Who Wants to Try the Husband Experiment?

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by JBoothIn2008
My problem with initiating is that it takes me a while to get INTO it - for whatever reason - unless I am drunk, then I can be convinced very quickly But because I know it will be a lot of work ... I don't initiate, and he gets mad, and I even put it off because of that. It's better than it used to be, but not at the level he wants it to be .. so that would number one on my list.

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so true about being drunk! I was just thinking 'is there anything in the house i can drink so i can get things started?' LOL but there is a fine line between drinking and having fun and drinking and snoring on teh couch

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On the HM ... I wasn't even drunk ... but WOW was I into it one night. I find that 2-3 vodka tonics work very well for me - any less, I'm not in the mood - any more, I'm in the mood to sleep or puke, one or the other - and neither is good for sex.

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Oh you mean you didnt power puke some blue drink on your HM? All the classy brides are doing it. . .

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Ha, nope! I never got sick once there (well, I did, but not from drinking - I was so sick I had to cancel the flight HOME and re-schedule for 2 days later!)

And I don't even know if I could have gotten a blue drink in Alaska. If you wear heels there, they look at you like you are from Mars. Blue drinks are probably from Venus.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by anneandchris

Great idea!

Lets try and some ideas so we can keep our lists going! Sometimes it is the littlest most obvious things.

Take last night for example...I had come home late and I know he had a rough day at work and he had laundry in the washer and dryer and instead of just doing it for him I said something so he did it (I was tired).

I know sounds backwards but he does A LOT around the house.

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I am waiting to see what ideas everybody has lol, i cant think of something right now so im gonna steal ideas

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Well an important part is that you have to keep your feelings out of it. So lets say that you always have to tell DH to put his dirty clothes in teh hamper bc he leaves them on teh floor. Even though you may feel like he SHOULD be doing it himself, why not just pick them up and put them in the hamper instead of saying something to him. . .

Denise i know this doesnt apply to YOUR DH bc he is a clean freak LOL

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yeah thats why i am trying to think of things. See dh is a neat freak like ocd neat freak. He cleans up after himself ALL the time, he is the one who gets annoyed if god forbid i have a sweater or something on top of the dresser lol. He organizes all his stuff well and keeps it beyond neat, he never throws his stuff around, he always put everything away very neatly when he gets undressed. He takes the garbage out all the time, he does it as soon as he gets home usually which is a bit ocd bc it will be half full and i look at him like he is crazy and he is obsessed with recycling. If we leave the house together, and were both in a hurry to leave, once i get dressed i say ok lets go but no he has to make the bed first and clean up the mess we made while getting ready, bc he cant leave the house like that. SO when it comes to cleaning i cant think of anything lol. And the rest of the cleaning i just do on a daily basis so not sure. Even errands, when he ran out of his medication this week, i said i'll go pick it up for him and his dry cleaning.

I am trying to think of what he would like me to just do maybe when he gets home to automatically put ESPN on lol instead of trying to hog the tv lol

eta: i just saw now after i posted that you said it doesnt apply to my DH lol sorry. Yeah thats why i think im having a hard time coming up with something. If he wasnt such a neat freak maybe it would be easier for me W**

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Ok so I was just thinking about this ... Denise like you my DH is OCD. He really takes care of pretty much everything himself and even if I try to get to it he beats me to it.

So with that in mind could this experiment also include NOT doing things he wished you wouldn't do. For example I kept leaving the laundry room doors open and it was pissing him off (OCD in full force). So now I just make sure I close them.

Does that make sense?

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by anneandchris

Great idea!

Lets try and some ideas so we can keep our lists going! Sometimes it is the littlest most obvious things.

Take last night for example...I had come home late and I know he had a rough day at work and he had laundry in the washer and dryer and instead of just doing it for him I said something so he did it (I was tired).

I know sounds backwards but he does A LOT around the house.

