Ok a lot of us are in a rut on here so let's try and do something about it! This is from LIF and it sounds great. I don't want to link it because its part of a private post and I don't want to introduce it to another board.
It was a story about a priest that led marriage counseling sessions. He told the couples to write down ten things they would do for their spouse *IF* they were IN LOVE with them. Then he said to completely ignore your feelings and do those ten things. Just do it. Make a new list each week. In two months he said they'd see a significant difference because while it's the thought that counts, sometimes it's the actions you need.
I am going to start with THREE things and JUST DO IT. DON'T tell him you are doing it, don't think about if he deserves it, don't think about if you FEEL like it or 'you already do so much' JUST DO THOSE THINGS.
I am starting tonight, I am excited!
futuremrsfab
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
thats a great idea- I would love to do this- but I think he probably wouldnt notice- what kinds of things are we talking about.
I have a bad habit of when I do something nice for him, I tell him & remind him of it constantly
MikeandJess
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
This is really cute. I might try it but if it's anything like my new years resolutions, we're screwed
ant n tilde
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by futuremrsfab
thats a great idea- I would love to do this- but I think he probably wouldnt notice- what kinds of things are we talking about.
I have a bad habit of when I do something nice for him, I tell him & remind him of it constantly
LOL ME TOO!!!! That is why I want to do this.
#1 no more pecks on the lips hello or goodbye. doesn't have to be a makeout session but just add a second or two.
#2 hand massage! his hands are so messed up from work I used to do this every weekend but I havent done it in SO long
#3 one word: initiate!
RisiLeigh
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by ant n tilde
LOL ME TOO!!!! That is why I want to do this.
#1 no more pecks on the lips hello or goodbye. doesn't have to be a makeout session but just add a second or two.
#2 hand massage! his hands are so messed up from work I used to do this every weekend but I havent done it in SO long
#3 one word: initiate!
LOL I really need to make 'initiate' my #1 thing! I am so horrible at it!!!
ant n tilde
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by RisiLeigh
Posted by ant n tilde
LOL ME TOO!!!! That is why I want to do this.
#1 no more pecks on the lips hello or goodbye. doesn't have to be a makeout session but just add a second or two.
#2 hand massage! his hands are so messed up from work I used to do this every weekend but I havent done it in SO long
#3 one word: initiate!
LOL I really need to make 'initiate' my #1 thing! I am so horrible at it!!!
me too! we have been together for ten years and i still get all shy!
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by RisiLeigh
Posted by ant n tilde
LOL ME TOO!!!! That is why I want to do this.
#1 no more pecks on the lips hello or goodbye. doesn't have to be a makeout session but just add a second or two.
#2 hand massage! his hands are so messed up from work I used to do this every weekend but I havent done it in SO long
#3 one word: initiate!
LOL I really need to make 'initiate' my #1 thing! I am so horrible at it!!!
me too! we have been together for ten years and i still get all shy!
My problem with initiating is that it takes me a while to get INTO it - for whatever reason - unless I am drunk, then I can be convinced very quickly But because I know it will be a lot of work ... I don't initiate, and he gets mad, and I even put it off because of that. It's better than it used to be, but not at the level he wants it to be .. so that would number one on my list.
ant n tilde
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by JBoothIn2008 My problem with initiating is that it takes me a while to get INTO it - for whatever reason - unless I am drunk, then I can be convinced very quickly But because I know it will be a lot of work ... I don't initiate, and he gets mad, and I even put it off because of that. It's better than it used to be, but not at the level he wants it to be .. so that would number one on my list.
so true about being drunk! I was just thinking 'is there anything in the house i can drink so i can get things started?' LOL but there is a fine line between drinking and having fun and drinking and snoring on teh couch
Espo22
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Cute idea, I am trying to think of what I would do. I am looking at everyones list to get ideas
I do initiate so I dont have a problem with that. And ladies if youre a bit shy you dont have to initiate in a very obvious jump his bones way, but put something sexy on around the house, doesnt even have to be lingerie, but something that will get their attention.
