So my sister's BFF is getting married. Her and her guy have been together for 8 years and finally tying the knot. When they got engaged his family told them 'We will not be contributing to your wedding AT ALL.....BUT we will be purchasing a home for you guys for $300K cash' (or giving them $300K cash towards the purchase of a home)
Weeeelllll--this is the thing that the parents just threw at them. They have decided that if they purchase this home, the deed will be in the name of the parents only. It will not be in their name at all. Later on--when the parents die, the home will be put in their son's name and their daughter's name--50/50. Meaning my sister's friend will have no name on the property whatsoever. Her FH and his sister DO NOT GET ALONG at all--they sometimes just pure hate each other. (She is VERY spoiled--the parents bought her and her freeloading boyfriend a condo that they pay NOTHING for and she was pisssed that her brother was getting a house and she ONLY got a condo.) So if the parents died--it would be a battle to buy the sister out OR god forbid her FH dies she would have no stake or claim to the home.
Now my sister's friend is contemplating whether its worth it to take the house. She knows they will be the type to say to her 'Well its not YOUR home is it?' When she wants to do anything to the house. Ultimately it will be her decision--her FH says he'll go with what she decides
My question--would you take the home or say 'thanks but no thanks'?
Renee615
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Re: Would you take the house?
NO WAY!!! This is a disaster waiting to happen. You need to keep us posted on this. I am curious as to what she decides.
ant n tilde
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I would take it bc at this point in my life it would be the only way i could ever get a house! But honestly, it sounds like more trouble then its worth.
B U T
I totally 100% understand what the parents are doing. Maybe it sound messed up but they are protecting their own children. Thinking realistically, with so many marriages ending in divorce. . . I would want my SON to end up with the house/money and I would not want to worry about his (ex) wife being entitled to it. It is sad but I understand why they would think that way.
Dani731
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Posted by ewickens
I'm the one absolutely and the reasons why are below:
1. The couple can take the generous gift and buy a beautiful home in the husband's name. I assume the parents are not ready to pass away. They can live there without any mortgage - paying only the monthly utility bills and thus saving thousands of dollars each month.
I beleive Mel said that they can NOT put the house in the husbands name, it HAS to be in the parent's name. So this theory you have will not be the situation.
It is not a gift if the house has to be in the parent's name. Basically that parents are buying the house & just letting them live there until they die. Then the brother & sister have to battle it out & that can get VERY UGLY!
I'd say no thank you & keep it moving...
LoveRocks
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I don't like to mix family and $$ because it ALWAYS gets ugly. As tempting as it may be, I would have to decline the offer.
diva7531
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I like the idea of them living there for free to save money for 'their own' house.
MJDoc12
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Posted by diva7531
I like the idea of them living there for free to save money for 'their own' house.
yeah that's what i was thinking too---but its just such a tough situation. i'm not even sure what i would do! she just hates the idea of feeling like shes living there for 'free' but paying for it cause she will be made to feel its not hers at all.
this is why i was when she was talking to my sis and i about it last nite and asking what we would do!
Aug07OFCbride
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Re: Would you take the house?
hell to the nooooo!
it sounds weird. i understand they want to leave the home to their son and daughter but its not really a gift to their son and his new wife. i dunno. so many things could happen.
i understand that they could live there and save money but i dunno. id be very leary. i dont think i could do it.
kahlua716
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Re: Would you take the house?
Nope. Not a chance.
It would be different if my name would be on there along with DH AND the sister. No way if my name isn't on there at all. I might do it if it was just DH's name and NOT the sister.
thelastresort
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I would do it. Especially if they can't afford a house on their own. Why pay rent to a total stranger when you can live in a house for free or next to nothing? If I were her, I would take them up on the offer, save and save, then move out when they can afford something else. Then the in laws can have their big old empty house. Screw em! Then, upon the parents' death, there is nothing for he and his sister to fight over b/c nobody will have to move out and they can just split the profit if they choose to sell it.
hunnybunnyxoxo
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Re: Would you take the house?
