While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

I'm not sure how to handle this or even if it needs to be thought about...but I'd like some feedback...

our best man(DH bestest friend) is fresh out of a 3 1/2 yr relationship....they don't get to hang out much since best friend is a waiter and DH is in retail....so DH went over there last night (since best friend got off from work early) to play video games and talk about what's going on in best friends' life, his lsoing weight over the break up, etc. He didn't leave home till 11pm and crawled back into bed at 3:30am (or somewhere around there....I heard him come in and a little bit after I had to go to the potty and looked at the clock)...

DH doesn't go out to bars with his friends and MOST of the time when he hangs out with his friends, I'm there too since we are all friends now.

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

Shana are you just concerned because he came in so late? I'm not sure that's anything to worry about--those boys can play Playstation FOREVER!! DH said he once played for two days straight, with breaks only to answer the door when the pizza guy got there and to go to the bathroom!!

But to you if you're worried!!

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

not that I'm worried or concerned....but doesn't the late night stuff stop after one gets married????

I know DH has some concerns about losing 'quality time' with his friends now that we are married and that we'll be moving away soon.....

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

Well, he really only spent about 4 hours with his friend and if the friend is hurting and needs someone to talk with, I think that's okay. I think you should be happy your DH is such a great friend!! I'm not sure late nights are supposed to just end after you get married--it's more of a getting older kind of thing You're just not able to stay out as late when you get OLD!! I'm in bed by 11 at the latest these days

Put yourself in his shoes...if you were with a friend who really needed you, would you leave her alone just because it was getting late and DH was at home? Likewise, if you were out with friends and having a good time, would you bail because it was getting too late? Even if you weren't tired and having a great time dancing like you were single and it was your job!!!

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

Why would late nights out with friends stop when you are married? You are the same people you were when you were single. Especially if he rarely gets to see his friend and the friend is going through a rough time, it makes sense why they would be out late.

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

Nothing really changes when you get married...I still stay out late with my girlfriends..and sometimes we go to bars..Dh never goes out because he works a zillion hours, but if he did, hed be out late with his friends too. I think when people get married, things slow down..Im not out all the time with my girlfriends..mostly because I like being at home with DH, but now and then is actually very healthy. So I wouldnt expect your dh to be at his friends house every night..but its good to get out, his friend was probably so happy to spend time with him too, especially since hes sad.

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

you guys are right....while the late nights and guy nights only don't come often....I guess I just miss him being right next to me, but I do enjoy the quiet time. I went to sleep (not easily of course since he wasn't there) but I'm glad he was there for his friend and they had some guy time together.

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

I m glad you are feeling better! I actually love it when Dh is working at night..I love some quiet time!!

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

I would be more worried if he gave up things like nights out with his friends. As Steph said you are the sme people that you were before you got married. You should try and have time alone and together. Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to be attached at the hip all the time. I love the house to myself when Matt is out doing his own thing and he is the same when I am out.

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

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Posted by aliciahelene

I m glad you are feeling better! I actually love it when Dh is working at night..I love some quiet time!!

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I love those nights too ;)

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

Don't worry. I went out w/ my girlfriends Friday night and got home late while DH was at home sleeping. Its good to get out w/ friends once in a while.

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

The other day a friend of mine was going on and on about how her and her friends were having a ball at the club and I was telling her that dh and i sometimes go to clubs and have a ball together - she was surprised. There are times whe we go out with our individual friends to a club or to have drinks. My hubby and his friends meet up all the time to have their guy time! I don't know why people think that after you get married you have to drop all the fun stuff you once did. Marriage only means you now have a partnership, but you still are individuals. My friend cries everytime her husband goes out and I was telling her she's not trusting him and she has got to stop being so paranoid or else he might just give her something to be worried about!!!

Sometimes he needs time away with his friends, just like I do myself. Now, if we're going to be extra late, I give him the courtesy to call and say 'll be late' but other than that hanging out with your friends separately is such a HEALTHY thing for your marriage.

Re: While we're on the Advice boat....I need some

I would go mental if I didn't have my occasional girls night out!! I have the rest of my life to spend w/ my husband so a few odd nights if either of us want to venture out w/ our friends I welcome it!!