Would you make them give you money? LONG

Ok here's the story:

The band at my wedding kinda sorta screwed us. They sent a lot of replacements, namely the male lead singer who was also the MC. We worked very closely with our band, being that DH and I both work in music and it was VERY important to us that they be GREAT. We weren't up their butts or anything, just went to see them a couple of times, and decided they were perfect for us. We even got friends to hire them as well, for their wedding in August.

Anywho fast forward to our wedding. Rainy mess of a day. The female lead shows up, and she sounds fabulous. The band was replacements from what we originally saw, but they were good musicians anyway. But the male lead replacement was some guy with an allergy problem that sounded awful. He barely sang, staying in the background most of the night. Every song was done by the female lead, pretty much alone. People danced, had fun, but there was no MC. She couldn't carry the wedding herself, and at times it was awkward. She was obviously not ready to do the party alone, and obviously the real MC who didn't show, would have been better. Some people (namely my parents and family) hated the band and haven't stopped *****ing. Plenty of others thought they were great, even want to hire them. Some people like the no MC effect. I have no clue, because it was my wedding and I don't remember a ****ed thing.

We complained when we got home, and I finally got a response. The guy is asking if we want a refund on anything. Tells us it's hard because payroll for our wedding was done 2 weeks after it, but if we want something back, let him know and he'll see what can be 'worked out'. Now, in a nutshell, we were pretty much shorted out of one singer because this replacement didn't do his job the night of the wedding, he plain old ****ed.

My question: Should we take the money?

All opinions welcome.

EDITED TO ADD: POTENTIAL BRIDE TO BE FREAK OUTS - THIS IS NOT A LONG ISLAND, OR EVEN NEW YORK BAND SO ODDS ON IT BEING YOURS ARE SLIM TO NONE.

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

if you were disappointed, and they're offering, I'd take the refund! Why not?

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

I guess I should be more clear as to my dilemma. Ever just feel like a 'scutch'? I know it's not in everyone's vernacular, but it basically means that your someone with their hand out. I guess I am just kind of wishy washy about wanting to take the money from him because the band was paid and tipped that night, and he would basically have to go back and make the band members fork over money in order to refund us. (At least that's the way he put it).

I guess I just feel like a cheapo??
It's hard to explain.

My MIL and Mom's opinions are 'never say no to dough' and to take it. But we have to see this band at our friends wedding in a month.

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

Without a doubt, take what they offer. You did not get the band you booked! I only got a slight amount back for my situation because according to the agency I booked the band from, 'I was ripped off and shouldnt of paid on the night of my wedding'. In other words, it was too late because the band already had my money. I only got a little bit back. Take what you can get and leave it at that! Sorry this happened to you!

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

I wouldn't worry about seeing them next month - you'll blend in with the crowd. And they're professionals - they won't make you feel uncomfortable 'if' they remember you.

Anyway, the was I see it - you're not completely happy and didn't get what you paid for. So you deserve the refund. Thats not being cheap, its being fair!

(I know 'scutch', though I don't think I've ever seen it written before. I wouldn't have guessed how to spell it. We don't use it as someone who has their hand out, but more of a pain in the a$$ kind of way)

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

Misty, If you really feel you want a refund, then accept it.

I personally probably would, since you 'didn't get what you paid for'.

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

LisaT that's EXACTLY what it is!!

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

This happened to Cindy as well- different band I am sure but still it happens....

I would tell him that he owes you a refund! Tough luck on him. Not your problem what his payroll issues are. You were not given the service you paid for. Plain and simple.

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

I've actually spoken at length with Cindy about her band issues. Mine weren't nearly as bad, but I am guessing you ladies are right...DH thinks we should take it. I am working now on wording a response to them....I'm going to try and take a high road here.

I guess I just feel bad because DH and I sympathize with musicians, and know what they go through, but when it comes to wedding bands...I just think they have to be prepared for everything. Even a replacement with allergies (he didn't know he had a problem that afternoon on the way? Take medicine and stop taking smoking breaks... )

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

Thank you very much ladies. I really appreciate the quick responses. I swear it's lucky I didn't find this board early on in my wedding planning, I'd have needed a laptop to get anything done.

Have a great night girls!

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

you didnt get what you want, and payed for , so i would definately take a refund. I would not ask for all the money back because they did sent people down who did sing, but for lack of a lead male, and mc, i would take a refund, maybe 25%-50% back

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

I agree with Emily. You did not get what you contracted and paid for. You should get at least something back and you shouldn't feel badly about it. If you paid for $25.00 worth of gas and the guy only pumped $20.00 worth wouldn't you want the other $5.00 back?

I do sympathize with you though because I would probably be the same way. I have to make myself be tough sometimes!!

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

Ok, so I take the money.

Next question. How much do I ask for?!

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

Take the money. I really doubt that all the money you paid was equally split between the members and nothing went to 'the boss'. The owner of the band is the one who screwed up and he's the one who will be out his money. Now doesn't that seem fair?

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

I am SURE they will not ask the musicians for their money back. Being a musician myself, I also sympathize, but wedding bands are a whole other world. SOMEONE had to make a profit off of your wedding, and it is most likely this guy, so he will have to fork the refund over from his own pocket. If he were to ask the musicians for their money back, he would not have people working for him. Iam sure you are not the first person to complain, so I wouldn't worry about that. I would take how much you paid, divide it by how many musicians there were, then once you figure that out, ask for double what one musician would have made on your wedding maybe plus some more. This way you KNOW you are not cutting into anyone's paycheck.

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

LIMom.....you sound just like.....MY MOM!

MOM??

You're right though....

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

If you are unhappy with their service and they are offering you a refund you should take it. Why should you pay for something that you were unhappy with.

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

LOL!!! and so many of you girls sound like my daughter.

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

Take the money and run! You got the shaft and were not happy. It doesn't matter if your guests realized it or not.....you did! On your wedding day, nothing should upset you as this did. Take the money and spend it on something for yourself!

Re: Would you make them give you money? LONG

absolutely take the mony. You paid for something and didn't get it - they owe it to you!