What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

bedda26 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:01 PM

What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Hi Ladies,

What would you do if faced with this situation? On May 1st is my husband’s nephew’s communion and also a bridal shower for one of my very good friends may be planned for that day. Now I am a little torn on what to do. This friend was in my Bridal Party when I got married. For my shower she gave us a very nice gift, made chocolates and helped out with things. I am in her Bridal Party now and I want to do all that she did for me. It’s not that I don’t want to go to my nephew’s communion, he’s a wonderful little boy and I love him and all but I am in my friend’s bridal party and I would feel bad not going to her shower after all that she did for mine. My husband is like “just wait and see what happens, maybe the shower will not be on May 1 after all” but I just have a feeling that it will be. Please I remember one time my Mother-in-Law made me feel so bad that I couldn’t attend a baby shower for one of my husband’s cousin, she made me so upset that I started crying when I got off the phone with her and after my husband called her back and put her in her place she apologized to me. I mentioned to my husband’s sister and she was like “I really don’t think that mina (our SIL) would get so mad, she’s not that kind of person, I think she would understand” I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings here…I just don’t know what to do…

ChristineC68 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:11 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Since you don't know the date of the shower, you can only wait and see at this point and keep your fingers crossed. Since you are in the BP do you have any input for when the shower is? Maybe the times can be staggered?

I would be torn too, but I would probably go to the shower and let DH represent us at the communion (I would try to stop in at the party or at some other point that day/weekend to see the nephew).

Sonicstef Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:11 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

curly2003 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:12 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by ChristineC68

I would be torn too, but I would probably go to the shower and let DH represent us at the communion (I would try to stop in at the party or at some other point that day/weekend to see the nephew).

Yup!!

VickiC Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:18 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by ChristineC68

Since you don't know the date of the shower, you can only wait and see at this point and keep your fingers crossed. Since you are in the BP do you have any input for when the shower is? Maybe the times can be staggered?

I would be torn too, but I would probably go to the shower and let DH represent us at the communion (I would try to stop in at the party or at some other point that day/weekend to see the nephew).

My thoughts exactly!

anna Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:36 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

hey girlie
I'll email you my opinion

Jenn P Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:39 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by Sonicstef

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

I second this. You should go to the shower.

kmcwed Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:39 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by Sonicstef

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

I agree with Stef 100%. This is what I would do.

Cira Posted: Jan 14, 2004 01:45 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by ChristineC68

Since you don't know the date of the shower, you can only wait and see at this point and keep your fingers crossed. Since you are in the BP do you have any input for when the shower is? Maybe the times can be staggered?

I would be torn too, but I would probably go to the shower and let DH represent us at the communion (I would try to stop in at the party or at some other point that day/weekend to see the nephew).

Same here!!! I hope it all works out for you Giovanna!

What-Now Posted: Jan 14, 2004 02:10 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by Jenn P

Posted by Sonicstef

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

I second this. You should go to the shower.

Exactly, that's would be my action also! My friend vs. dh nephew... friend is a much closer connection!

Sage10.03 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 02:22 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by Sonicstef

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

I agree on both points!

bedda26 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 02:23 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be the same day. I'll call him that day and congratulate him and try to see him later on at night. Thank you all for your advice!

bedda26 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 02:23 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

I just dont want anyone's feelings getting hurt.

nrvbrd Posted: Jan 14, 2004 02:40 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

I would go to the shower.

cooky11111 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 02:42 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by Sage10.03

Posted by Sonicstef

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

I agree on both points!

Yes I agree to.

I would call MOH as soon as possible to see if you can get her to switch the date!!!

Annemarie13 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 03:22 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

I would goto the shower!

Niecey Posted: Jan 14, 2004 03:43 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

I agree 100% with what Stef said. If they do conflict I would go to the shower - no questions asked and if people make you feel bad that is there problem for not understanding and your DH should deal with his family and defend your decision. I wouldn't stress about it until both dates are set in stone.

shamma Posted: Jan 14, 2004 03:46 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by Sonicstef

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

I agree Stef. And depending on what time the communion is, maybe they will have a dinner at the house after etc, maybe you can arrive later.

bedda26 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 03:50 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

I'll have to see what they are doing later on. If they all go back to the house after the party then maybe I can join them then...

Thank you all so much ladies. I feel better now....

Claud2001 Posted: Jan 14, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: What would you ladies do if you were in my Shoes...

Posted by shamma

Posted by Sonicstef

I wouldnt even think twice about it - I would go to my friends shower.

But since the shower isnt planned yet and you are in the bridal party, I would call up the MOH and find out if the May 1st date is set in stone. If not, ask if it can be moved to any other date since you have a conflict that is going to be problematic to avoid.

I agree Stef. And depending on what time the communion is, maybe they will have a dinner at the house after etc, maybe you can arrive later.

I agree w/Stef 100% - use your position in the bridal party to influence the date of the shower if you have to! And, if that is just not possible, than hopefully the timing of both events will not overlap completely, and you can show up a bit late for the communion.

ETA: I think it's more important that your DH is at the entire communion, and as long as you show that you made an effort to be there for part of the event, I am certain it will be appreciated! Life is full of conflicting plans - people will definitely understand!