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by JBoothIn2008 My problem with initiating is that it takes me a while to get INTO it - for whatever reason - unless I am drunk, then I can be convinced very quickly But because I know it will be a lot of work ... I don't initiate, and he gets mad, and I even put it off because of that. It's better than it used to be, but not at the level he wants it to be .. so that would number one on my list.
so true about being drunk! I was just thinking 'is there anything in the house i can drink so i can get things started?' LOL but there is a fine line between drinking and having fun and drinking and snoring on teh couch
On the HM ... I wasn't even drunk ... but WOW was I into it one night. I find that 2-3 vodka tonics work very well for me - any less, I'm not in the mood - any more, I'm in the mood to sleep or puke, one or the other - and neither is good for sex.
ant n tilde
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by JBoothIn2008 My problem with initiating is that it takes me a while to get INTO it - for whatever reason - unless I am drunk, then I can be convinced very quickly But because I know it will be a lot of work ... I don't initiate, and he gets mad, and I even put it off because of that. It's better than it used to be, but not at the level he wants it to be .. so that would number one on my list.
so true about being drunk! I was just thinking 'is there anything in the house i can drink so i can get things started?' LOL but there is a fine line between drinking and having fun and drinking and snoring on teh couch
On the HM ... I wasn't even drunk ... but WOW was I into it one night. I find that 2-3 vodka tonics work very well for me - any less, I'm not in the mood - any more, I'm in the mood to sleep or puke, one or the other - and neither is good for sex.
Oh you mean you didnt power puke some blue drink on your HM? All the classy brides are doing it. . .
anneandchris
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Great idea!
Lets try and some ideas so we can keep our lists going! Sometimes it is the littlest most obvious things.
Take last night for example...I had come home late and I know he had a rough day at work and he had laundry in the washer and dryer and instead of just doing it for him I said something so he did it (I was tired).
I know sounds backwards but he does A LOT around the house.
anneandchris
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by JBoothIn2008 My problem with initiating is that it takes me a while to get INTO it - for whatever reason - unless I am drunk, then I can be convinced very quickly But because I know it will be a lot of work ... I don't initiate, and he gets mad, and I even put it off because of that. It's better than it used to be, but not at the level he wants it to be .. so that would number one on my list.
so true about being drunk! I was just thinking 'is there anything in the house i can drink so i can get things started?' LOL but there is a fine line between drinking and having fun and drinking and snoring on teh couch
On the HM ... I wasn't even drunk ... but WOW was I into it one night. I find that 2-3 vodka tonics work very well for me - any less, I'm not in the mood - any more, I'm in the mood to sleep or puke, one or the other - and neither is good for sex.
Oh you mean you didnt power puke some blue drink on your HM? All the classy brides are doing it. . .
Very classy!
Espo22
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by anneandchris
Great idea!
Lets try and some ideas so we can keep our lists going! Sometimes it is the littlest most obvious things.
Take last night for example...I had come home late and I know he had a rough day at work and he had laundry in the washer and dryer and instead of just doing it for him I said something so he did it (I was tired).
I know sounds backwards but he does A LOT around the house.
I am waiting to see what ideas everybody has lol, i cant think of something right now so im gonna steal ideas
ant n tilde
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by anneandchris
Great idea!
Lets try and some ideas so we can keep our lists going! Sometimes it is the littlest most obvious things.
Take last night for example...I had come home late and I know he had a rough day at work and he had laundry in the washer and dryer and instead of just doing it for him I said something so he did it (I was tired).
I know sounds backwards but he does A LOT around the house.
I am waiting to see what ideas everybody has lol, i cant think of something right now so im gonna steal ideas
Well an important part is that you have to keep your feelings out of it. So lets say that you always have to tell DH to put his dirty clothes in teh hamper bc he leaves them on teh floor. Even though you may feel like he SHOULD be doing it himself, why not just pick them up and put them in the hamper instead of saying something to him. . .
