'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

I HATE HATE HATE this question... this rant is totally going to make me sound nuts. And I will throw in a disclaimer before anyone takes this the wrong way... I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting children, in fact it is perfectly normal.... I just don't want any right now and wish people would stop asking about it.

Begin Rant...

Ummm ok DH's friend from college who I have met maybe 5 times uhh I don't know when we're having kids so even if you ask me AGAIN the next time we see you I'm still not going to know and if I did know you would not be the first person we told... She likes to follow up my 'Oh, not just yet' with things like 'But you have so much room in your house, you could definitely have children here.' Yeah, we know, we bought the house and I clean it every week, we are fully aware of how big our house is, that doesn't mean we're ready to fill it will children. 'But you're 30 right?' Yes I am 30, I am not 70 and I am not dead, I think we'll be ok. I feel like asking her when she's going to STOP having children.

And 3 times in the past month things I have posted on my FB page people have some how turned it into about us having babies....

New car post = 'New car for the new baby?' WHAT??? Seriously?

Went to see the movie Due Date = more than one person thought we were making an announcement about babies.

Had my friend and her toddler over = 'are you trying to get some practice in?' I had to delete this one because my grandma seriously thought I was having a baby after she read it through the entire thing.

End vent. Thank you for listening to my crazy.

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

I know exactly what you mean.

I don't even like children and most people around me know that and I still get asked.

There's not much you can say without getting abrasive about it. I straight-out say 'I don't like children' which usually causes looks of horror but seriously, the idea of having a child horrifies me so really, THEY STARTED IT.

You can be nicer about it and say something like 'we just want to enjoy married life right now' I guess. LOL

I have such issues with people thinking that my life is not complete unless I push a child through these loins.

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

i thankfully haven't gotten that question - probably bc both DH and I have siblings with kids, so our parents are already getting their 'baby' fill in.

but i'm right there with you. we don't even want to start trying for at least 2 - 3 years the earliest. we're too selfish to have kids right now. and i am not embarrased to say that.

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

i totally understand what you're feeling ... and it's extra annoying that you barely know this girl, too!

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

umm... yeah!!!

My doc (PCP) jokes about it. I was with my mom at the doc last week getting test results and he said to her, 'So.. are you ready to be a grandma?' My heart sank and then I realized, 'wait.. I have my friend... I can't be'. He started laughing saying he was kidding and meant in the future.

Our little cousins ask more then anyone else. One of my fg's asked about us having a baby a week after we got engaged lol

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

i get it. every. day.
from at least one of the following:
mom
MIL
dad
FIL
stepmom
brother
SIL
other SIL
coworkers
97 clients
6 staff members
then the FB ppl

yesterday my mom sent me a link to the best companies to work for as a working mom. so now she wants me to get a new job AND have a baby? hayzeus

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

its an annoying question weather u want to have kids right away, in the near/far future or non at all.
I always feel as if they are in fact asking about our sex life:

'so when are u gonna have a baby?' -->translation: 'so is ur DH's shlong works? have u checked that it works? is ur uterus a friendly sperm environment? are u sure???'

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

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Posted by regy_k

its an annoying question weather u want to have kids right away, in the near/far future or non at all.
I always feel as if they are in fact asking about our sex life:

'so when are u gonna have a baby?' -->translation: 'so is ur DH's shlong works? have u checked that it works? is ur uterus a friendly sperm environment? are u sure???'

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yeah
cus they assume that you're already trying and see that you're not pregnant so they are compelled to ask about your nether regions

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

aww gina, i'm sorry but i saw the due date thing on facebook and got a chuckle out of it. I can totally relate though. After the wedding, DHs mom and family kept making baby comments on fb and then other people were reading them and asking me if i was pregnant. We had to tell his mom to stop making baby comments.

everyone just assumes u get married and are gonna have babies right away. it's obnoxious. first of all, if ur not planning to try for awhile its just a pain in the butt to get that question and makes you feel like ur doing some wrong for not wanting to try right away. you have every right to wait as long as you want.. 2nd, if you are trying but having a hard time then getting that question will just make u feel bad. its totally insensitive for ppl to ask those questions.

unfortunately, i don't know if there is any way to really avoid the questions. Maybe just come up with some good comebacks when people ask you. Tell them you hate babies

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

i totally agree!!! that question in general drives me nuts!!!

