I got my thank you notes in the mail last week. I didn't make the 3 month mark, but I did get them out by 4 months. (Aside from the wedding and the holidays, we also had a death in the family--my grandma, who I was very close to, and things have been nutty at work.)
Well, I got a note in the mail on Friday from one of my dad's cousin's asking about the notes. It was mailed the day after I put mine in the mail. This cousin was at the funeral and knows about everything that has been going on.
For some reason, her note REALLY bothers me. It bothers me to the point that I feel like tossing her gift in the garbage (which by the way had the price tag on it still). At this point, it doesn't really matter, because the notes are done and mailed and there is nothing I can do except steam over it. FH says I am being unreasonable and too hard on myself.
Would this bother any of you?
PeteysBride
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Re: Would this bug you?
Posted by SusiBtoM
Someone sent you a note asking about your ty notes ?
Hell yes this would bother me. That is so incredibly rude of this family member. Etiquette states that you have up to one year to send out your TYs.
Most of us don't wait that long, especially now that everything is digital and computerized, the cards come in faster. Four months is commendable. I haven't started mine yet, just never seem to get a chance to do them here at home, so I will take them to work and write some during my lunch hour and my afternoon coffee break.
Just to repeat, how incredibly rude.
I agree. Is she an older cousin? I l know some of the older folks are really sticklers for the proper etiquette thing which we have discussed here before. Traditionally with thank you notes (non photo ones) they are supposed to go out to everyone who attended the wedding NO LATER than 2 weeks after you return from your honeymoon but you have a 1 month grace period. Thats the hardcore, Miss Manners Etiquette (I know, I grew up with it because of my mom and a family friend who drilled it into me )
Sorry Suse but the one year thing is TOTALLY wrong and its just something that people keep repeating but no, traditionally you do NOT have a year to send out ty cards to people who attended the wedding. I can grab all the links for ya.
GUESTS have a year to send a gift and YOU DO have a year IF that guest waits till the year mark to send a gift, to send them their TY card,
BUT nowadays 3 months is usually consodered the 'grace period' because so many peopel send out photo thank you cards and they know you need to wait until you have the proofs to make them.
STILL she was very very tacky and downright rude, especially because you guys had special circumstances going on. I would keep the dish and just ignore her. Don't let her bufg you. I think with all thats going on you may just be a little more senisitve to her being a PITA because you're all sorts of emotional right now which is understandable. But dont let her get to you. Just rolled your eyes and make the T sign across your forehead for TACKY!
Feel better sugar!
melissankurt07
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Re: Would this bug you?
It would totally bug me!!! I think that is really RUDE to ask for a Thank You. You have up to 1 year to send one for a wedding and with everything you have going on right now it seems even more unbelievable that she would send that to you.
JennNicole
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Re: Would this bug you?
Disgusting! How about that! What is wrong with people
I had someone who did the same thing that didn't attend our wedding but gave a gift. All my TY cards went out 2 months after and somehow hers never came somehow it got lost. Regardless , she didn't know I sent it out already and she was calling up all my DH's family telling them things about me for not sending one to her as of yet! I was soo mad hearing all of this from all of his family how she is reacting that I wrote another one mind you still under the 3 month mark stating 'SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET THE FIRST THANK YOU' and went to registered mail so she had to sign for it! !!!!
Ugggg
DNicholes
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Re: Would this bug you?
Who does that???? seriously???
MAN people are BORED!!!
I would totally confront her lol but that's just me.
rmsgirl
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Re: Would this bug you?
She's a cousin of my dad's. Probably in her 60's and raised the old fashioned way. Now that my temper is cooling off, I think she probably did want to make sure that the store sent the gift. She also wanted to give me a little 'etiquette lesson.' I still think that it was a little high handed and rude under the circumstances.
evnme
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Re: Would this bug you?
that would bug me
JennNicole
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Re: Would this bug you?
Probably in her 60's and raised the old fashioned way. Now that my temper is cooling off, I think she probably did want to make sure that the store sent the gift. She also wanted to give me a little 'etiquette lesson.'
This sounds about right. Yep .. all in all still they don't realize how they are acting out. They should have a lesson in etiquette to NOT address the issue even if you didn't meat up to thier expectations.
Our lady was in her 70's girls just FYI!
prettyprincess07
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Re: Would this bug you?
I think that sometimes we forget that our families are 'old school' and they ways of doing things are really different. In the past Thank You Cards were sent out sometimes a month 1/2 after the wedding, because yes we invited people to share our special day and paid for an extravegance that wouldnt happen everyday. They took the time to come and added it with a token of their appreciation for being thought of to share that day. I totally understand the frustration, yet some people do things on their own time. If I have any event, I do my best to send thank you cards the following week depending on my schedule b/c that's just me.
PeteysBride
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Re: Would this bug you?
Posted by rmsgirl
She's a cousin of my dad's. Probably in her 60's and raised the old fashioned way. Now that my temper is cooling off, I think she probably did want to make sure that the store sent the gift. She also wanted to give me a little 'etiquette lesson.' I still think that it was a little high handed and rude under the circumstances.
Yea...I wouldnt let her bug you. Like I said ebfore, I was raised with the etiquette shoved down my throat because a friend of our family's is old school-like ladie's luncheons, tea length dresses, southern lady old school. Thats the ONLY reason I know the proper etiquette, but like I previously posted, very few people follow it thta hardcore anymore. Thats why many sites now will say 3 months -6months to get them out because there is a trend now in the photo ty cards which take longer. To be honest, most people DONT know the real etiquette anymore because it's so rarely used.
Don't let her bother you. You got em out in a timely manner considering your situation.