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I am waiting to see what ideas everybody has lol, i cant think of something right now so im gonna steal ideas

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Well an important part is that you have to keep your feelings out of it. So lets say that you always have to tell DH to put his dirty clothes in teh hamper bc he leaves them on teh floor. Even though you may feel like he SHOULD be doing it himself, why not just pick them up and put them in the hamper instead of saying something to him. . .

Denise i know this doesnt apply to YOUR DH bc he is a clean freak LOL

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yeah thats why i am trying to think of things. See dh is a neat freak like ocd neat freak. He cleans up after himself ALL the time, he is the one who gets annoyed if god forbid i have a sweater or something on top of the dresser lol. He organizes all his stuff well and keeps it beyond neat, he never throws his stuff around, he always put everything away very neatly when he gets undressed. He takes the garbage out all the time, he does it as soon as he gets home usually which is a bit ocd bc it will be half full and i look at him like he is crazy and he is obsessed with recycling. If we leave the house together, and were both in a hurry to leave, once i get dressed i say ok lets go but no he has to make the bed first and clean up the mess we made while getting ready, bc he cant leave the house like that. SO when it comes to cleaning i cant think of anything lol. And the rest of the cleaning i just do on a daily basis so not sure. Even errands, when he ran out of his medication this week, i said i'll go pick it up for him and his dry cleaning.

I am trying to think of what he would like me to just do maybe when he gets home to automatically put ESPN on lol instead of trying to hog the tv lol

eta: i just saw now after i posted that you said it doesnt apply to my DH lol sorry. Yeah thats why i think im having a hard time coming up with something. If he wasnt such a neat freak maybe it would be easier for me W**

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Ok so I was just thinking about this ... Denise like you my DH is OCD. He really takes care of pretty much everything himself and even if I try to get to it he beats me to it.

So with that in mind could this experiment also include NOT doing things he wished you wouldn't do. For example I kept leaving the laundry room doors open and it was pissing him off (OCD in full force). So now I just make sure I close them.

Does that make sense?

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yeah thats what i am trying to think of, maybe things that annoy him. I do clean everyday before he gets home from work so at least he can say its neat and i do that for him lol. He gets annoyed that i sleep under the covers but i am not changing that lmao.

I guess i started this experiment myself a while ago lol. ALot of things that bother him I make sure not to do bc I know how in his head it can drive him crazy so dont want him to get there lol. Even last month he hated that my closet wasnt organized like his and i have been keeping it real neat and all my hangers now face the same way lol. I make sure the bed is always made and i put all my stuff away before he gets home.

The next time he is working a bit late, I think I will surprise him with DD coffee. He cant really leave work to get stuff, thats why I even have to pack his lunch now, but one time he casually brought up surprising him with DD coffee when he is at work late. I said ok just call me and ask if thats what you want but I'll just do it on my own lol. OK YAY i have 1 thing on my list haha

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by anneandchris

Great idea!

Lets try and some ideas so we can keep our lists going! Sometimes it is the littlest most obvious things.

Take last night for example...I had come home late and I know he had a rough day at work and he had laundry in the washer and dryer and instead of just doing it for him I said something so he did it (I was tired).

I know sounds backwards but he does A LOT around the house.

---

I am waiting to see what ideas everybody has lol, i cant think of something right now so im gonna steal ideas

---

Well an important part is that you have to keep your feelings out of it. So lets say that you always have to tell DH to put his dirty clothes in teh hamper bc he leaves them on teh floor. Even though you may feel like he SHOULD be doing it himself, why not just pick them up and put them in the hamper instead of saying something to him. . .

Denise i know this doesnt apply to YOUR DH bc he is a clean freak LOL

---

yeah thats why i am trying to think of things. See dh is a neat freak like ocd neat freak. He cleans up after himself ALL the time, he is the one who gets annoyed if god forbid i have a sweater or something on top of the dresser lol. He organizes all his stuff well and keeps it beyond neat, he never throws his stuff around, he always put everything away very neatly when he gets undressed. He takes the garbage out all the time, he does it as soon as he gets home usually which is a bit ocd bc it will be half full and i look at him like he is crazy and he is obsessed with recycling. If we leave the house together, and were both in a hurry to leave, once i get dressed i say ok lets go but no he has to make the bed first and clean up the mess we made while getting ready, bc he cant leave the house like that. SO when it comes to cleaning i cant think of anything lol. And the rest of the cleaning i just do on a daily basis so not sure. Even errands, when he ran out of his medication this week, i said i'll go pick it up for him and his dry cleaning.

