We got 2 invitations in the mail in one week. Both for DH's side of the family. One was for a shower one Sunday and one was for a baptism the Sunday after.
The next time I saw my MIL ( a few days later) I asked her if she had rsvp'd yet ( It was a phone RSVP) she said she hadn't but she was going to call for both the next day. I asked her if she wouldn't mind rsvp'ing for us and I told her all 3 of us would be at the baptism but that the shower landed on my moms birthday weekend and I already had plans with her. She didn't look happy but didn't say anything about it. The next time I saw her she told me she rsvp'd YES for the shower!!! I asked her why she did that after I told her I couldn't go.
Her answer - Well I think it would be the right thing to do since her mother gave you such a nice shower gift!!!!!
Are you fricken kidding me???? I tried to explain to DH that he going against what I said and doing whatever she felt like doing showed NO RESPECT for me whatsoever. Its not like I was planning on not attending AND not sending a gift!!!
Now when my DH was on the phone with her the subject came up and he told her that I definitely wasn't going and already had plans. She got all pissed off and said all this stuff to him... That made us get into a HUGE fight
At least I learned an important lesson. Never let your MIL rsvp for you!!!!!!
kel2004
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Wow! I would be very annoyed. Consider it a lesson learned: Do not trust MIL!
FireIslandLove
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Oh that stinks, sorry to hear she did that! So are you going or not now (after the fight with DH?)
AJsMommy122
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Posted by FireIslandLove
Oh that stinks, sorry to hear she did that! So are you going or not now (after the fight with DH?)
I have mixed emotions. I want to go just so he dosen't have to fight with her ( b/c they will) But in a way I feel like I need to stand my ground or she will always do this to me. She needs to know that when I say something I mean it you know??
FireIslandLove
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Absolutely! It's too bad its not one of those parties that you could go for half of it and keep the plans with your mom! Tough decision, sorry!
june262004
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Dont be mad at me But you are married an adult you should have Rsvp'd yourself
Sorry JMHO
suven
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Posted by june262004
Dont be mad at me But you are married an adult you should have Rsvp'd yourself
Sorry JMHO
this is true. It's not a good idea to get into the habit of asking your MIL to do these things for you...pretty soon, she'll just assume that she gets to make plans for you
princess99
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
You are only given one birth Mom . I would go to see your Mom. My Mom passed away 11 years ago, and I would do anything to share another b day with her. My Mom's b day was the day after mine, so my b day is hard still on me. I would send a gift with a note to the shower, but do not give it to your MIL to give. I would sent the gift to whoever is giving the shower. HTH.
Jax430
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
I would be very annoyed at MIL, and I would stick to your guns about not going to the baptism. However, you now know to RSVP for yourself.
JimmysBride
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
You're not overreacting - I would be very annoyed also!! And I agree with you that you should stick to your word and not go to the shower. Giving in on this will only teach your MIL that she can walk all over you by fighting with your DH.
juju
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Yes, I would be pissed. Lesson Learned!
lilmrs
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WOW! I think pissed off would be an underestimate of my emotions. I agree...lesson learned.
wood2be
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Oh yes! I would be extremely annoyed! Especially since it's your Mother. It's not like you were going to the mall with friends.
Blu-ize
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Keep your plans and let your MIL deal with her actions. She should never have RSVP'd for you. Nerve. Send a gift and your regrets. BTW-I would call them and let them know that you will not be attending the shower.
JodiBabe
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
Posted by FireIslandLove
Oh that stinks, sorry to hear she did that! So are you going or not now (after the fight with DH?)
But in a way I feel like I need to stand my ground or she will always do this to me. She needs to know that when I say something I mean it you know??
I agree that you should stand your ground & stick with your original plans with your mom otherwise it seems she WILL always do this to you!!!!
dpli
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Stand your ground. Call the person yourself and just say that you think there was a mis-communication and you wanted to make sure they know you can't make the shower. I am sure your MIL would not want you blowing off her birthday plans, why should you do that to your mom?
I agree with the other ladies - RSVP yourself from now on.
nferrandi
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Posted by dpli
Stand your ground. Call the person yourself and just say that you think there was a mis-communication and you wanted to make sure they know you can't make the shower. I am sure your MIL would not want you blowing off her birthday plans, why should you do that to your mom?
I agree with the other ladies - RSVP yourself from now on.
I agree 100%
MrsERod
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
IMO you should have rsvp'd yourself to avoid such a situation. you've mentioned before minor issues you've had with your MIL, so to leave it up to her to rsvp for you was just asking for trouble. sorry to be so blunt, but like you said, learn from this experience and next time, don't ask her for any favors. JMHO Also, call the person directly and explain why you cannot make it. I know if it were me, I would completely understand why your missing the event, especially since its your moms b-day! good luck.
lorsin
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
I would go with your mom on her birthday but get the biggest heaviest gift off the registry for the shower and make your MIL lug it to the shower for you!!
That'll show her!!
AJsMommy122
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting? VENT
Thanks everyone!!!! And for those who bashed me for not RSVP'ing on my own it was b/c the person throwing the shower ( the brides mom) dosen't speak english and I don't speak Italian!!!! lol
