally give. I think something small from the registry is good enough. JMO
I agree. Something cheap.
BlondeJD
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Posted by TurboGirl
Posted by Maybride519
I would not give what I would normally give. I think something small from the registry is good enough. JMO
I agree. Something cheap.
What kind of price range do you think? So far, they're only registered at one place and it's slim pickings.
ETA: Or maybe since there's hardly anything on the registry, I do a non-registry gift - they won't know how much it cost
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Posted by jenniesunshine
ETA: Or maybe since there's hardly anything on the registry, I do a non-registry gift - they won't know how much it cost
Who cares if they know? They didn't even have the politeness to get you a wedding gift.
BlondeJD
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Posted by glinda_goodwitch
Posted by jenniesunshine
ETA: Or maybe since there's hardly anything on the registry, I do a non-registry gift - they won't know how much it cost
Who cares if they know? They didn't even have the politeness to get you a wedding gift.
Good point. I think it's my Catholic guilt getting the best of me And, you're right, I shouldn't worry about whether they know how much the gifts costs- the two of them came to the wedding and couldn't even be bothered to get us a 99 cent Hallmark card.
Did I mention that the wedding is the day before New Year's Eve? So, I'm now either stuck out of town on NYE (with all the attendant traveling/hotel costs) or traveling back to NYC on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day
ayadali
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
I would get something small off her registry - maybe a $50-$75 item? Definitely not cash or anything big if she didn't have the courtesy to at least give a card.
ETA: I just read the thread - definitely a small non-registry item. And it blows that you have to incur so many expenses for her wedding!
JandJ1224
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
I am in a similar situation except it is one of my good friends. No card from the wedding. Of course it isn't polite to ask but what if the card got misplaced. I will never know. I think I will just give her the same gift I would have...
kittythestray
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
I do have to mention... DH's sister we thought was a 'no card/no gifter' - we totally didn't care - she came from PA, just bought a house and she played the flute for us at our ceremony and it was SO BEAUTIFUL!! To us, that was the gift! ANYWAY, long story short - she e-mailed us to ask about Christmas and said something like 'we wish we could have given more' ... DH called her and it turns out she had given us $200 cash in a card, we don't know what happened to it, but she thinks she might have just left it on their table or dropped it somewhere... if it weren't his sister we would have never known.
itslaurie.
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
maybe I am a sucker, but I would give the same gift had the couple given a card/gift to me for my wedding or not
Keywi231
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
I wouldn't give them anything, no card or gift...
JXNOscar
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
I would give a gift from registry or 100.00 I would actually give a gift from registtry and have it shipped to her house.
BlondeJD
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Thanks for the suggestions. DH would be mad at me if we gave them nothing (he's weird that way). Their registry seriously has about 5 things on there, so I was thinking about doing this instead - it's a 'thoughtful' gift and it's under $100. Matching aprons and the Bride & Groom's First and Forever Cookbook. Newlywed Cookbook Set
Thanks for the suggestions. DH would be mad at me if we gave them nothing (he's weird that way). Their registry seriously has about 5 things on there, so I was thinking about doing this instead - it's a 'thoughtful' gift and it's under $100. Matching aprons and the Bride & Groom's First and Forever Cookbook. Newlywed Cookbook Set
See, I LOVE that! And for that reason, why would you give such a thoutful gift to somone who wasn't even thoughtful to you? It's not about the money, it's about the thought, and they didn't think about you! Sorry to cause trouble. But I would literally just give them a $100 (or less) check.
ellebelle1
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
If I were you, I either wouldn't give anything at all, or a check for $150. 150 is basically minimal for two people.
Also, for those who didn't give gifts, we asked them if they gave or we lost the gift. I figured that would reduce any confusion in the future when they are married.
ewickens
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Posted by TurboGirl
Posted by Maybride519
I would not give what I would normally give. I think something small from the registry is good enough. JMO
I agree. Something cheap.
I agree - prob something around $50-60.
ewickens
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Posted by jenniesunshine
Thanks for the suggestions. DH would be mad at me if we gave them nothing (he's weird that way). Their registry seriously has about 5 things on there, so I was thinking about doing this instead - it's a 'thoughtful' gift and it's under $100. Matching aprons and the Bride & Groom's First and Forever Cookbook. Newlywed Cookbook Set
This is a great idea!
TurboGirl
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
Posted by jenniesunshine
Posted by TurboGirl
Posted by Maybride519
I would not give what I would normally give. I think something small from the registry is good enough. JMO
I agree. Something cheap.
What kind of price range do you think? So far, they're only registered at one place and it's slim pickings.
ETA: Or maybe since there's hardly anything on the registry, I do a non-registry gift - they won't know how much it cost
lol...to be honest I probably wouldn't give anything. If I go to a wedding that someone came to mine I will give whatever they gave me. If they don't give me anything then I will do the same in return. I had people like that at my wedding too. Unfortunately my dad and 2 sisters didn't give anything. Not even a card.
ssdbk
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Re: What would you do - What to give a no-gifter?
If I went to a no-gifter's wedding I would still give something. But there is a big chance that I would just send a NO response to the person, and no gift.