I am trying to think of what he would like me to just do maybe when he gets home to automatically put ESPN on lol instead of trying to hog the tv lol

eta: i just saw now after i posted that you said it doesnt apply to my DH lol sorry. Yeah thats why i think im having a hard time coming up with something. If he wasnt such a neat freak maybe it would be easier for me W**

---

Ok so I was just thinking about this ... Denise like you my DH is OCD. He really takes care of pretty much everything himself and even if I try to get to it he beats me to it.

So with that in mind could this experiment also include NOT doing things he wished you wouldn't do. For example I kept leaving the laundry room doors open and it was pissing him off (OCD in full force). So now I just make sure I close them.

Does that make sense?

---

yeah thats what i am trying to think of, maybe things that annoy him. I do clean everyday before he gets home from work so at least he can say its neat and i do that for him lol. He gets annoyed that i sleep under the covers but i am not changing that lmao.

I guess i started this experiment myself a while ago lol. ALot of things that bother him I make sure not to do bc I know how in his head it can drive him crazy so dont want him to get there lol. Even last month he hated that my closet wasnt organized like his and i have been keeping it real neat and all my hangers now face the same way lol. I make sure the bed is always made and i put all my stuff away before he gets home.

The next time he is working a bit late, I think I will surprise him with DD coffee. He cant really leave work to get stuff, thats why I even have to pack his lunch now, but one time he casually brought up surprising him with DD coffee when he is at work late. I said ok just call me and ask if thats what you want but I'll just do it on my own lol. OK YAY i have 1 thing on my list haha

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First -- I would never give up sleeping under the covers. Infact right now we are sleeping under seperate blankets but that is another story.

2 - I am constantly changing the hangers and order of his clothes in his closet -- i think it might piss him off so I should stop!

3 - Definately bring him a coffee -- its like flowers showing up at the office for you.

Sounds like fun!

I'll probably do the initiating thing and the cleaning up thing. I need a third-I'll have to think.

Okay so I did all three and it went great!

The hand massage thing was a little awkward though he kept pulling his hand away and asking what the heck I was doing but i swear this used to be a weekly thing with us!

I really like this - hope I can continue!

PLUS DH is going to a BP tonight and he is going to see strippers so I made sure to leave him with a memory as to why he would never want to mess things up with us

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Posted by ant n tilde

Okay so I did all three and it went great!

The hand massage thing was a little awkward though he kept pulling his hand away and asking what the heck I was doing but i swear this used to be a weekly thing with us!

I really like this - hope I can continue!

PLUS DH is going to a BP tonight and he is going to see strippers so I made sure to leave him with a memory as to why he would never want to mess things up with us

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Awww thats great! Good for you, Tilde! I would've done the same thing

Because we are a couple who like to entertain we usually have people over on nights when we are both home.

Last night we were both home, we had no cell phones and just hung out together. We ordered in, so no one had to cook and we had a great time!! I was so happy and relaxed it was like we were kids in an empty house for the first time!

I'm the only one that really cleans and I always initiate and although some of his messiness bothers me to the point where I want to scream, I refuse to be nice and pick it up anymore....been there, done that and it never gets noticed or appreciated, so I stopped. In regards to cooking, he assumes that this is my duty as a wife and that's a bunch of bull, since I work in Manhattan, Mon - Fri, 9am - 5pm and travel from Queens every day (1.5 hours commuting each way). My role as a wife should not be considered the same as a 'stay at home mom'. She has the time to shop, prepare and cook. Oh and I have never liked the idea of cooking.
Sorry, I ventured off the real meaning of this post....but I hate that its us as wives trying to be nice and blah blah blah....where is the groom's board on a list of things to be nice for your wife.