that would piss me the f off! but i would take the deal if only to save for my own house while i am there. then we would buy our own place and rent out the house purchased by the evil in laws.
and when the parents die- well, that property will be in dh's name so then i would discuss with him what we should do next, rent, sell etc. regardless, there will be drama with the spoiled sister- so it doesnt matter how you slice it. that girl will always want more so dont bite your tongue to spite your face.
the way i see it, they are both coming out ahead. if they believe marriage is for life, then in the end when the parents die, he and she will reap the benefits.
im sure that the son/husband will put his wife/your sisters friend on the deed once the parents are out of the picture
i just look at it as REAL ESTATE!! real estate =money! while you are there, you are living rent free, you will be able to travel, shop, enjoy life, save for a house and in the end, theoretically own two houses.
so hell yeah, I'D DO IT!
Toots123
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Re: Would you take the house?
It's a terribly manipulative offer (and it sounds like his parents are horrible) but I would take it in a second, save my own money and buy a different home or different investments with the money I saved from living in NY rent free!!!
Oh- one questions - whos paying the property taxes?
acsm
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Re: Would you take the house?
not a chance..
thanks but no thanks..
its a nice gesture but unfortunately it sounds like one that will cause a huge headache later on... its not worth it!
soon2bmrsVPT
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Posted by acsm
not a chance..
thanks but no thanks..
its a nice gesture but unfortunately it sounds like one that will cause a huge headache later on... its not worth it!
ITA... Shoot, I know I'm desperate, but I'm not that desperate. I definitely think it will cause a nonstop headache & drive a wedge between the husband & wife
Danacm80
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Re: Would you take the house?
I think it is a generous thing to do... even if the wife isn't named on there. As someone said earlier... the parents are protecting their own children... if the parents die...i'm sure the brother & sister would have to deal with the same thing w/ the parent's house. If that is the only way they can get a house.. then I think they should accept it... down the road.. they can always buy something else on their own.
PegaLega
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Re: Would you take the house?
Nope, too much attached to that offer.
Summer07Bride
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Posted by MeNBobs
I would run and fast from that offer.
They could take it as temporary place to live for free and then save up and eventually move on but the parents not having the guys name on the title is weird. it would be like my parents giving us a check as a wedding gift but making it out to themselves. A gift is something you give to someone not lend them. I think it is a nice offer but i would never want to be involved in anything where I was made to feel guilty or like my home was in fact not mine.
I was thinking the same thing. If anything, I would do what Catherine said and stay there for a little bit to save up money and then I woudl be out trying to find my own home.
babygirl71777
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i would be scared once the parents die i would lose my home! i would def stay away from that offer not worth it!!! JMO
Cpt2007
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To play devils advocate for a sec, let's say they take the deal to save. How willing would the DH be, after saving money, to buy something else and move out? Is he under the sway of his parents? Seems like they might try to figure out a way to guilt them into staying in the house.
joan_db
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I want to be realistic. My answer is YES I will take the house and try to save up until we finally get a house my own. Either way, even if the deed belongs to my parents name, I still have a chance of getting half of the value of the house ($150K right now), its still a pretty generous gift.
znycgirl
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Re: Would you take the house?
Absolutely! I would take it...
Here's why:
1. Bride and groom def. don't have enough money for the house. Probably won't for quite a few years.
2. From view of groom's parents: they will spend the $$ on the house...and in 1-2 years, the couple COULD end up in divorce. Then the bride is entitled to 50% of THEIR money. With a divorce rate of 70%...this is a bad bet. (No matter how perfect the 2 of them are together...this is a bad business decision)
3. Bride will STILL have more than she started out with: money that would have otherwise gone to rent for YEARS. If the 2 of them save this money...they could buy another house...or invest & make more $$. Over a few yrs it would def be more than half of $300K
The parents are not looking at trying to screw over the newlyweds when they die...they are simply protecting the assets and trying to help out their own son through the early years.
Forget the daughter. No matter how unhappy she is, the parents WILL help her out & make it equal (no matter what she thinks now). You never give one child $5 and the other $20.