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

We're gotten it quite a few times and I come straight out and tell everyone 'nope, we're verrrry far from that point... we're too selfish... we enjoy being spontaneous... traveling wherever/whenever we may' etc ... and ive even gone so far as to relate a baby to caring for a dog... aka cant just leave for a weekend and not make sitter arrangements... and thats why we love our cats and are even thinking about 'having another' They are our children and thats good enough for us maybe that will shut em up for a while... thinking im an insane cat woman

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

We're gotten it quite a few times and I come straight out and tell everyone 'nope, we're verrrry far from that point... we're too selfish... we enjoy being spontaneous... traveling wherever/whenever we may' etc ... and ive even gone so far as to relate a baby to caring for a dog... aka cant just leave for a weekend and not make sitter arrangements... and thats why we love our cats and are even thinking about 'having another' They are our children and thats good enough for us maybe that will shut em up for a while... thinking im an insane cat woman

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that is why we love cats too, my DH is the biggest cat lady ever lmao

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

It drives me nuts that I can't make a comment on FB or otherwise about feeling a little under the weather without people saying 'OMG...you're pregnant!!!!'

No, but if you keep it up when I AM pregnant and DO have morning sickness I will seek you out and projectile vomite ALL OVER YOU.

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

I hear you! my sister and my mil ask me once a day or hint that I should have one soon!!! So much that the other day I was like maybe we should have a baby
but then I snapped back to reality 2 more years or so. hah!!!

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

we get it but only from our friends.
cant blame them for asking. at 35 who knows how many good eggs i have left

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

This is too funny.

At my sister's wedding shower:
My godmother: So, are you going to have babies soon?

Me: No.

Godmother: But you're trying, right?

Me: No.

Godmother: well, don't wait too long.

Me: Thanks for the tip.

Also, my dad recently told my lawyer that the reason DH and I were renting our current apartment is because its big enough for the baby. My lawyer turns to me and says 'Oh, congratulations!' - I had to explain we are only having children in my father's imagination. Haha, omg.

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

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Posted by regy_k

its an annoying question weather u want to have kids right away, in the near/far future or non at all.
I always feel as if they are in fact asking about our sex life:

'so when are u gonna have a baby?' -->translation: 'so is ur DH's shlong works? have u checked that it works? is ur uterus a friendly sperm environment? are u sure???'

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Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

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Posted by CappyGirl

This is too funny.

At my sister's wedding shower:
My godmother: So, are you going to have babies soon?

Me: No.

Godmother: But you're trying, right?

Me: No.

Godmother: well, don't wait too long.

Me: Thanks for the tip.

Also, my dad recently told my lawyer that the reason DH and I were renting our current apartment is because its big enough for the baby. My lawyer turns to me and says 'Oh, congratulations!' - I had to explain we are only having children in my father's imagination. Haha, omg.

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HAHAHAHA! My mother calls the smallest of the bedrooms in our house 'the nursery.' Then people get theese big ridiculous smiles on their face and before they can say anything I just shake my head and say 'no, no it's not.'

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

I totally understand where you are coming from! This question will be the death of me! MIL says something every time we go over there. It got to the point where I said 'When you buy us a house we will have babies, until then nothing for you!' Even my 4 year old sister asked us when we were having babies. Obviously, I don't get mad at her.

Re: 'When are you going to have a baby????' VENT

When we first got married, I would just sort of chuckle when someone would ask this question and be like, no, not for a while, we just got married!


NOW, I reply with one of the following (on a scale of b1tch1ness):

'We really enjoy our freedom and have plans to continue traveling before we consider starting a family'

'DEFINITELY not anytime soon; we are enjoying married life together without that responsibility'

'And ruin THIS bod?' (then laugh a lot to make them think I'm kidding)

And I've used this one recently to someone who relentlessly asks: 'When it's any of your GD business, I'll let you know.'


This seems blunt, but I find that the only people who ask have children already, who are probably a little jealous that they don't have the flexibility to do things they used to or, especially when they hear that DH and I go on an impromptu weekend trip, go into the city, go on vacation, etc.