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by luvabul

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Posted by futuremrsfab

thats a great idea- I would love to do this- but I think he probably wouldnt notice- what kinds of things are we talking about.

I have a bad habit of when I do something nice for him, I tell him & remind him of it constantly

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same here... like last night i cooked, and told him 100 times how tired i was! because i was...

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you guys know i do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bill paying etc. . .

but i mention it so much i bet DH would rather live in squalor and wear dirty clothes than hear it one more time.

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i do everything too- I think that our DH's should do the 'Wife Experiment'

mine is spoiled & there is nothing left for me to do for him

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsBrady

I'm the only one that really cleans and I always initiate and although some of his messiness bothers me to the point where I want to scream, I refuse to be nice and pick it up anymore....been there, done that and it never gets noticed or appreciated, so I stopped. In regards to cooking, he assumes that this is my duty as a wife and that's a bunch of bull, since I work in Manhattan, Mon - Fri, 9am - 5pm and travel from Queens every day (1.5 hours commuting each way). My role as a wife should not be considered the same as a 'stay at home mom'. She has the time to shop, prepare and cook. Oh and I have never liked the idea of cooking.
Sorry, I ventured off the real meaning of this post....but I hate that its us as wives trying to be nice and blah blah blah....where is the groom's board on a list of things to be nice for your wife.

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well, this isnt about any of that really its about doing something for your husband regardless of if you think he deserves it or if you think that you already do too much. . .this is about bringing the relationship back to being a fun and exciting place to be!

i cook, clean, do laundry and all of that. i dont expect him to do anything bc quite honestly i dont feel that my husband should have to - i enjoy taking care of him. . . . i just let the fun slide a bit and i am back to making it a priority

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Posted by Kimbalina

Because we are a couple who like to entertain we usually have people over on nights when we are both home.

Last night we were both home, we had no cell phones and just hung out together. We ordered in, so no one had to cook and we had a great time!! I was so happy and relaxed it was like we were kids in an empty house for the first time!

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great idea!

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsBrady

Exactly...the Wife Experiment...that's what I want...Can we send an anonymous mailing out to all our hubbys?....hahahahahaha

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well some hubbys do stuff, so might not apply to every woman.

My husband does things all the time, so thats why I dont mind doing stuff for him. Plus he is appreciative of when I do things. Every single time i cook for him, he always says thank you babe and will keep saying how delicious it is. If he never did i probably wouldnt want to cook for him as much lol but I love making something for him that he thinks is real good and enjoys.

Some husbands do clean up after themselves, dh is very neat and does things on his own. Even last night he started organizing like crazy, but thats also bc he is stressed out and makes him feel better when he is doing this. I offered to help and he said no, i said 'are you sure' and then asked if right now him doing this just makes him feel better and he said yes. But even on a daily basis he does things on his own

So I do agree that it shouldn't be only the woman doing everything while the guy makes no effort. But at the same time everyones situations are different, and some husbands do help out and do things for us too so then why not return the favor.

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Posted by Espo22


My husband does things all the time, so thats why I dont mind doing stuff for him. Plus he is appreciative of when I do things. Every single time i cook for him, he always says thank you babe and will keep saying how delicious it is. If .

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And my husband does nothing and that is fine for me

I just wanted him to remember that I am a sexy b!tch. I think he forgot - but he remembers now

but the way to remind him of that is not to ask him to ppick up his dirty drawers. . .

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22


My husband does things all the time, so thats why I dont mind doing stuff for him. Plus he is appreciative of when I do things. Every single time i cook for him, he always says thank you babe and will keep saying how delicious it is. If .

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And my husband does nothing and that is fine for me

I just wanted him to remember that I am a sexy b!tch. I think he forgot - but he remembers now

but the way to remind him of that is not to ask him to ppick up his dirty drawers. . .