Denise i know this doesnt apply to YOUR DH bc he is a clean freak LOL
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
awesome idea!!!!!!!!
luvabul
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by futuremrsfab
thats a great idea- I would love to do this- but I think he probably wouldnt notice- what kinds of things are we talking about.
I have a bad habit of when I do something nice for him, I tell him & remind him of it constantly
same here... like last night i cooked, and told him 100 times how tired i was! because i was...
ant n tilde
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by luvabul
Posted by futuremrsfab
thats a great idea- I would love to do this- but I think he probably wouldnt notice- what kinds of things are we talking about.
I have a bad habit of when I do something nice for him, I tell him & remind him of it constantly
same here... like last night i cooked, and told him 100 times how tired i was! because i was...
you guys know i do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bill paying etc. . .
but i mention it so much i bet DH would rather live in squalor and wear dirty clothes than hear it one more time.
Espo22
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by Espo22
Posted by anneandchris
Great idea!
Lets try and some ideas so we can keep our lists going! Sometimes it is the littlest most obvious things.
Take last night for example...I had come home late and I know he had a rough day at work and he had laundry in the washer and dryer and instead of just doing it for him I said something so he did it (I was tired).
I know sounds backwards but he does A LOT around the house.
I am waiting to see what ideas everybody has lol, i cant think of something right now so im gonna steal ideas
Well an important part is that you have to keep your feelings out of it. So lets say that you always have to tell DH to put his dirty clothes in teh hamper bc he leaves them on teh floor. Even though you may feel like he SHOULD be doing it himself, why not just pick them up and put them in the hamper instead of saying something to him. . .
Denise i know this doesnt apply to YOUR DH bc he is a clean freak LOL
yeah thats why i am trying to think of things. See dh is a neat freak like ocd neat freak. He cleans up after himself ALL the time, he is the one who gets annoyed if god forbid i have a sweater or something on top of the dresser lol. He organizes all his stuff well and keeps it beyond neat, he never throws his stuff around, he always put everything away very neatly when he gets undressed. He takes the garbage out all the time, he does it as soon as he gets home usually which is a bit ocd bc it will be half full and i look at him like he is crazy and he is obsessed with recycling. If we leave the house together, and were both in a hurry to leave, once i get dressed i say ok lets go but no he has to make the bed first and clean up the mess we made while getting ready, bc he cant leave the house like that. SO when it comes to cleaning i cant think of anything lol. And the rest of the cleaning i just do on a daily basis so not sure. Even errands, when he ran out of his medication this week, i said i'll go pick it up for him and his dry cleaning.
I am trying to think of what he would like me to just do maybe when he gets home to automatically put ESPN on lol instead of trying to hog the tv lol
eta: i just saw now after i posted that you said it doesnt apply to my DH lol sorry. Yeah thats why i think im having a hard time coming up with something. If he wasnt such a neat freak maybe it would be easier for me W**
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by JBoothIn2008 My problem with initiating is that it takes me a while to get INTO it - for whatever reason - unless I am drunk, then I can be convinced very quickly But because I know it will be a lot of work ... I don't initiate, and he gets mad, and I even put it off because of that. It's better than it used to be, but not at the level he wants it to be .. so that would number one on my list.
so true about being drunk! I was just thinking 'is there anything in the house i can drink so i can get things started?' LOL but there is a fine line between drinking and having fun and drinking and snoring on teh couch
On the HM ... I wasn't even drunk ... but WOW was I into it one night. I find that 2-3 vodka tonics work very well for me - any less, I'm not in the mood - any more, I'm in the mood to sleep or puke, one or the other - and neither is good for sex.
Oh you mean you didnt power puke some blue drink on your HM? All the classy brides are doing it. . .
Ha, nope! I never got sick once there (well, I did, but not from drinking - I was so sick I had to cancel the flight HOME and re-schedule for 2 days later!)
And I don't even know if I could have gotten a blue drink in Alaska. If you wear heels there, they look at you like you are from Mars. Blue drinks are probably from Venus.