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NO tilde not true lol. I remember you said that your DH ALWAYS fills up your car for you and gets it serviced and you never have to put gas in your car bc he always takes care of it. Sometimes its not the typical things that women always talk about but i think that is very sweet and guys have their own way of showing how they care, so maybe its not like one main thing that so many women want their husbands to do but they should get credit for things they think of on their own.

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsBrady

I'm the only one that really cleans and I always initiate and although some of his messiness bothers me to the point where I want to scream, I refuse to be nice and pick it up anymore....been there, done that and it never gets noticed or appreciated, so I stopped. In regards to cooking, he assumes that this is my duty as a wife and that's a bunch of bull, since I work in Manhattan, Mon - Fri, 9am - 5pm and travel from Queens every day (1.5 hours commuting each way). My role as a wife should not be considered the same as a 'stay at home mom'. She has the time to shop, prepare and cook. Oh and I have never liked the idea of cooking.
Sorry, I ventured off the real meaning of this post....but I hate that its us as wives trying to be nice and blah blah blah....where is the groom's board on a list of things to be nice for your wife.

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well, this isnt about any of that really its about doing something for your husband regardless of if you think he deserves it or if you think that you already do too much. . .this is about bringing the relationship back to being a fun and exciting place to be!

i cook, clean, do laundry and all of that. i dont expect him to do anything bc quite honestly i dont feel that my husband should have to - i enjoy taking care of him. . . . i just let the fun slide a bit and i am back to making it a priority

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How nice!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22


My husband does things all the time, so thats why I dont mind doing stuff for him. Plus he is appreciative of when I do things. Every single time i cook for him, he always says thank you babe and will keep saying how delicious it is. If .

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And my husband does nothing and that is fine for me

I just wanted him to remember that I am a sexy b!tch. I think he forgot - but he remembers now

but the way to remind him of that is not to ask him to ppick up his dirty drawers. . .

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NO tilde not true lol. I remember you said that your DH ALWAYS fills up your car for you and gets it serviced and you never have to put gas in your car bc he always takes care of it. Sometimes its not the typical things that women always talk about but i think that is very sweet and guys have their own way of showing how they care, so maybe its not like one main thing that so many women want their husbands to do but they should get credit for things they think of on their own.

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ahh yes he does do that stuff you are right, thanks denise

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22


My husband does things all the time, so thats why I dont mind doing stuff for him. Plus he is appreciative of when I do things. Every single time i cook for him, he always says thank you babe and will keep saying how delicious it is. If .

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And my husband does nothing and that is fine for me

I just wanted him to remember that I am a sexy b!tch. I think he forgot - but he remembers now

but the way to remind him of that is not to ask him to ppick up his dirty drawers. . .

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NO tilde not true lol. I remember you said that your DH ALWAYS fills up your car for you and gets it serviced and you never have to put gas in your car bc he always takes care of it. Sometimes its not the typical things that women always talk about but i think that is very sweet and guys have their own way of showing how they care, so maybe its not like one main thing that so many women want their husbands to do but they should get credit for things they think of on their own.

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ahh yes he does do that stuff you are right, thanks denise

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I dont know why but I always remember you saying that and always thought it was so very sweet. SOmetimes we look at specific things, like things women most complain about men not doing or things you always see in movies. But then there are so many other things they do that arent the typical things but so sweet and shows how much they care. The fact that he always does that for you I think is real sweet and his way being romantic and just taking care of you.

I always remember the smaller stuff bc hey any guy knows how to take someone out to dinner and the usual things that they are always told they should do ya know. Sometimes they do it bc they feel they have to lol. Out of all things DH used to do, one real small thing always stood out to me and in a weird way meant more to me lol. When i was working in jersey and would go to his house after in astoria, he would pick me up from the train bc his house is a bit of a walk from the train. But EVERY single time he picked me up, he always had redbull waiting for me bc he knew once i got off the train i wanted one. SO small but for me i always thought it was sweet that he would stop at the store first to get it for me and have it ready for me once i got in the car. Yeah dinners and everything are nice dont get me wrong, but i appreciate those type of things more